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How to Stay Positive around Negative People

Updated on June 19, 2013
Don't let others dictate what type of day you're going to have.
Don't let others dictate what type of day you're going to have. | Source

Some people are lucky, they're born positive with a cheerful outlook on life and always see the best in each situation. These people, I believe are truly blessed.

Then there are other people who need to work at it, people who aren't completely negative, but who are slowly learning how to see the good in various situations every day. They try to do small things to feel inspired and happy - even if it's as simple as starting off their day by reading a few inspirational quotes.

This is an art form, it isn't easy - and it takes practice every minute of every hour, and every hour of every day.

I'm one of those people. I'm not negative by nature, but up until recently I tended to worry a lot, get stressed out over the smallest of things, and feel as though the world was judging me. I always assumed the worst in people, and I think because of all of the negative vibes around me - I attracted a lot of it back.

I'm not sure what exactly made me have a light bulb moment, but earlier this year I decided two things:

  1. I didn't want to spend my life worrying or feeling negative about silly things
  2. I didn't want to look back on my life one day and regret everything I missed out on for feeling that way

I won't lie to you - this type of thinking is a daily practice for me. Sometimes I have to stop myself in the middle of a thought or as I'm about to say something, and ask myself if this is the type of person I want to be. I am happier with my life today, more so than I have ever been. It has nothing to do with materialistic things, and all to do with my state of mind.

This reminds me of one of my favourite songs - Empire State of Mind - Alecia Keys.

Isn't life just about following your dreams?

Do you really want to be as negative as what they are?
Do you really want to be as negative as what they are? | Source

Tips to Dealing with a Negative Person

  1. Don't judge or assume the worst. There might be an underlying issue that they are working through. Try approaching them from a positive angle, they might surprise you.
  2. Walk away. When you feel that there is too much negativity around one person, it's best to just walk away from it.
  3. Don't react. People tend to gravitate towards others who react emotionally to their complaints. It's hard, but it's best to try and be as unemotional and detached as possible if you're listening to them - even if it's only for a short while. The more emotionally you react, the more likely it is that they'll keep coming to you as a means to offload.
  4. Don't get into an argument. Negative people enjoy arguing and find it difficult to look at situations from other points of view. If the conversation gets too heated, just let it be and walk away. There's no point in trying to reason with a very negative person at this point.
  5. Empathize. Some people really are just crying out for help. Offer to listen and give advice if they are prepared to listen to what you have to say and take to heart any advice you may offer.
  6. Ignore their complaints. When they start complaining, instead of reacting to what they're saying, just say "Ok" and move onto another conversation topic. They'll get the message loud and clear that you're not interested in hearing their moaning.

Running into Brick Walls

I like to refer to negative people as brick walls because they're so stubborn and sometimes they hurt like crazy when you run into them.

They're pretty hard to avoid, yet they're everywhere.

Dealing with negative people isn't easy. Especially when you're a positive person, or if you're like me and have just recently decided to change your entire outlook on life and live in a happier state of mind.

So, what type of brick walls do you run into every day?

These are my two brick walls at the moment:

Grumpy Colleagues

Maybe you get to work early, you're in a fabulous mood because you've either had your early morning workout, or you've eaten a great breakfast and you're all ready for the day ahead. And then what happens? Negative brick wall walks in, all grumpy because they're tired or had a fight with their partner.

Don't get me wrong - everyone is entitled to their off days. But coming in to work everyday feeling tired and grumpy? Really? If this happens to you, don't let their bad mood affect your good mood for the day. When this happens, I usually just try and have some friendly conversation with them to lift their mood. Otherwise, if this doesn't work - I get off my chair, make myself a cup of good coffee (or tea), have a look at the view outside (you can browse a picture on your computer if you don't have something to look at outside), and then I just get lost in my work and forget all about the other person that's having a bad day.

There's no need or point to letting someone else's bad mood rain on your parade.

Negative Family or Friends

Ignoring a colleague is one thing, but ignoring your family is quite another. Personally, I don't really associate with negative people as friends anymore. I just feel that life is too short, and I don't want to be around people like that if I have the choice.

I can't do the same with my family though - you don't choose your family. If you have family members who complain and moan about the small things in life, I suggest just letting it go, like water running off a duck's back. That is, if you're like me and you've tried everything humanly possible to get them to see the good in life, to enjoy doing things and to have fun - but it hasn't made any difference. Sadly, I've learnt that my family is never going to change. I love them, and it doesn't mean that I'll stop visiting or phoning them - it just means that it won't be as often as what it used to be.

