How to Overcome in a Kickass way with the power of Positive Thinking
In today’s world, we can easily live our lives not fully enjoying it and feeling as though we are in a rut. Do you wake up thinking you’re stuck and that you will never accomplish the things that truly make you happy? Perhaps your negative thoughts, past experiences, and self-doubts are running your life, which can be blocking you from what you really desire. Trust me, I know from my own personal experiences - I used to think this way about myself too. It’s time to make a choice to create and rewrite the life you are fully capable of having. One that will make you want to smile each day and be excited to wake up and be ready to Kick Ass!
Having experience with abusive relationships has led me to live in self-pity; being a victim living with limits. Instead, at any given time I can change my way of thinking and start creating a new reality for myself that I was actually excited about. Let me tell you how much more I love and appreciate my life! I'm going to show you how to create a happier, more fulfilling reality for yourself. One that will make you wonder why you let yourself think such negative thoughts as often as you did, instead of focusing on your HAPPINESS and going after what you want. I spent many years letting my past block me from getting where I wanted to be, until I decided I wanted to be in control of my own happiness.
Stop resisting, do NOT waste another minute of wondering how you can have a happier life, the one you know you are meant to live! Take the first step towards improving your life by learning through my own stories; it’s waiting for you just a read away! Let me guide you to how I got myself to a better, happier place that makes me want to Kick Ass every single day and live a new lifestyle! What are you waiting for? Let’s get happy and start Kicking Ass already!
Timing is Everything
A day before my 29th birthday I went and had a nice dinner at one of my favorite places in downtown Salt Lake City called “Eva.” I love this place because of its small rustic vibe with twilights hanging above the tables, making you feel like you’re at a little café in Europe. My best friend Libby and I sat on the back patio, where we ordered our food, glasses of merlot, and started chitchatting on what was new with us. Since we were there to celebrate my birthday, Libby handed me my present…a book, called by Jen Sincero. I would soon find out that book was going to change my way of thinking and, more importantly, my life forever. “You are a Badass”
Throughout most of my life, I have had self-doubt and thought my abusive past owned me. I believed I would always suffer when it came to relationships, never finding happiness and enjoying life. I remember one evening saying to a friend over the phone, “I’m never going to have much, it just isn’t in the cards for me.” NOW knowing what I know…that is the worst train of thought I could have!! Why was I saying such negative things about myself? I was telling myself and everyone around me…that I didn’t deserve more. Guess what, I am and so are you! What I’m learning is you can throw out the old manuscript of your life that isn’t working and rewrite your story - creating something bigger and better that you can truly enjoy. One quote that has stuck with me is “Decide what you want. Believe that you’ll get it. Live as if you already have it.” - ThinkGrowProsper. That is what I'm doing; I'm taking charge of my life and making it one amazing experience. Things won't change for us unless we do the changing.
I took the day of my actual 29th birthday off from work to enjoy myself and to do whatever it was my little self wanted to do. At one point during my day I sat down on my couch and decided to give reading the book a shot…immediately I connected with the words. For the next week, I couldn’t put the book down! Page after page, I became more connected and my mind started to open up; I felt I was stepping into a new world. I was learning we are in control of making our own happiness, just by being more conscious that we are the creator of our reality. This is what I mean by timing is everything. If Libby had given me this book a year ago I might not have had my “AHA!” moment which changed my perspective on life. I hope we all can have that epiphany moment when things click and we realize life can be AMAZING! I believe there were other times in my life when the universe tried knocking on my brain to open up but the timing wasn’t right. The timing wasn’t right because I wasn’t ready to listen or to change. I’m sure you have experienced this with certain things in your own life. In order for things to match with timing we have to rewire our thinking and actions. We can choose to create a life that we actually enjoy. At times, we get caught up in the world, friends, family, and work; we get stuck in how they think we should live our lives. So we stay in a routine or a lifestyle that feels unfulfilling or empty, but we have the power to change that in any given moment. I feel like I’ve been looking through a telescope but only pointing it in one direction, seeing the same things day in and day out. Now I’m learning I can move it side to side or up and down - seeing a whole new angle on life!
