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How to Build Your Confidence Levels

Updated on April 19, 2016
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Lynsey is currently exploring her weight loss journey, and enjoys sharing tips and ideas along the way.

Do you suffer from low self confidence?

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We all experience times in life where we feel a little low, and feel as though we are not good enough. We are hard on ourselves for being stupid, or being fat, or being ugly, and we never truly take the time to re-build the damage done by all the negativity. It can be all too easy to believe the negative thoughts.

While these abnormal thoughts can usually be established to be caused by an early example of cruelty, such as bullying or ridicule, little sense can be made of the reasons why our adult minds still cling to them, and inflict them upon ourselves time and time again.

Personally, I have experienced times of self loathing, and while I know the root cause of this, the knowledge doesn't prevent it from happening. I still have to fight off these thoughts, and remind myself that I am worth that fight! This hub will hopefully help some of you to rebuild a bit of your self confidence, and in turn, make you a happier person.

Learn to Love Yourself

I know some of you may have seen the title and rolled your eyes. But before you can be sure of your self worth, and be sure that you are a valued, loveable person, you must first learn to love yourself. It can be hard to attempt at first, but you soon get used to this strange new concept!

There are a few ways to attempt this.

1- Talk to yourself every day in the mirror, and tell yourself one thing that looks good/ is good about you. It can be that your skin looks clear, or that you have a nice bubbly personality, or that you like the outfit, or that you have achieved something productive... anything that you like about yourself that day!

2- Joke about yourself in a different way. If you were like me, you always made jokes at your own expense in order to hide the fact that you were insecure. This seems to help, at the end of the day because if I slag myself off, no-one else can. Wrong. Eventually, we begin to believe these jokes, so I propose that you start joking in a different sort of way. Comments such as "oh, look at me in my sexy dress" while wearing the most unflattering potato sack are better than "oh look at the state of me." If you can at least joke about being able to look amazing in anything, you will start to believe it!

3- If there is something you truly hate about yourself, and you can't see yourself progressing past it... try to change it. Physical changes are easier to make than personality changes, so don't be too hard on yourself! Changing the colour of your hair can be done with a bit of dye, but changing your entire personality would take numerous breakdowns, heartache and counselling, so I don't think it's worth it somehow!

4- If you hate something about yourself, try to see a positive in it! For example, I am overweight... Quite a bit overweight... But, rather than letting this get me down, I look at it in a positive way. I can lose weight! I can make the effort to make myself happier! I don't have to stay this way! Already I have made a bit of slow progress, but I feel better at the concept of taking action!

5- Ask your friends what your best qualities are. Return the favour for them, if it helps! Think about those qualities in your effort to love yourself more. If a quality is mentioned that you admire in others, you will see that you are an admirable person!

Source

Ditch The Negative People!

It may sound harsh, but if there are people in your life who constantly belittle you, or make you feel insignificant or bad, get rid of them!

Obviously, try to breach the subject first- they may not be aware at how they are making you feel. Something like "Do you know that what you are saying/ doing right now is really hurtful to me because it makes me feel bad about my body/ life/ personality" works well. Bringing the subject out into the open is the best way forward. But if they persist to insult you or joke at your expense, then stop yourself from being in social situations with them.

I know that you have probably known these people for a lifetime, but if they can't change their comments and attitudes towards you, they really aren't worth having around.

Focus On The Positive

It may sound all hippy- like, but if you can focus on the positive things in life, they will eventually outnumber the negative aspects. This attitude can be said for a lot of things, but if you use it in terms of your confidence and your abilities, you will soon begin to acknowledge your own achievements!

So, if you have a slip up off the diet, don't focus on that one day, instead think in terms of: "well, that's 6 days out of 7 that i have eaten well, go me!" Or, if you see an unflattering photo of yourself, think more of "wow, my hair is gorgeous..." etc.

If you can retrain your brain to see the positive in a bad situation, you will start feeling more upbeat and confident in yourself.

Help Each Other!

Low self confidence is actually more common than you realise. Talk to your friends about it- they probably have low spells themselves! Try to boost each other's morale whenever possible, but don't be dishonest! There is nothing worse than a dishonest compliment- and it shows, let me tell you!