Everyone deserves to have a sounding board, and families are supposed to be there for each other for this. But when it's almost every conversation that starts with something negative then I'm sorry, I cut the conversation short, or change the topic immediately.

You shouldn't let someone else's negative outlook on life change what you are working so hard to avoid.


How Do Negative People Affect You?

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Final Thoughts...

My advice for dealing with negative people is not to take what they say or do personally. They're unhappy with the way their life is going and they probably unconsciously don't realize the effect that it has on other people, but it does.

They're not happy in themselves and they're not happy with life. If you can avoid them, do so. If you can't and you've tried to help them see life for the better, or help them out in their circumstances but they still refuse to let go of all the negativity, then just let them be. There's nothing else you can do for them, except offer an ear for them to complain into.

But it's up to you how often you do this, and how much you allow them to bring you down with them.

More Hubs on Positivity and Feeling Good

The Author

Melanie Chisnall is a freelance writer from Cape Town, South Africa.

She is a firm believer in trying to maintain a positive outlook life, after many years of giving in to stress, anxiety and negativity. She practices yoga and meditation on a regular basis to keep focused and happy, and is a firm believer in karma.

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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I actually wrote about this subject. You have handled it well with good suggestions. Life is too short to be dragged down into the negative muck of others.

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @billybuc - Couldn't agree with you more. You are an inspiration to all wanting to live a positive and happy life, in fact your hub on letting go of a life that wasn't working is one of the main reasons I'm a much happier and more positive person today! :)

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      MelChi, you make me happy with your words. Writing has always been an expression of emotion for me; I spent too many years locked in a negative dungeon of my own making. I now embrace life.....and I love your message. If I have helped in any way then it is I who am grateful.

    • DreamerMeg profile image

      DreamerMeg 4 years ago from Northern Ireland

      This is a very useful hub and you have made some good points. It struck me one day, when in the daily crawl to work that was the point where two lanes of traffic merged into one, that I was allowing someone else's attitude to affect me for the rest of the day. If they had forced their way into the lane of traffic in front of me, I felt angry. Note: they did not MAKE me angry, I was choosing to be angry. Once I realised that, I ceased to get annoyed by the traffic and decided for myself how I wanted to feel about the rest of the day (positive :))I also started to let other cars in ahead of me in the traffic lane and no longer felt annoyed if more than one sneaked in!

    • jeanihess profile image

      jeanihess 4 years ago from Cape Town South Africa

      Everything passes hey- everything, even the things we don't want to admit do:)

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 4 years ago from Peru, South America

      Thank you for your honesty and helpful advice. I agree that it's most difficult to deal with negative people when they're your family members, but as you say we can limit the time we spend with them and then let their comments roll off our back. Awesome hub!

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @billybuc - "a negative dungeon of my own making" - this is so true! We all choose how positive and how negative we want to be every single day, the choice is ours entirely.

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @DreamerMeg - I can definitely relate to your driving experience and have felt the same way many times before, completely stressing myself out and ruining my day. And what for? Some idiot that's clearly having a worse day. I completely agree with you - we choose to be angry at other drivers, we don't have to be. I now also let the taxi drivers in (much to my husbands annoyance), but I'd rather not sweat about the small things! Thanks so much for commenting and sharing your experience. It's good to know there are other like minded drivers out there! :)

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @jeanihess - thanks for your comment! :) I have to say that in my personal experience, being negative doesn't pass unfortunately - it's a choice that needs to be made and stuck to. But, hopefully by more people being positive it will inspire the not so positive ones to change - even if only a little.

    • MelChi profile image
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      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @vespawoolf - family is definitely the most difficult to deal with when it comes to dealing with their negativity because you're so close to them, but at the end of the day - I need to think about what type of a family environment I want for my children one day, and that starts well before planning for a family. It starts with marriage, and it starts with yourself - who you are, and how you see life. Thanks for your comment! :)

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I vote this hub up and awesome. I will also share. Being positive is so important; life is short and we need to make the most of our days. There is not room for negative attitudes.

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      This is great and I will share this for you in all the good places!

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 4 years ago from Georgia

      Hello MelChi, I've heard a popular DJ in my area call negative people "energy vampires" which is just what they are. They will suck all the optimism and positive feelings right out of you. That's why we must be so careful who we associate with for overly long periods of time, even if it is family, who you may love and adore. Unfortunately, some of them can leave you feeling very drained. Good article.

