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How to Optimize Around Negativity

Updated on February 4, 2015

How to Optimize Around Negativity

*Understanding Inner Conflicts in Others

*Tips on How to "Maintain Your Cool"

*Overpowering Words with Actions

*Avoiding Conflict and Earning Good Recognition

Every Dog Has His Day

Stress happens to be one of the BIGGEST thoughts in our minds. Our stresses tend to be categorized into three forms:

  • Emotional Stress-- This one pertains to what people are feeling about a range of things that could be personally or socially involved.
  • Financial Stress-- Finances can cause an impact on nearly everyone, especially when they have a set income with multiple bills to concern themselves with.
  • Physical Stress-- Any stress that others place upon them, relating from bullying and harassment to unintentional emotional abuse.

Keeping in mind that we've all been there can not only help you understand how your peers feel, but it can also help you brush off the negative tensions around you. Situations could tend to become difficult for you to keep on smiling, but don't give up when it's your turn to continue in this "relay race" of negative reactions. Avoiding the "need" to pass on that negative feeling CAN be accomplished by identifying the type of stress your peer is encountering and transforming their frown to a smile. As the receiving end, we may be in more of a challenging situation than we may think. After all, we are not mind readers. Offer your ear to listen to them. You'll be surprised to see the amount of tension dissipating from their negative energies, as you both feel more ease to speak with a smile.

You Can Only Take So Much!

If you wound up creating a conflict with the person who carried the negative energy, remember, we are all human, we are all bound to make mistakes, and we can also apologize. Take a deep breath and take a moment to remain calm. If the person is still arguing, let them, for now. Your task is to listen to your body, before opening your mouth to speak anything else. Bypass your current frustrations and listen to what they are saying, until you feel you have at least SOME understanding with your negative situations. By then, your arguing peer may realize you are calm and relax, themselves.

Say what you need to say about the subject behind the negativity in a calm, sincere response, work out a compromise in a gentle manner, and smile when a decision is made, even if it's not entirely your opinion that makes the most sense. A smile is like politely saying: "I'm glad we had this conversation. Have a nice day," without worrying about the conflicts carrying on further than they really need to.

What to Say??

Most tend to feel a need to say something when they feel that negative energy is directed their way. Before saying anything, take a deep breath and apologize with a smile. You will find the situation in your favor, most of the time, The person throwing you off may start to feel awkward about their actions and may either walk away, hang up, or continue complaining. Your next action, however, can hold different options. I would suggest evaluating each possible reply you could make or say before acting on them. Each reaction causes separate responses in others. Finding the right solution is then based entirely on "studying" the actions displayed before you.

Ask yourself these questions, while evaluating what the person before you is saying or doing, in order to find the most effective responses:

  • What is the objective of this conflict?
  • Is there a chance to request compromise?
  • How stacked is their anger in this situation, at the moment?
  • Is it safe to answer swift and blunt, or is there a need for more detail in explanation?


Reading your conflicting opponent's actions and abilities is a surefire way to help you determine the extent on how far your conflict could go.

Working Out the "Bugs..."

No matter what it could be about, no matter where it even starts, we are still faced with a conflict that is bound to reflect your positive thoughts. How can we avoid conflict, if the situation of negativity is already stacked upon us? The keys are to remain calm during the tense times and to avoid releasing your own negative energy in any way that could cause even more tension. But things have been said that you have opinions for, and you feel you must speak your mind, right? If you want to compromise and calm things down, then absolutely not!

Your first goal is to calm the arguing side down, so that you can both talk about situations that could make things a bit easier for each other. Whether it is done by staying calm and biting your tongue against any hurtful things said towards you, or simply done by saying something funny, the arguing side will find a chance to see that you are not intending to fight them. Some methods may also take longer than most, but these techniques simply show the other that you are only trying to help with the negative situations, rather than to hinder them.

Once the yelling and interrupting stops, it's time to work out a compromise to the situation that you both can agree on. Once a plan is made for the long run, keep a personal note on what can be done, in order to prevent the conflict from happening again, the same way that it's happened now. Part of ending the conflict is, of course, caused by communication, but now that there's a commitment, you AND the other party are both responsible for holding to their commitment in preventing the same situation from repeating itself.

On that note, if you say you will do something that involves preventing repetition, then do it. There's a huge difference between saying you will do something and actually DOING it...

Getting to Know You

Although most don't think of it, how you react within a conflict is but another chance for others to get to know more about you. If you want to maintain a good name and well-being, you're going to have to learn how to keep your tone and manners at all times, including these moments when the heat is rising. Remember to keep yourself calm, and you are already well on your way in keeping your name in good recognition.

It a moment comes when you fail, have no fear about it. Just learn from your mistakes and you'll be able to find out what to do for the next time...


Next Entry: Meditation

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