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How to Have Better Relationships and Be Happier

Updated on July 9, 2017
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Tomi enjoys reading and learning about self-help or anything that helps her live a happier life. She enjoys helping others.

Better Relationships

You need to start with yourself first. By loving ourselves and being happy by ourselves, we will attract people and create better relationships. Don't you enjoy spending time around positive people? Associate with positive, enthusiastic, happy people and it will rub off on you.

Better Relationships


Negative Patterns

Positive thoughts lead to positive actions. Some of us have recurring negative patterns which can lead to bad things always happening. Here is a list of some negative patterns:

  • "drama patterns,
  • accident patterns,
  • sickness patterns,
  • mess patterns,
  • broke patterns,
  • indispensable patterns, and
  • job change patterns."

The negative patterns list can go on. If we think in our mind that bad things always happen, they will continue to happen. However, if we think positive, things will start turning around. If we change our ways, life will change with us. Changing patterns can be difficult because we meet up with resistance. Having better mental pictures in your mind can help with this. Think of how you want your life to be and consistently think of it being that way by speaking good things to yourself and keeping positive thoughts and pictures in your mind. Also, there is a mind/body connection. If you always think about being sick at a particular time, you can actually make yourself sick. For example, if you say and think, "I always get sick at Christmas", you will find yourself being sick every Christmas.

Positive Patterns

Here is a list of some positive patterns to have:

"I'm always healthy.

I'm always in the right place at the right time.

I trust people and they always treat me well.

Whatever I do is always fun and easy."

If you change your negative patterns to positive patterns, you will become happier. You can begin to do this by having positive self-talk, deciding to change your negative patterns to positive patterns and realizing that you will be challenged by resistance. You must forge ahead. Listen to and read about positive things. Think positive things abut yourself. Be nice to yourself. Sometimes, we need to be reminded to think positive.

Don't sabotage yourself and have self-fulfilling prophecy of self-sabotage. By consistently thinking positive, we can help our problems melt away.

Positive Thoughts



Be accepting of compliments even though it may be hard at times. Say, thank you. It is a gift from the other person and you don't want to give the gift back. Have a self-love. Appreciate your own worth. That is what successful people do. Remember that you deserve to be treated well. Don't sabotage your own happiness. Also, you should give compliments to others. Doesn't that always make us feel better about ourselves? Have a good self-image.


The book below gives a lot of ideas on having greater confidence and security.

Here is a list of poor self-image:

  • negative talk about ourselves,
  • "jealousy,
  • experiencing guilt,
  • failure to give compliments,
  • non-acceptance of compliments,
  • not taking our own needs into account,
  • not asking for what we want,
  • starving ourselves of luxuries unnecessarily,
  • failure to give affection,
  • inability to receive and enjoy affection,
  • criticism of others,
  • comparison of ourselves with others, and
  • constant poor health."

If you struggle with any of the above, you may need to improve on your self-image. To help improve on yourself, the following are some suggestions you could try:

  • "Accept compliments.
  • Give compliments.
  • Always speak well of yourself.
  • Praise yourself.
  • Separate your behavior from yourself.
  • Treat your body well.
  • Let people know how you expect to be treated.
  • Get around good people.
  • Work at having pleasure without guilt.
  • Read books which give you ideas and inspiration.
  • Always picture in your mind how you want to be, not how you are. You will then necessarily gravitate toward your dominant thoughts."

Be Happy!


Happiness Poll

Do you consider yourself a glass half full person, a glass half empty person or someone that just considers the water as what they have been given?

See results

The Eleventh Hours

Have you ever heard this expression, "The Eleventh Hour"? That saying can be very true. Sometimes, things can seem so bad, so dark and if you just hang on, some things can really start looking up when you least expect it. If you have positive goals in mind, and keep pushing through the resistance, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your goal or success may not come exactly when you want it, but it may be just around the corner. You may be tested at times, but realize that things worthwhile take time and effort. Be persistence in achieving your goals. However, sometimes, it may be the time to quit or get out. For example, if your job is making you miserable or you see better opportunities elsewhere, that may be the time to get out and move on.

Further Reading

I have written more articles on being mentally healthy, positive thinking, and unique techniques. If you are interested in learning more about that, please refer to my other articles. You may want to start with my very first article, titled: "Introduction to Freeing Yourself From Your Problems." I have also written articles about recovering from injuries and speedy recovery tips.

Please feel free to make any comments or ask any questions below, and I will try to respond.

Thank you for reading.

You can read more about this article in Being Happy! A Handbook To Greater Confidence & Security, by Andrew Matthews.

© 2017 Tomi Smith


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