Once I was Blind
Okay, so now I’m feeling happy and inspired as if I found this awesome, simple secret that I can’t believe I haven’t known about until now! So now what? I think to myself, “I can’t lose this idea that I can create a life I’ve always desired and wanted to live, which is a HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY FULFILLING life.” But before I go into what I do on a daily basis to help me stay connected with the universe and my positive thoughts, I’m going to take you through my past and what may have blocked me from understanding that we do not have to live life in misery.
I have a history of abuse. My first encounter I will lightly discuss, when I was between the ages of fifteen or sixteen I was raped by someone I went to high school with. A lot was going on during that time with family, trying to fit in with my peers at school, and now my very own personal self. I felt alone, like I couldn’t talk to anyone. After that incident I became angry, closed off, confused and started to act out. I suddenly felt as if no one could relate to me, I felt like I was a walking around with a huge scar that I had to hide. I became merely a body wandering around ticked off. I shifted from being a teenager enjoying new experiences to a body that felt alone and lived in survival mode. My mind became full of darkness; I went into a depression, telling myself I would struggle. Since I believed in these negative thoughts about myself, it showed through my actions with everything I did. It’s easy to keep feeding the beast of negative thoughts when you believe in them. I gave up hobbies that I truly enjoyed, such as dancing and cheerleading. Relationships with loved ones began to suffer. I had started to create a zombie-like life for myself. I was no longer going after things I was capable of accomplishing. I lost excitement for life and moved from day-to-day feeling unhappy with no real sense of direction. This way of life went well into my young adulthood.
When things happen to us we have a choice of how we can react to something; this I know to be true. We have a choice to either let these situations help us grow or to hold us back. Whichever one we decide to pick it will impact our day-to-day life and most importantly if we are creating our happy life. I have lived in both – a closed mind, feeling sorry for myself to being in control of my happiness and seeing how exciting life can be. Being on the happier, perseverant side of life makes me grateful I never gave up on myself. There is so much good to experience. Life can be wonderful and amazing if we let it. Without a doubt being in control of my happiness is the way to live and it’s not hard to get to if you follow the simple steps of positive thinking.
This brings me to my second encounter with abuse. I was walking around in survival mode, unhappy, living in self-doubt, not knowing who I truly was and that I could create a HAPPY life. I was a very closed off person. There was only a handful of close friends that I allowed in. Little did I know my angry little self was attracting misery and about to attract someone that was not going to be good for me. Not being very confident and being unhappy sent out the wrong signals, like “HELLO I’M A VICTIM, come take advantage because hell, life is hard and this is life…right?” WRONG, it doesn’t have to be! Every situation doesn’t have to be that hard. If I had only known I could make an easier life with just thinking positive. If I didn’t depend on someone else I wouldn’t have attracted such a toxic person, who ended up filling my head with putdowns and destructive words. Talk about the Law of Attraction and how true it is. When I met this person I was at a low place with myself and was looking for someone to accept me. I remember sharing my struggles with this person thinking it would help me heal; instead, it did the complete opposite. Every struggle I confined in this person was only used against me with his hurtful words. I wanted to believe this person would only say these hurtful words one time, so I stayed and ignored the red flags. Since I allowed him to call me names, the words only became worse with bigger digs. Luckily, my intuition about this person and a few precarious situations that occurred made me realize that I had to quickly remove myself from this relationship. Listening to my intuition and seeing this way of life was not okay. Luckily, I didn’t let this go on for years, which today I’m grateful for. Listening to that “GUT feeling” has been a lifesaver when I take the time to listen. If you ever find yourself in an unhealthy situation get out as quickly as you can. Do not let the idea that handling things on your own is worse. If you have told yourself this and believed it, then you’re only hurting yourself more. No matter what the situation is you cannot let fear or the unknown control you. I didn’t know at the time I have the choice to take control over my life. I’m learning now that YOU and I can rewrite and create the life that we are excited and proud to wake up to! HOW AMAZING is that?
