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Appreciate Others More Fully. How to prevent taking others for granted. Get a raise.

Updated on June 8, 2014

Why do we say that we raise a child?

Lifting up can be a full time job.
Lifting up can be a full time job. | Source

Why do we take others for granted? Get a raise.

The fastest way to create a resentment toward yourself is to fail to appreciate others. The quickest path to annihilation of teamwork is lack of appreciation. Take others for granted and they will do worse around you. Even take yourself for granted and you will soon be sick.

Some of you need to ask for a raise right now. Some of you need to give someone a raise right now.

We start out with money. It is very interesting the language we use for getting paid more. We know that it means to increase the column of how much money we make. But that is not what we say. We do not say "give his pay column an increase or raise". We say give the man a raise. Kind of cool huh? Interesting it is the same language used almost universally when speaking of a soul going to heaven or to help someone, rise above the current state.

I will raise you up!

Easy to say here that that is some deities job. Easy to not accept the notion for ourselves raising up our brothers and sisters. I will make it easy on all of you -- I command you to raise others up.

So why do we take others for granted in the first place? Lazy, comfortable, complacent, cheap, too busy. And here is the number one reason. Because it is just their job. This applies to home and work and social groups and especially places of worship.

We spend hour after hour over how to get things done in a micro manage sort of way. Stupid. If we spent the same time building each other up the job would also get done.

Up or Down

Which do you spend the most time doing?

See results

Put your hand in the hand of your brother.

I have never reached out to lend a hand to help someone up and out without getting up and out myself. Think about that.

My wife is doing the dishes. I am doing laundry and garbage and vacuuming. I am tired and she is tired and we have problems like any home.

We I was taught to appreciate. Good people told me such things to do. So I drop what I am doing and go sneak up behind the woman who is just doing her chores around the house. I give her a rose from my garden. And simply say "I love you, thank you for all your hard work".

Now you who read here know me well. I did not do that for her. I did it strictly for me ;-) In truth I do pick up some great energy and now have a smile as I am sorting clothes and putting them in a pile for my boy to play in.

A fun song and video -- we really were weird back then.

Techies and Writers

Over the past decade or two I have worked with a whole lot of techies and writers. Both when they are finished produce something that we can marvel at or not. I would suggest that the recent portals for Affordable Care may be one we do not marvel at. I would also suggest that while they were building such a monster they were not building each other up. They were taking each other for granted.

Quite often a techie will not really appreciate the style and artistry of the words that get placed on a site. Quite often the writer will just want it "to work and look right" and really has no appreciation for the back end that makes it so. This is exacerbated when management separates the two groups.

I am not saying I am just saying that perhaps if the two groups would have not taken each other for granted resentments would not have built up and been built into the system.

This stems from management who are result oriented and not people oriented. It is the epitome of taking others for granted. And I do not think anyone can argue that management on the project was lacking.

Apply the same principle to traditional husband and wife, child and parent, partners and best friends.

The pit and the tree

Higher Ground
Higher Ground | Source

A word of caution

As I indicated above. One does the least appreciation when one is below or descending or condescending. Of course the old beggar thanks you for the money or food. Of course the student thanks the teacher. Of course the accused thanks his lawyer and the patient their doctor.

And that helps us to see the issue from a different light. Do you take appreciation for granted. I do. Writers can get pretty big headed. Normally I think this actually stems from our insecurity. We tend to over compensate. Have you any followers on facebook, Pinterest or HubPages or wherever. And you know they visit when you put out a writing or photos or such?

Well do you really thank them. You see them thanking you is almost expected after some success and it is the polite thing to do. However to you appreciate them back or take them for granted.

I see some writers that do not respond to comments or do it like a mass list. This is sad to me. The real juice is in paying it back and reaching down and raising them up.

The absolute best at doing this appreciation for others is not the highest scorer or the most decorated but he is the highest ranking and visited author on all of HubPages.

So I ask; Is his success because he treats others so well, never taking them for granted? Yes and No. Yes but not for the reason you may think. Not because he appreciates us readers directly but rather that you can almost feel his raising him self up as he raises others.

The most famous "raising up"

The story is not about those below raising up their man. It is about those above raising up those below.
The story is not about those below raising up their man. It is about those above raising up those below. | Source

So now the "How To"

Habit. Make it a habit. Complimenting should be a habit. Learn to look for something good to say to people. Make it your focus. There is always time to be critical. Focus outside of you. Learn names. Listen more than talk.

What we need to do to avoid taking people for granted is just that. Do not take people for granted. Do not let it become a default position in your life.

