ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Increase Self-Confidence

Updated on April 20, 2012

Sometimes it's hard for us to feel confident.

We might feel that we have a small, or insignificant part to play in the world.

This makes it hard for us to speak up for ourselves, or take part in society in a way we would like to.

I had a little tea party
This afternoon at three.
'Twas very small-
Three guests in all-
Just I, myself and me.

Myself ate all the sandwiches,
While I drank up the tea;
'Twas also I who ate the pie
And passed the cake to me.

-Jessica Nelson North

Your best Friend within

Who is the person who is always be with you?

The one person who will never leave you?

That person is YOU !!!

It's time to make friends with yourself...

Take time to get to know YOU

Everyone is different, and everyone has unique gifts and preferences.

When you find out what your unique qualities are then you can begin to find out where you fit into the world.

Because of the way that society is these days, we are pressured to conform or live to standards that are set for us by our parents, our schools, our work and even our friends. If we don't live up to their expectations then we think that we're not good enough or not valuable enough. This limiting belief can set us up for things like depression and other issues that make us feel unhappy and affect our quality of life.

What if we decided to question these standards and instead measure ourselves against how true we are to ourselves. We are all made differently and we all have a special place in the universe.

There are many useful tools we can use to find out who we are and what our precious gifts are. Some of them we now instinctively and some we can find out using online quizzes, or the kind of assessments that human resources professionals or psychology majors use. This is not a way to criticize ourselves but a way to determine our true path.

When we take time to think about our preferences and learn about ourselves this also

If we treat ourselves with compassion and unconditional love ( yes I said LOVE) then we will find that others will begin to treat us with kindness too. When we appreciate ourselves as we are then others will also thank us for being who we are. A great side-effect of this is that we become less critical of others during the process.

"Life is to be fortified with many friendships

To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence"

-Sydney Smith

Hang out with people who really care about You

You always have the choice over who your friends are - so make GOOD choices.

Choose people who help you to feel uplifted and support you.

If you don't feel confident to go out and make friends then join a group of people with similar interest or hobbies. There is a good chance that you will find others who feel the same way as you and are looking for friends too.

As humans we are built to be social and when we don't have other people around us then we always notice that something is missing. Even just having coffee with friends will lift us when we feel our confidence is falling.

Practice gratitude and forgiveness...

These may seem like strange ways to develop self-confidence but when we are grateful for what we have and forgiving or others, and of ourselves, then we bring a calm strength to the core of our lives on which we can build.

There are many ways in which we can do this. Some people find classical spiritual routes and others are more "new age" in their approach. There is no wrong way to do this.

It has been proven that by letting go of negative emotions like remorse, regret, guilt, and anger we can greatly improve our quality of life.

Balanced emotions are a great basis for improving self-confidence, when we have a positive outlook we become less afraid of what might happen to us.

Ask for help

At some time or other we all have difficulty asking for help.

Confidence can be built in conjunction with many supportive agencies here are some examples:

  • Employers and educators help us by providing new skills.
  • Counsellors can help by providing us with advice.
  • Life coaches can help us to help ourselves and hold us accountable for our own decisions.
  • Energy psychologists can clear events from our past that are holding us back.

No matter how afraid we feel, taking that first step towards asking for help can become a giant leap in our level of self-confidence.

Take time for yourself

Take time for yourself, to find out who you are and what you need to become the best You that You can be.

EVERYONE is worth it!!!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • catsimmons profile imageAUTHOR

      Catherine Simmons 

      6 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thanks Liz, glad you enjoyed it!

    • Liz Lilith profile image

      Liz Lilith 

      6 years ago from Florida, USA

      Loved this article! You're so spot on! Voted up :)

    • catsimmons profile imageAUTHOR

      Catherine Simmons 

      6 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thank you Olde Cashmere :-)

      Uplifting people is what I love to do...especially those who feel the most downtrodden by life..

    • profile image

      Olde Cashmere 

      6 years ago

      Beautiful writing full of practical pointers we can all benefit from. I appreciate you writing a thoughtful and caring article for us. Your work is important in the uplifting of people across the world. Voted up, useful, awesome, and beautiful (:

    • catsimmons profile imageAUTHOR

      Catherine Simmons 

      6 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thanks for your kind words Suzette, I hope everyone reading this feels a little more special afterwards :-D

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 

      6 years ago from Taos, NM

      What an inspiring and well written piece! I really enjoyed reading this and I agree with all you say. Everyone is worth it!!

    • catsimmons profile imageAUTHOR

      Catherine Simmons 

      6 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thanks for your comment Injured lamb.

      Enjoy the journey :-)

    • Injured lamb profile image

      Injured lamb 

      6 years ago

      Agree with you Catherine, especially this...everyone is worth it! Thanks for the blessed and take care...

    • catsimmons profile imageAUTHOR

      Catherine Simmons 

      6 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thanks Fennelseed :-)

      I've found that Emotional Freedom Techniques (AKA EFT or "Tapping") are amazing for helping to let go of limiting beliefs and past traumas, and now I'm a practitioner myself I'm able to facilitate this process with others; it's very rewarding.

    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 

      6 years ago from Australia

      There are some very useful tips here and relevant information on boosting self esteem. I like how you say that we are often pressured into conforming to standards. Trying to live within rigid standards can be stiffling, however the hard part is believing in yourself enough to break free of expectations and to just be yourself. Lots of great information, thank you. My votes and best wishes to you and sharing!!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)