Having encountered these situations with abuse, I spent more time than I should have in the “VIP Negative Lounge.” I lived in negative thinking...blaming others for my struggles and worst of all living life as a victim instead of taking control over my self-worth and my happiness. I think for myself I thought it was easier to not deal with things, to be angry, and to live in survival mode. I would close people off and sit in self-pity. I would let the negative thinking become deeper and deeper. I thought that was the only way to live life. Blaming others or shutting people out will not make you happier or help you grow; it will block you from the happiness that we all want to have in our daily lives. You could also miss out on great relationships with people that do love you if you keep building a wall of negativity.
Which leads me to my next story, like I mentioned earlier I was a closed off person. I taught myself to show little emotion to others; only sharing basic information. I never wanted to expose myself because I feared others would not understand or would judge me. Since I was letting fear run my life, I kept to myself. I would never ask for help, even if it was as simple as getting a ride home from work. I thought I was making my life easier this way, but I quickly learned I could not live with a wall up. Once I found myself in destructive situations with the toxic relationship I was in, I knew keeping to myself wasn’t going to make my life easier. I was creating more of a dangerous space and cutting myself off from people and positive influences that I deeply needed. I knew I had to push fear aside and reach out to people I loved to help me get out of this relationship and back into a life I knew I deserved. When I look back, I often wonder where I would be if I didn’t reach out and ask for help. I’m grateful I didn’t let my life spin more out of control than it did, and I truly feel lucky that I get another chance at creating a more meaningful life for myself.
This experience taught me to let others in, to ask for help and most of all do not let fear block you. Now that I have chosen to let others in, more opportunities have crossed my path. We are made to connect and to be open so we can grow and learn from one another. Life is MUCH easier and more enjoyable when others are in it! I’m learning new things every day by letting people in and let me tell you, not only is it a GREAT thing, it's a comforting thing to have these relationships. Since I have made a decision on making each day a better and brighter, happier day, life has become a whole new world I get to explore. I feel more confident of who I am and where I am going with my journey. Now don’t get me wrong, I still have days when I don’t feel as strong as others. The key is to not wallow in negative thoughts for long, and to keep moving forward. Less often I have my moments when my past creeps into my thoughts. Instead of letting these thoughts take up space and spin out of control, I acknowledge them, then ask myself why is this coming up? I quickly move on, giving myself a little pep talk reminding me how far I’ve come and how grateful I am, and then I let the thought go. I recommend giving yourself a pep talk whenever you need it - maybe to get to the gym, to get through a huge meeting, or before having a talk with someone. I challenge you to push yourself with positivity and see how much more you will enjoy your day, yourself, and others. “Grateful for where I’m at, excited to see where I’m going.”-ThinkGrowProsper
Through these new learning experiences I was having, I immediately got excited about this way of thinking and I worried I would lose this new uplifting knowledge! But I realized that’s just crazy talk if you make it a lifestyle you won’t lose it! WHALA! I started living this new way immediately; I was ready to be connected with my wants and desires and wasted no time getting my mind there. Like any other change you make it will take practice. For instance, think about athletes, what do they need to do to improve or get to the next level? They usually have longer workouts and strict diets to improve their ability. Is one longer workout or eating a clean meal for only one day going to cut it? Most likely no...athletes have to completely change their routines and practice week after week to keep in physical shape so they can be the best they can in their performance. It works the same way with being more connected with your thoughts. Our brains are our biggest tool to get what we want out of life we just have to learn how to use it to our benefit and not against us. We need to practice being aware of our thoughts so we can guide ourselves in the right direction. Ask yourself, are my thoughts positive? Do they build others and me up? Do my thoughts push me in the right direction? The more we become aware of our thoughts and actions the more it will become your new way of life, but we have to practice this daily to stay connected.
I will share some ways with you that help me stay connected with positive thinking, and which help me believe I can have the life I’ve always dreamt. Soon YOU can too by using these tools. One of the first things I do when I wake up is to say “I’m going to kick ass today,” then I believe that I will and dress the part. Taking care of your appearance and dressing with care, to show that you want to OWN the day, will help you get in the mindset of kicking ass and feeling confident. During my extra time in the morning on my daily commute to work I like to pick a relaxing station to listen to, perhaps a yoga channel. It helps me get centered for the day that lies ahead. I will also turn to yoga music anytime I feel stressed out and need to zone out for a minute or to gather myself together. During that time, I also like to say thank you to the universe for hearing me and guiding me on my HAPPY quest.
