A Few Tips on How to Manage Anger
Do you think the same way you did five years ago?
I wrote this Hub when I was 19 years old! Here is what 19 year old me wrote:
There are times when many of us tend to get angry over "little" things in our lives, and most of us get angry over big things going "wrong" in our lives. I have found that doing this exercise below helps greatly in diminishing the anger for the little things that do not need to be stressed over in an already stressful life!
Personally, I think anger is one emotion that works quickly within the human mind--it is human nature for anger to rush out before our minds can actually process the information we get angry about. This is why people always say when you get mad, when your about to break, when you are overwhelmed, take a deep breath and relax, because things are rarely as bad as we made them out to be at first. Of course, there are exceptions to this, but we all know that we blow things out of proportion from time to time.
A) When you get angry at someone:
Step 1-Write down WHO you are angry at, and an explanation of WHY you are angry at that person.
Step 2- Below step 1, write FIVE things you like about the person/that reminds you why you love or like them/or just something that makes you laugh about them. [Putting thought into this step also helps you refrain from screaming!]
Step 3- After Step 1 and Step 2, re-read the five reason at least one more time.
Step 4- At the end of this exercise, think of a song that puts you in a good mood! Music is one powerful tool in changing human emotions!
This exercise not only makes your mind work, but it also keeps reminding you of the reasons in which you love or like this person you are angry at, no matter what they have done or what you think they may have done, it is NEVER healthy to live with anger in your life when it is so unnecessary!
B) If you are angry about something:
Step 1- Explain what the situation or problem is that is angering you. Details are great for this step.
Step 2- Think of at least THREE ways that the situation or problem can be fixed or accepted into your life and write them below Step 1. Change is not bad thing, change is what allows us to grow emotionally an as a human! Everything is always changing, that is just reality and it is time to accept it!
Step 3- Read over what you wrote for Steps 1 and 2 at least one time, and try to be open minded
Step 4- Find a quote by anyone that you can relate to in whatever your situation is, AND REMEMBER: It is never the end of the world, only that chapter in your life which you will be successful in!
Things in life will always be difficult, but we are judged by other in the actions we take after our cards dealt to us. Handling difficult things gracefully is something that everyone can want to be like--AND achieve it. The key in handling these things is to first of all, maintain levelheadedness! In maintaining a level head, you will begin to realize how overwhelming it is to let things that don't go your way or other little issues get it the way of having a good attitude about life. Maintaining a good attitude and positive thinking really helps in being HAPPY in and about your life!
Five years after originally writing this hub, I have some new advice for those who have anger issues. I did not admit it at the time, but I have anger issues due to depression, anxiety, and stress. It is almost like I am bi-polar with the ability I have to snap into angry mode from virtually any other mode. When I was 19, I was trying to be “deep” and “thoughtful,” and I thought writing things down would be a good way to do that. It might for some people, BUT I know that in that SNAP moment, you are not going to sit down and whip out a pen and paper to write things down. However, in that snap moment, you may be able to remind yourself to take a deep breath and realize that you may be overreacting to whatever is making you angry. Keeping yourself in check is the key to lassoing that anger and keeping it in its place!
Now, I’m not saying it’s healthy to keep it locked up inside, because IT IS NOT. For me, at least, if anger is kept inside, it only ends up bubbling over mega-time and is a trillion (yes, trillion) times worse. I used to burst out in angry fits because I didn’t know what to do with my anger. It would just sneak up on me and surprise everyone around me, including myself. Over time, though, I have learned to realize when it is bubbling up, when it is about to overflow, or when it is about to send scalding hotness across myself and everyone around me. In those moments, I take a step back from everything outside of my mind and concentrate on what is going on in my mind.
I ask myself a few simple questions:
- Why am I getting so angry?
- What am I getting angry about?
- Who is suffering from my angry outburst?
- Is it necessary to show this anger?
Usually by the time I ask myself these questions I calm down. If I’m not as calm as I want to be after I ask myself these questions, I just walk away until I am. Since I realized how my anger works, I have been trying to tame that side of me…because if I’m going to be a strong, untamed woman, then I at least need to have that anger under wraps! ;)