    • profile image

      Starmom41 4 years ago

      this is a very interesting hub- accurate info- thanks for writing it!

    • cynthtggt profile image

      cynthtggt 4 years ago from New York, NY

      This is a very good hub. Although I do remember someone who spoke a lot of positivity; however, when it came down to who was negative, it was ususally she that projected it. Like if someone she was jealous of (and spoke about) reacted to her negative jealousy, she would say she did nothing and that the person was just grumpy and negative. She was totally in denial about what negativism was. Negative people do not bother me. they're great material for writing fiction and they frequently think a lot more deeply than the crowd. I voted up. Great hub.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. I have done so many positives. but negatives are always hiding to catch me off guard. That is why articles like yours are so important.

    • jeanihess profile image

      jeanihess 4 years ago from Cape Town South Africa

      Melchi:) Perhaps being negative does not simply pass; nothing simply passes unless it has a date line so to speak. For the rest one puts in the effort hey. One recognizes and acknowledges that some things pass because it is their nature to do so. One recognizes and acknowledges that other things pass because we can choose to let them pass... or hold on because of an earlier choice or conditioning.

      On a day perhaps one realizes that one's sense of responsibility and perfectionism is flawed- not even one's own perhaps, but instilled by long ago demands by a significant person- and had perverted one's sense of action and reward and that one had sacrificed joy and happiness for being recognized as serious and committed but no one actually knows just what one is serious about or committed to, nor benefit because it is to a ghost of the past that one is paying allegiance and its time is long gone.

      This is a moment of insight that brings about a passing; a change that makes other changes possible even if habit can be hard to battle:)

      For me personally when I am miserable I remember that all things pass, that my feelings and possibly even my perspective will change and that I help the change by writing, or walking, or finding some company or washing the dog...

      If it is someone else that is being negative and draining my energy, then for ME that will pass too. I can leave or I can actually tell the person how I experience him or her. On occasion I have served an ultimatum: come with a different approach or do not speak to me on this...

      or it sounds and feels as if you are somehow replying to someone else, relating to someone who is not here and so it does not help how I respond, it is not enough. Who was it that made demands on you that you could never meet and still try to meet? You are all grown up now; give yourself permission to be happy!

      Look at me; hear me. Respect me enough to respond to me. This is what I said. Could you reply to what I said?

      Once a guy burst out laughing after a third try and said: You are right you know- I was not responding to what YOU said but to all sorts of stuff triggered in my head and none of that actually came from you.

      But then MelChi:) I am not in a popularity contest and after I did the usual compassionate stuff I go this other route because all we ever have is the energy of the moment given by the last breath we took and we do not have guarantee of another.

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @ChristyWrites - You are so right, life is short and we don't need to waste time on negative people (or more than what we absolutely have to). Thanks for the comment and sharing - appreciate it! :)

      @Angela - Thank you so much! Appreciate your comment and sharing :)

      @Cyndi10 - I think your description of "energy vampires" is spot on, that's exactly what they are! And yes, ESPECIALLY negative family members tend to drain all the positive out of you if you're with them for too long. Sad, but true. Thanks for commenting!

      @starmom41 - Thanks for stopping by and for reading! :)

      @cynthtggt - That's a great way of looking at negative people - good material for writing fiction - I'll keep that in mind! Thanks for your thoughts and comments :)

      @Mhatter99 - Unfortunately negativity and negative people are everywhere - we can't escape them, but we can try and let them not bother us so much and just enjoy our lives as much as possible without letting them sap us of energy. Thanks for reading :)

      @jeanihess - Thank you very much for your comment, I appreciate what you are trying to convey and you have a very intuitive way about your words. You are right, I did write this hub with specific people in mind - but I also wrote it on a broad spectrum, knowing that there are many people out there who try and be positive but who have negative people to deal with on a daily basis, draining them of energy. It's how we respond to it that matters and I love the examples that you've given - it truly conveys who you are as a person and that you have boundaries. I think I will put into practice the approach that you have used here to illustrate your story. Thanks for sharing this, I appreciate it :)

    • alipuckett profile image

      alipuckett 4 years ago

      This article really speaks to me. I feel very much the way you do. I'm a pretty positive person, and I want to surround myself with others who think the same, but it's hard because you can't always pick those people. The part I struggle with is not taking it personally. I'm like a sponge. I absorb everyone's emotions around me. I'm still trying to work on that, and it's a daily battle.