These tips are simply what worked for me, and Im sure there are other methods that work well for other people... so in the spirit of helping others, feel free to add your own suggestions onto the end via the comments, if you wish.


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    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      I'm glad I could help! I obviously don't want to encourage people to get rid of everyone in their lives, but you know who is worth keeping... And who isn't!

    • Nabil Ansari profile image

      Nabil Ansari 3 years ago from Mumbai, India

      This really helped me out. Ditched 3 people today. Thanks for the help.

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      You're welcome! Thanks again!

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 3 years ago from Andalusia

      OK, I get you. Thanks for clarifying.

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      Thanks Steven, I hope it helps your friend!

      Sue, thanks for your visit and comment! I think maybe you misunderstood my point? I was showing that a physical change is often easier/quicker than a mental one? And is mostly directed towards people who are perhaps overly critical of their personality traits..

      I agree that it is a good idea to improve yourself, but the issue is that people with low self confidence should learn to love themselves- constantly looking to change an essential part of them would be detrimental to the progress of increasing confidence... Plus, how to change your personality would be a whole different hub entirely! :-)

    • Sue Adams profile image

      Juliette Kando 3 years ago from Andalusia

      Good positive ideas and well written. I so much agree with you about dumping negative people and replacing them with inspiring and positive ones. However, Surely hair dye is a poor substitute for changing/improving one's personality. Isn't life one long learning road towards becoming the best person that we can be?

    • Stevennix2001 profile image

      Steven Escareno 3 years ago

      i hope you don't mind, but i sent a friend of mine a link to this hub as i think it could help her out a lot with her self esteem issues.

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      Thanks WL! Technique 2 is one of my favorites, too... although some people can think of it as arrogance! If only they read my hub :P

    • writinglover profile image

      Jennifer 3 years ago from Lost...In Video Games

      Loved this a lot! I definitely use technique number two a lot! Great ideas!

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      Thanks so much for your kind comments, Millionaire. I appreciate them very much!

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 3 years ago from USA

      These are good tips on improving your self confidence. It does help to stop thinking about yourself and try to help someone else. You can feel proud that you are a kind and thoughtful person, and come to realize that your troubles aren't as bad as you imagine them to be.

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      I'm glad you think so! If they help just one person battle low confidence, I'll be happy!

    • DreamerMeg profile image

      DreamerMeg 3 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Great ideas here for building self confidence.

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      Lol thanks! Hopefully some will understand the irony within ;-)

    • Bishop55 profile image

      Rebecca 3 years ago from USA

      the poll question was great btw. Do you suffer from low self confidence? no...i'm awesome! LOL!

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      Thanks! Even if it can only help one or two people, then I've achieved a goal :)

    • SamboRambo profile image

      Samuel E. Richardson 3 years ago from Salt Lake City, Utah

      I appreciate your hub. Good advice.

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      Thanks! It's especially hard for kids as they simply don't understand why people are horrible!

    • Bishop55 profile image

      Rebecca 3 years ago from USA

      Great tips that I need my stepson to work on. Thanks to his egg donor deadbeat mother his confidence is not as high as I think it should be. Granted he's 7, but he's been through a lot. Voted up!

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 3 years ago from Glasgow

      No problem! :) Glad it could be of use :) Hopefully not too much "tough love" in there!

    • Stevennix2001 profile image

      Steven Escareno 3 years ago

      thanks for the tips, as im sure this'll help out a lot of people; myself included.

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 4 years ago from Glasgow

      Thanks, and no problem :) I loved your first attempt, so well done :)

    • veronicasullivan profile image

      Veronica B. Sullivan 4 years ago from Toronto

      Very informative and sweet! Very positive and gentle counselling here. Recommended C: And Thank you for the comments on my first hub, I appreciate it very much!

    • sparkleyfinger profile image
      Author

      Lynsey Harte 4 years ago from Glasgow

      No problem, these are just a few of the methods I use, and my confidence has definitely improved, so good luck to anyone trying it!!

    • profile image

      Beth37 4 years ago

      Thanks for this article. Im gonna recommend it. :)