ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Increase Self-Confidence

Updated on April 20, 2012

Sometimes it's hard for us to feel confident.

We might feel that we have a small, or insignificant part to play in the world.

This makes it hard for us to speak up for ourselves, or take part in society in a way we would like to.

I had a little tea party
This afternoon at three.
'Twas very small-
Three guests in all-
Just I, myself and me.

Myself ate all the sandwiches,
While I drank up the tea;
'Twas also I who ate the pie
And passed the cake to me.

-Jessica Nelson North

Your best Friend within

Who is the person who is always be with you?

The one person who will never leave you?

That person is YOU !!!

It's time to make friends with yourself...

Take time to get to know YOU

Everyone is different, and everyone has unique gifts and preferences.

When you find out what your unique qualities are then you can begin to find out where you fit into the world.

Because of the way that society is these days, we are pressured to conform or live to standards that are set for us by our parents, our schools, our work and even our friends. If we don't live up to their expectations then we think that we're not good enough or not valuable enough. This limiting belief can set us up for things like depression and other issues that make us feel unhappy and affect our quality of life.

What if we decided to question these standards and instead measure ourselves against how true we are to ourselves. We are all made differently and we all have a special place in the universe.

There are many useful tools we can use to find out who we are and what our precious gifts are. Some of them we now instinctively and some we can find out using online quizzes, or the kind of assessments that human resources professionals or psychology majors use. This is not a way to criticize ourselves but a way to determine our true path.

When we take time to think about our preferences and learn about ourselves this also

If we treat ourselves with compassion and unconditional love ( yes I said LOVE) then we will find that others will begin to treat us with kindness too. When we appreciate ourselves as we are then others will also thank us for being who we are. A great side-effect of this is that we become less critical of others during the process.

"Life is to be fortified with many friendships

To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence"

-Sydney Smith

Hang out with people who really care about You

You always have the choice over who your friends are - so make GOOD choices.

Choose people who help you to feel uplifted and support you.

If you don't feel confident to go out and make friends then join a group of people with similar interest or hobbies. There is a good chance that you will find others who feel the same way as you and are looking for friends too.

As humans we are built to be social and when we don't have other people around us then we always notice that something is missing. Even just having coffee with friends will lift us when we feel our confidence is falling.

Practice gratitude and forgiveness...

These may seem like strange ways to develop self-confidence but when we are grateful for what we have and forgiving or others, and of ourselves, then we bring a calm strength to the core of our lives on which we can build.

There are many ways in which we can do this. Some people find classical spiritual routes and others are more "new age" in their approach. There is no wrong way to do this.

It has been proven that by letting go of negative emotions like remorse, regret, guilt, and anger we can greatly improve our quality of life.

Balanced emotions are a great basis for improving self-confidence, when we have a positive outlook we become less afraid of what might happen to us.

Ask for help

At some time or other we all have difficulty asking for help.

Confidence can be built in conjunction with many supportive agencies here are some examples:

  • Employers and educators help us by providing new skills.
  • Counsellors can help by providing us with advice.
  • Life coaches can help us to help ourselves and hold us accountable for our own decisions.
  • Energy psychologists can clear events from our past that are holding us back.

No matter how afraid we feel, taking that first step towards asking for help can become a giant leap in our level of self-confidence.

Take time for yourself

Take time for yourself, to find out who you are and what you need to become the best You that You can be.

EVERYONE is worth it!!!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • catsimmons profile image

      Catherine Simmons 5 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thanks Liz, glad you enjoyed it!

    • Liz Lilith profile image

      Liz Lilith 5 years ago from Florida, USA

      Loved this article! You're so spot on! Voted up :)

    • catsimmons profile image

      Catherine Simmons 5 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thank you Olde Cashmere :-)

      Uplifting people is what I love to do...especially those who feel the most downtrodden by life..

    • Olde Cashmere profile image

      Olde Cashmere 5 years ago from Michigan, United States

      Beautiful writing full of practical pointers we can all benefit from. I appreciate you writing a thoughtful and caring article for us. Your work is important in the uplifting of people across the world. Voted up, useful, awesome, and beautiful (:

    • catsimmons profile image

      Catherine Simmons 5 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thanks for your kind words Suzette, I hope everyone reading this feels a little more special afterwards :-D

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 5 years ago from Taos, NM

      What an inspiring and well written piece! I really enjoyed reading this and I agree with all you say. Everyone is worth it!!

    • catsimmons profile image

      Catherine Simmons 5 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thanks for your comment Injured lamb.

      Enjoy the journey :-)

    • Injured lamb profile image

      Injured lamb 5 years ago

      Agree with you Catherine, especially this...everyone is worth it! Thanks for the blessed and take care...

    • catsimmons profile image

      Catherine Simmons 5 years ago from Mission BC Canada

      Thanks Fennelseed :-)

      I've found that Emotional Freedom Techniques (AKA EFT or "Tapping") are amazing for helping to let go of limiting beliefs and past traumas, and now I'm a practitioner myself I'm able to facilitate this process with others; it's very rewarding.

    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 5 years ago from Australia

      There are some very useful tips here and relevant information on boosting self esteem. I like how you say that we are often pressured into conforming to standards. Trying to live within rigid standards can be stiffling, however the hard part is believing in yourself enough to break free of expectations and to just be yourself. Lots of great information, thank you. My votes and best wishes to you and sharing!!