    • Lightshare profile image

      Lightshare 4 years ago

      Thank you MelChi, U r spreading ur goodness.

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @alipuckett - I understand what you mean, I'm quite a sensitive person myself and also absorb a lot of emotions from other people. But, we need to move away from that as soon as it starts - even if you just walk to the other side of the room and do something else, or change the subject as soon as the conversation starts going in a negative direction. If you think about it, these people are crying out for help, but at the same time they are draining the life out of us. We are giving them permission to do so, and to take control over our lives. And I for one don't want to live like that. It is still a daily battle with me too. Here's to working together on it - it does get easier with time and before you know it, it will be like second nature! :) Thanks for your comment!

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @Lightshare - Yes to spreading the positive vibes! Thanks for commenting! :)

    • yoginijoy profile image

      yoginijoy 4 years ago from Mid-Atlantic, USA

      Hi MelChi, I have a colleague who is super negative ALL the time. She is always complaining. At lunch time a few years ago I asked her if she would speak only about happy topics while we were eating. She was flabbergasted! She agreed though and was rather quiet that day. Now if I am seated already she will ask if she can join me. Interesting turn of events. She still complains and she knows that I am very aware of it! I don't think she realizes how negative her energy is and how it spreads like a contagion.

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Hi yoginijoy - That sounds very exhausting! It's amazing how quickly negative people can drain us of all our positive energy. But, you know what - we let them and we give them the permission to do so most of the time. I'm glad that you were able to bring this up to your colleague, and that she seemed to have made some small changes. It might take a while, or she might never fully change - but at least you cared enough to try, and also set your boundaries on not being willing to listen to her negativity all the time. Thanks for reading and for taking time to comment! :)

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Melchi, Being postitive is so important to your outlook of life, though sometimes it's not easy...

      Lot's of helpful advice here and an important message, thank you, voted up and shared.

      Best wishes Lesley

    • beaddve1800 profile image

      beaddve1800 4 years ago from Toronto

      Love this hub. I must share this. Yes negative people always around you because they want people to listen their complains, but they don't know that is bad for them!

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      I am a very positive person by nature at this point so loved this hub on dealing with negative people in your life. I do agree family is the toughest nut to crack here so to speak. Thanks for the advice and am sharing and voting up too.

    • yoginijoy profile image

      yoginijoy 4 years ago from Mid-Atlantic, USA

      Hi again. I like what you said in your reply to me about setting boundaries. That is exactly what I do. It has taken me a while to learn that negativity is an energy and I tend to absorb energy very easily--so I've had to learn how to block it in a sense. I also have learned to "not consume" negative images of violence or anger etc... that are constantly bombarding us from the media.

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      beautifully done Melchi. We are positive people that leave a comment with a smile. We believe that negative people have a problem and they cannot fight some 'internal demons.' Hurting people is their main goal. Your tips are right on! I agree with billybuc completely.

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 4 years ago

      Well done Melchi, If someone is feeling down, lending an ear and being their sounding board is fine, it's the constantly negative person I find draining. At work I carry a file or piece of paper with me if I am going anywhere near them, then I just nod say "oh dear, really that bad is it? Excuse me must do this now." Positivity is so important so voted up and interesting. Thank you!

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @Movie Master - Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, I'm glad you found the article useful - much appreciated! :)

      @beaddve1800 - Negative people are like vampires or leeches that try and drain away all the good energy. They're always around though, but at least we can fight them off ;) Thanks for sharing, I appreciate it!

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @Janine - It's good to meet someone else who is also so positive at this point in their life. I wasn't this time last year, and have worked so hard at changing my outlook on life over the last few months. There's no way someone else is going to ruin it because they want to wallow in their self pity. Thanks for your comment! :)

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Hi yoginijoy - I love your way of thinking about blocking off the negative energy. It's difficult to train yourself to do this when if you're like you or me - you're so used to absorbing everything - good or bad, all the time. I'm getting better though, and I like your idea about not consuming negative images in the media - I've started doing this without really realizing it as well, in fact I never watch the news because it's just so upsetting and depressing. Thanks for your comment - was great to hear from you again. :)

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Hi lord - What you say about negative people fighting some 'internal demons', and hurting people is exactly what it is. Of course, we're all here to help - but, they just need to go about it the right way and not constantly complain, manipulate, drain, take advantage of or guilt the other person because they're not happy in their life. Thanks for your comment, appreciate it!

