How to have a positive attitude being an Army Spouse
Being an Army Spouse means I'm married into the Army. My husband has been in the Army for over 10 years now and we have been married for almost 8 year. I married my husband knowing what his job was, what his life was going to be like and how much my life was going to change just by being by his side.
Because I knew what I was getting into I think it might have been easier for me. Maybe it is just the type of person I am that I can handle so much at one time. I often see other Army spouses who can't handle the life and take the first road out or make their soldiers lives harder then they already are.
How do I do it? How do I keep a positive attitude being an Army Spouse and going through all the heartaches we go through? Hopefully some of these insights might help you understand Army Spouse life a little better and if you are an Army Spouse, maybe it will help you keep that positive attitude we need to have to get through everything!
Deployments and Missions
Being away from your spouse has got to be the worst part of the whole Army life for me. I love my husband with all my being and him not being home, whether it is one night or 15 months, sucks. My positive attitude that helps me get through these times is easy. They are not doing 15 month deployments any more so when he does deploy I just tell myself and him that "at least it's not 15 months" or "it could be worse". I keep a journel by the bed and every night when I think of things I need to talk to him about or things I need to do around the house I write it down in the book and that way I'm not sitting there thinking about it all night and I am able to get more sleep. I stay positive that he will make it home safe and sound to me and the kids. That his hard work while gone will better his career and therefore make a better life for us. While he is gone I also make a list of all the great things I want to do during R&R and the things we can do after he comes home from deployments or missions.
Friends and Family
I'm the baby of my family so moving so far away from my Mom had to have been the hardest thing ever. She means the world to me and because of that we have stayed close. Since I've gotten married me and all my siblings have gotten closer I think. Granted I don't get to see them as much as I would like (I have family that hasn't seen my son since he was 8 months old and now he's 4 and a half) but that doesn't stop the positive attitude that I will get to see them again, one way or another. Having all these different types of Networking Media these days helps as well to stay in touch. I started a blog in Italy just so our family was able to watch the kids grow up and they could go on our adventures with us. MySpace played a huge roll in our lives until Facebook took over. Over half my friends on Facebook are family members! I could not imagine living back in the day to where it was mail by horse back or no mail at all until the soldier came home. That would have been a horrible feeling. I'm very thankful I have so many ways to communicate with my family, another thing that keeps me positive!
My Army friends and family help keep me from missing my family too much. There is always someone who wants to hang out or play video games or go to dinner with. Having these friends keeps me from wishing I lived back at my Mom's. They also help me by giving me support in hard times and they give me people to comfort in return. Staying positive for them helps me stay positive for me and my family as well.
This is always a sore subject with any Army Spouse. Whether it is your first time moving or your 10th time it never gets any easier. We have had our horrible moves, the main one being from the wonderful state of Colorado to the middle of the Mojave Dessert to Fort Irwin (north of Barstow, California). Talk about a difficult mission to find the positive one in that! But I did. There's so much to do and see out away from where we lived. Barstow is half way between LA and Las Vegas. My husband had a cousin who lived in Vegas so we were able to go there and visit often. The beach in LA is, of course, amazing so we went there as often as possible too. We got to see the Great Red Wood Sequoia trees in Cali too while we were there. Sea World, San Diego, there's just so much to SEE! Granted it would take us a whole weekend with the three kids but it was well worth the memories we got with every trip.
When moving to a new post, don't dwell on the fact that you are leaving your home as you are going to a new one. Try not to think of the negatives of living somewhere new, the not knowing people, the new schools, the new jobs. Look at them as great new experiances. You might start the perfect job, get better teachers and grades, know and love more people then your old post. Look forward to the new adventures, even if it isn't going to happen right away. Make a list of the want to see's and make sure you go see them as soon as you can. Don't see them all at once however, spread it out. If you want to go to Vegas, check out everything that is around there. Go roam in the desert and take pictures of your family having a great time. Those are the memories that last forever.
In all, having a positive attitude is a must to be an Army spouse. Be positive about the moving. Be positive about the relationships you make. Be positive about the new experiances you will get to explore. Above all, be positive that your soldier is going to come home to you safe. Having that positive attitude will be what makes your marriage in the Army work.
Below is a link to my blog What's it like to be an Army Wife??? A little more insight to how I make it through every day life.