ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Maintain your Mental Health After Rejection

Updated on February 5, 2019
Suzette-Annan profile image

Suzette Annan is freelance health writer and certified personal trainer with years of experience working in mental health.

No one walking this earth can go through life without getting rejected. There will be jobs that you don't get, crushes that just don't feel the same way, and phone calls that never get returned. We all have to deal with rejection, but that doesn't stop it from hurting. The way you handle it is the difference between keeping your mental health and self-esteem in tact or in tatters. Here are some ways to deal with it.

It's natural for rejection to get us down
It's natural for rejection to get us down

Not everyone will like you and that's ok.

Don't dwell on it...

So it's been two weeks and you haven't heard back from that job interview. You thought it went really well, but now you're starting to panic. You replay it in your mind over and over again, and wonder what you did wrong?

It’s hard not to take things personally, but you may have done nothing wrong. There just might have been a candidate that scored slightly better than you so they gave them the job. Request some feedback (good employers should always offer it) and move forward.

Learn from it...

Sometimes rejections indicate that there is something about us that rubs people the wrong way. People who I now consider friends have told me that they didn't like me when we first met. I was puzzled as to why? They told me that I came across as cold and a bit arrogant because I didn't smile much and said very little. When we got to know each other better they told me that they were surprised that I'm actually a nice person.

I used their feedback to make an effort to smile more around new people so that I don't continue to give off a bad impression. I'm not saying to completely alter your personality for people to like you It’s just helpful to take on board the opinions of the people you trust, and whose opinion you value to improve yourself.

Beating yourself up over it is counter productive. It wastes so much energy that could be putting into something that benefits you instead of breaking you down. Give yourself a time limit on dwelling, and then get busy doing what you have to do.

Acknowledge that not everyone will like you...

It's impossible to be liked by everyone because we all have our preferences. Some people like mangoes and some people like apples. You could be the sweetest, juiciest mango, but the person that likes the apple will still go for the apple. That doesn't make the mango bad; it just wasn't to their particular taste.

When someone rejects you try not to take it personally and simply conclude that you just weren't compatible. There are 7 billion on the planet so the odds are that you will meet someone that you click with. Also ask yourself whether you like everyone? The answer is probably no.

Surround yourself with the people that love you

Rejection can do a lot of damage to self-esteem as it is easy to internalize it as not being good enough. We are a tribal and species after all. In our hunter gatherer days rejection from the tribe would result in starvation or being dinner of a saber-toothed tiger, so it’s natural to feel bad. Spending time with your tribe can give you back the sense of belonging that we all need.

Meet up with some good friends and let them know how you're feeling. When they remind you of how great you are and how much they love you, you will feel a whole lot better.

Be compassionate with yourself

Rejection is really tough. You have just been turned down for something or by someone that you really wanted, so of course it is going to hurt. Accept that you feel disappointed, angry and upset and be kind to yourself. It is OK to feel this way, what is not OK is punishing yourself for not getting the outcome that you wanted.

If you need to cry or vent to your best friend go on and do it, so you can get it out of you. It is damaging to hold onto negative emotions so get rid of them so you can feel better.

At a time like this it is important to practice self-care, whatever that is for you. It could be meditation, a nice hot bath, a jog or your favourite meal. You need to take the time to look after yourself because you matter - simple as that.

Be proud of your courage

So many people don't even try to improve their lives because they are so afraid of rejection. They stay in jobs that they hate, or in relationships that aren't working because the thought of putting themselves out there terrifies them.

You have shown that you are brave enough to go and make things happen. This takes a huge amount of courage and for that you should be proud of yourself. Colonel Sanders was rejected 1009 times before KFC became a household name. All the naysayers must have got him down, but he made the decision to carry on anyway, and found massive success.

Don't doubt yourself...

The worst think you can do is let rejection completely knock your confidence. When we lose confidence our beliefs about ourselves can change for the worse. This can trigger mental health problems like depression and anxiety and you don't want to go down that road.

What you believe creates your reality, so don't let someone telling you that you're not what they're looking for make you feel bad about yourself and damage your self-worth.

When you begin to doubt yourself eventually you stop going after what you want, because you no longer believe that you can get. Confidence is the key to a successful, happy life and no one should have the power to take it away from you.

So what if you got passed over for a promotion, or that hot guy or girl turned you down for a date. This does not mean that you're not good enough. Keep believing in yourself and keep trying.

© 2019 Suzette-Annan


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)