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Hi CyberShelley - I love your idea of keeping a piece of paper with you at work as an excuse to get out of an awkward situation of negativity. I wish I'd known of this trick a couple of months ago at the office - we had a very negative person who felt the need to complain to me every, single day. That would have come in handy! I'm glad you found the article interesting, thanks for stopping by to read and comment - appreciate it! :)

    • That Grrl profile image

      Laura Brown 4 years ago from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

      I'm a positive person like my Grandfather. He was very accepting and content with his life and the people in it. But, I have lived with a houseload of negative people all my life. It's not so easy to stay positive and happy when they have you surrounded.

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Hi That Grrl - I know how hard it is to live among negative people. There's a difference though between living among people who are negative who refuse to change, having negative family or friends that you don't live with, and working with negative people.

      Unfortunately, my parents aren't the most positive or happy of people. They weren't always that way, but life knocked them a few times with retrenchment, cancer and other hard circumstances - which they (we all) got through. Over the last 10 years they just haven't been able to get out of their slump no matter how hard my brother and I tried to change things, to help them be more positive, to suggest things, to make their lives easier. They just won't change - they want to be miserable and complain. (Maybe it's easier for them?) It's as simple as that. So, I promise you - I know what you're talking about and it's hard. My brother still stays at home, and he goes through hell trying not to let their negativity rub off on him. That's why he spends all his time closed behind his bedroom door. Luckily he's just recently landed a new job, and will probably move out before the end of the year. I couldn't be happier for him.

      I hope the same is true for you, because honestly - in my experience, if you try, try, try to help those that are negative - but at the end of the day they just want to be miserable and it rubs off onto you, then there is no point. Sure, we love them - but we can love them from a distance. The best thing to do is have as little contact with them as possible. Family is important, but so is your mental health and your own happiness.

      Thanks for stopping by to comment, I really appreciate it :)

    • DreamerMeg profile image

      DreamerMeg 4 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Your last comment just reminded me of a book I read many years ago which made a big impression on me - well two books actually. One was Eric Berne, "The Games People Play" and the other was Thomas Harris "I'm OK, You're OK". They are both quite "old" books but again, they are perennial in terms of helping you understand the games that people try to play (and that we try to play with ourselves too) and how to feel OK about yourself and others. Both are very readable (though I say that from the perspective of someone who loves reading) and I feel that both books should go on my personal list of "books that changed me" (for the better - LOL).

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Hi DreamerMeg - These sound like two books worth reading, I'll keep a look out for them - I'm also a huge reader and lover of books. Thanks for the tip! :)

    • Natashalh profile image

      Natasha 4 years ago from Hawaii

      I have a coworker with an amazing talent for seeing the negative in absolutely everything! It can make getting anything done pretty difficult. Thanks for the advice.

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Hi Natashalh - The sad thing is that most of these people aren't even looking for advice or to solve their problem. They really only want others to feel sorry for them, they like the attention and they enjoy being miserable. I've found that the best way to let their remarks or attitude fly by and not affect me is to just say "that's a pity" or "I'm sorry to hear" and then immediately turn away and start working or I'll pick up the phone to call a client, walk to the kitchen to make coffee or go to the bathroom. Works like a charm. Thanks for reading and for your comment! :)

    • Peanutritious profile image

      Tara Carbery 4 years ago from Cheshire, UK

      Life is too short for energy vampires. Some people can't seem to see the good in anything. My mum is constantly moaning about her house which is lovely! I get so annoyed with her and tell her some people live in council flats with graffiti in the corridors and urine smelling stairwells. She still moans though! Sadly, (not wanting to sound ungrateful) I'm living with her at the moment as I'm out of work and can't seem to get a job despite applying for anything and everything. It's hard not to get depressed by her negativity. Excellent hub.

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Hi Peanutritious - I can relate to what you're going through. When I stayed with my parents unfortunately it was a similar situation. Days without moaning, complaints or negativity were few and far between. As much as I love them - there's a limit to being a supportive ear if the advice you give never gets taken and things don't change. My brother lives at home and spends all his time cooped up in his room. And then they wonder why...

      Good luck with your job hunt, just hang in there - the right job is slowly finding its way to you! I really think we go through these sort of situations to see how much we can handle and to test us. In a way I'm grateful because I think it's made me a lot more positive.

      Thanks for reading and for your comment :)

    • remaniki profile image

      Rema T V 4 years ago from Chennai, India

      Hi MelChi,

      Just can't tell you how much I liked this hub. So true in all respects. I have known many people with a negative outlook and being a very positive person have been able to co-exist with them.