Here is a fun one. Look for "two for one" little deals for small things. What we call sundries. And share them. It really means something to someone that when you were away from them you actually thought of them.

Start the beginning of each day "checking in with people". Simple questions about life or work.

Close with some thoughts.

Some folks just are plain nice to have around. I think you would like to be one of them. I think you are one of them. If you are reading this you must want to be one of them. And I think that is really cool. I want to be one of them. I like them and want to be like them.

You are them. Thank you for coming by and reading. If you comment you are a face that I like and a name I should know. If you do not then you are appreciated for reading and being a person that helps me thrive and feel good about my writing. And I think that is really nice.

So a great big thank you. I really do appreciate you, and if I take you for granted, please let me know.


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    • JPSO138 profile image

      JPSO138 4 years ago from Cebu, Philippines, International

      Hi Eric, yes there were a couple of times where I see people taken for granted and it pains me to see that they have left our workplace. Good people with great talent but were never appreciated. Thanks for this hub, hopefully many will make it a habit. Best to you my friend and up for this one!

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      You just ruined my whole hub IDONO. We do not keep it simple round here we keep it simple stupid ;-) I just copied and pasted your whole comment. It will go on my quotes board. Merci Buckets as we say.....

    • IDONO profile image

      IDONO 4 years ago from Akron Ohio

      Hi, Eric. You know I have to try to keep things simple so here is how I try to keep my appreciation where it belongs.

      Instead of looking at what I want, that other people have, I look at what I have that other people don't. I believe that's the difference between envy and gratitude. Thx

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      My Cook Book, I am taking you for granted. I am afraid every time I read your recipes I add weight hihihihi.

      I really like your food. Some of it is very close to my wife's Vietnamese cooking in many ways.

      Everyone should enjoy

    • My Cook Book profile image

      Dil Vil 4 years ago from India

      So good read my friend, the conclusion part especially is great. You are a good friend to me :)

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Mhatter99, you done been reading my mail. That is much the same as my story. Thank you for sharing that.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Faith, I am falling in with a nice group of uplifters. Every day I get a boost from them. It is just great.

      Oh,,,, did I mention the group is right here and right now and you are a ring leader!!!!

      Thank you for spreading the love everyword at a time.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Yes, we need to uplift each other as much as possible and encourage one another. Such small acts of kindness can go a long way in the life of another. One never knows how much our words will bless others.

      Beautiful reminder here for all!

      Up and more and sharing

      Giving you a raise .... or a Hug this morn.

      Blessings to you and yours,

      Faith Reaper

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. There was a time when all I had to do was say hi. I worked with a lot of people. My wife made sure I didn't forget things. Now my "others" is the social network.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Wonderful expressions Harishprasad. This is a noble path you pursue.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Brian, Thank for getting me motivated for a good Sun Salutation this evening and for supporting me.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Denise it is a treasure and a pleasure to have you come visit. I have some issues on that appreciating myself deal -- and like loving ourselves it is the first step. Thank you.

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 4 years ago from New Delhi , India

      Ericdierker, in so simple words,you have told about the importance and utility of a wonderful trait of appreciating others. This trait contributes to growth two ways, one who appreciates is filled with closeness and fellow feeling and a wonderful tranquility, and the appreciated is also blessed with the same. Thus both persons bath in the greater love for each other. Really having such a trait is a kind of great blessing. Thank you very much for bringing forth such a beautiful gem to be worn by every right thinking person.

    • Brian Prickril profile image

      Brian Prickril 4 years ago from Savannah, GA

      Hi, Eric. Great thoughts today. This action of raising others is something that took me a few years to learn. What can I say...? I was a young fool for many years. Now I stop and smell the roses. People love to know that what they do is being appreciated. Heck, people NEED to know it! Your daily message always gives me something to consider.

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      I could use a raise! Thanks for reminding me that I need to give myself some appreciation as well as hoping to receive it from others. I know how to give it to others, but often overlook it when I am down on myself. Next time I am down on myself, I'll remember to appreciate myself, then I can go out and do it for others!

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Electro-Denizen I hope you know that most hubs are me "lecturing myself". I have so many issues that I will spend a lifetime -- redirecting myself. I am most pleased that you enjoy watching my journey.

    • Electro-Denizen profile image

      Charles 4 years ago from Wales, UK

      Eric I *really* like your hubs, they add to life..... And the 'raising up' concept, brilliant...have a nice day

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      That there is the man! billybuc always raises me up. I try not to take this extraordinary man for granted.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I'm with you every step of the way my friend. This life is too short to live it in negativity. Carry on buddy!