Another thing I do is to say a couple of affirmations throughout the day; it helps me to keep thinking positive and keeps me moving towards my goals, wants, and desires. One of the affirmations I like to say I got from Jen Sincero's book It is "I deserve all good the universe has to offer.” Another one is “I’m one with the universe, the universe is awesome and so am I.” Saying these words repeatedly have helped me focus on good thoughts, instead of negative ones that we can easily hang on to. Saying these affirmations helps me to clear out the chatter around me and clear my mind. “You are Badass.”
One other VERY important thing I like to do every day is to write my gratitude’s. Gratitude’s are anything you are grateful for; it can be something big or small. As one example, I often find myself writing that I am grateful for having a roof over my head. Like I said it can be whatever we are grateful for. It doesn’t matter when, where, or how many times you do this, just do it and you will see things are pretty great! Putting out that high vibration of good energy will have it come back in one huge circle. A high vibration is everything in the universe that moves and vibrates. Everything around you is vibrating at one frequency or another and so are we. I write everything I’m grateful for down at night in my journal so I can reflect on my day. If I get really excited and can’t wait, I will even use the notes app on my phone. I’m telling you, it is an easy thing to do! The more I do this the more my list continues to grow. We can rewire our brains by writing at least one thing we are grateful once a day for at least thirty days. I have become aware of my surroundings and the people in my life. I can easily see how much love and support I have. There are days when I think I won’t be able to think of things I’m grateful for. Interesting enough, in the end I always have plenty to write down. That’s why it’s important to do this daily to get our minds into the routine of seeing the GREAT things in our lives. Not only does it help me see how grateful I am for all of these AWESOME things, but noticing my gratitude also sets a HAPPY fire of wanting to give back to others that I love. It is not happy people who are thankful; it is thankful people who are happy.
There are many different ways to keep practicing and staying connected with positive thinking, though my favorite is writing in my journal. Journals can be a great place to let all your thoughts out, connect with yourself, and is also a creative space for you to let loose! There are days I write about what I did and how I felt. Other days I write down my goals, wants, and desires in order to really ask the universe to help me get to where I want to be. You know that saying, “ask and you shall receive?” That’s what I do! I become clear on what I need help with and I ask away. I do this with any situation in my life where I’m not sure how to handle something. Why not ask, right? I have often seen results with this. Journals can even be a place where you need to vent out that awful Monday you had. Vent out those problems and let those feelings go. Journals can be used in any way you see fit!
Get this! I was practicing the ‘ask and you shall receive’ theory way before I knew the power of this truth. I can now glance back on my path and see that I've been doing this throughout my whole existence and I'm assuming you have too, not realizing it. I can recall two times in my life where I had envisioned what and where my apartments were going to be. I knew exactly what I was looking for, an apartment that I could afford and would fit with my personality. I wanted a loft with big windows to be able to see the downtown and somewhere that was near the city train station. Looking back, now I can see both places were planted in my subconscious. What I mean by this is I can remember passing by these apartments thinking, "one day I will live downtown in one of these places.” Ironically enough I ended up living at both places during different times and somehow I made my income work with it. The first apartment was located right downtown above the outdoor mall. It was one bedroom with a walk-in closet that had big windows and made my young twenty-year-old self feel like I was living like Carrie Bradshaw from “Sex and the City.” The second apartment was still downtown but this one was located only two minutes away from the train station, how perfect! It had two big windows where I could look out and see the city and the trains passing by. I loved this loft-style apartment with high ceilings. I loved the layout and that I could look out from my bedroom down into my living room. YOU may call this lucky but I see this as a moment where my vibration was high and then it escalated my determination. Nonetheless, the universe keeps showing up to help and to Kick Ass with us. We just need to participate by asking and truly believing. Putting what I want out there as often as I have can get me pumped and focused. Journals can even be a place where you need to vent out that awful Monday you had. Vent out those problems and let those feelings go. Journals can be used in any way you see fit!