      Of course you get pissed off by their negative vibes but we can't do anything about it. The best we can do is to learn to live with these anomalies in life and move on. It is not so easy but do we have a choice? At the end of the day I always think that tomorrow will be better. That is being positive, right?

      Life is a beautiful experience and I wish people will realize that they should develop a positive outlook to enjoy it fully rather than grumble about everything and everyone around them.

      Wonderful hub. Sharing it with all my followers. Cheers, Rema.

    • MelChi profile image
      Author

      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Hi Rema - Your words ring of truth. Sadly, there are just some people who are never going to change, no matter how much advice we try and give them, no matter how hard we try and make their lives easier - they seem to take some sort of pleasure (it's the only thing I can imagine!) out of being miserable and in so doing they try to make others around them miserable as well.

      They can't seem to get out of their hole of depression and resentment against the world, so they try and pull others close to them or that they're in contact with down to their level of unhappiness. Well, I for one have learnt how to stop feeling sorry and wasting my breath where it's not wanted. Some people you can help, yes - but others, well they'll just never change and life is too short to waste time and energy on them unfortunately.

      I like your thinking - there's always tomorrow, and it's usually a lot better than today, at least when we are positive ourselves! :)

      Thank you for taking time to read and comment, and for sharing! It's wonderful to be connected with other like-minded people who share the same outlook on life.

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image

      Stephanie Henkel 4 years ago from USA

      Sometimes its easy to let negative people bring you down - your suggestions are great! It's not always possible to keep away from negativity, but we can try our best to focus on the more positive things in our lives. Voted up and shared.

    • remaniki profile image

      Rema T V 4 years ago from Chennai, India

      Thanks a lot for that lovely long response MelChi. Yes, as you said, it is indeed very nice to think that there are like-minded people everywhere especially on HP I would say. This is such a wonderful community. Thanks again. Let's be positive and be happy :)

      Cheers, Rema.

    • MelChi profile image
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      Melanie Chisnall 4 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      @Stephanie - You're right, staying away from negative people isn't always easy - especially if you have to sit next to someone who is negative at work, etc. It takes some practice and it's not easy at all. But, I've found the best way to handle these situations (if you can't get away), is to try and block them out and get really busy. I would also ask myself if I wanted this person to be responsible for my unhappiness for the day, or to take away the good mood my day started with. The answer was always 'no'.

      Thanks for stopping in and commenting - much appreciated! :)

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      Atlantan07 3 years ago

      Thank you so much for this writing.. this kinda information is the type that can help anyone in any part of the world and in any era of time. I have a problem too, I love my mom but she doesn't have enough education to go around understanding the ideas of what should be said and what shouldn't be said..now that isn't to say she doesn't understand anything at all..shes extremely intelligent but just hardheaded..and I have to go to certain means to make her understand sometimes..i.e. yelling ...which upsets me later a lot..no one likes upsetting there loved ones. That also causes me to some time stay up in my room...and worst yet I have younger siblings that also have to deal with it..we love our mother but wish there was a way to permanently make her understand not to be so negative all the time..it doesn't help anything. Btw she doesn't speak english which makes it twice as hard to make her understand as Im decent with my native language but nowhere near good enough lol.. boo I know God willing it'll get better though.

    • MelChi profile image
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      Melanie Chisnall 3 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

      Atlantan07 - I hear exactly what you're saying. It's hard being at home especially with negative people. All situations are different, all I know from personal experience is to try not let it get you down. It can be very hard, I know. Surround yourself with positive things in your room and positive friends. It used to rub off sometimes in our house, which was great. I hope it does too in yours, keep the faith as you're doing and keep going and being as positive as you are right now. :)

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      Gale Roanoake 3 years ago

      Lovely article and great attitude!

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      Rich guy 3 years ago

      I need a positive girlfriend

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      anonymous 2 years ago

      Very inspirational and trigger me to "close my ears" when dealing with my super negative mum. She doesn't have friends, she is always rejected in the social life and she simply creates constant fear in me. I always wish to live far from her but I can't, as am the only kid that she has. Am almost 40 and still being controlled by my mum.

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      Tom 2 years ago

      Dealing with a negative family member is indeed hard. Sometimes guilt racks me... as though I'm doing something wrong. When I distance myself from their negativity, I feel sad and heartbroken that they refuse to see the beauty in life.

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