How to deal with people?
At arm's length
Your life will be empty if you do not have friends, relatives and neighbors. Imagine living in an island with no people around you; you will go mad. Life becomes meaningful only when you are surrounded by your near and dear ones. But how much of importance can you give the people around you? You must give everyone their due respect, but you should not permit them to cross your border. Never let anyone come near your nose and keep them at arm’s length so that your independence does not get tampered. You should be able to lead your own life and not lead a life which others want you to lead.
Neighbors are like relatives to you and it is they who come to your rescue in case of some emergency. It is important that you respect and get along with them. Sometimes relationship with neighbors take a competitive turn and you are at loggerheads to keep in pace with them in materialistic status. When your neighbor buys a car, you too want one, your neighbor buys a new TV and invariably you too buy one. Your life is your own and it is you who should decide what you want and not your neighbor’s buying capacity.
You should not compare yourself with your neighbors and try to ape them. If you do so, you will find that you are not happy with what you have got and you spend your life craving for things which you do not need. Another drawback is the interference you face from your neighbors. They barge in at odd times, eat up your time and generally make your life theirs and not yours. You can pleasantly make it known to your neighbors that you need privacy with your family and you will be occupied with your work at the time they infringe into your house.
In office also, you have to respect your higher officials, but that does not mean you have to be slavish. Have seen some of your colleagues? They bow low to the ground to get some favors from the senior officials. You are paid for your work and not for your cringing humbleness. You lose your self esteem if you lower yourself too much before your officials. You should not be arrogant, but you need to be confident enough to give the message that you will be a loyal and sincere employee and not be a slave to their commands.
You have to adjust and tolerate others if you must survive in this world. You cannot expect everyone to tow your line and you need your own privacy. Without privacy and individuality you will not lead your life, but lead a life which is related to other peoples wish. There will be no freedom in your life and you will have no ‘me’ time if you give overwhelming importance to others. You cannot stay aloof, but you cannot be at the beck and call of everyone.
‘There is a sacred realm of privacy for every man and woman where he makes his choices and decisions- a realm of his own essential rights and liberties into which the law, generally speaking, must not intrude-Geoffrey Fisher.
Privacy in your life is essential and you should be firm to take your own decisions so that your life is something which you shape and not make it a puppet show where others pull the string to make you dance to flick of their hand. You should balance your individuality, desires and wishes and co-link it with adjustability with others and make the best out of your private life and your outside life.