Appreciate Others More Fully. How to prevent taking others for granted. Get a raise.
Why do we say that we raise a child?
Why do we take others for granted? Get a raise.
The fastest way to create a resentment toward yourself is to fail to appreciate others. The quickest path to annihilation of teamwork is lack of appreciation. Take others for granted and they will do worse around you. Even take yourself for granted and you will soon be sick.
Some of you need to ask for a raise right now. Some of you need to give someone a raise right now.
We start out with money. It is very interesting the language we use for getting paid more. We know that it means to increase the column of how much money we make. But that is not what we say. We do not say "give his pay column an increase or raise". We say give the man a raise. Kind of cool huh? Interesting it is the same language used almost universally when speaking of a soul going to heaven or to help someone, rise above the current state.
I will raise you up!
Easy to say here that that is some deities job. Easy to not accept the notion for ourselves raising up our brothers and sisters. I will make it easy on all of you -- I command you to raise others up.
So why do we take others for granted in the first place? Lazy, comfortable, complacent, cheap, too busy. And here is the number one reason. Because it is just their job. This applies to home and work and social groups and especially places of worship.
We spend hour after hour over how to get things done in a micro manage sort of way. Stupid. If we spent the same time building each other up the job would also get done.
Up or Down
Which do you spend the most time doing?
Put your hand in the hand of your brother.
I have never reached out to lend a hand to help someone up and out without getting up and out myself. Think about that.
My wife is doing the dishes. I am doing laundry and garbage and vacuuming. I am tired and she is tired and we have problems like any home.
We I was taught to appreciate. Good people told me such things to do. So I drop what I am doing and go sneak up behind the woman who is just doing her chores around the house. I give her a rose from my garden. And simply say "I love you, thank you for all your hard work".
Now you who read here know me well. I did not do that for her. I did it strictly for me ;-) In truth I do pick up some great energy and now have a smile as I am sorting clothes and putting them in a pile for my boy to play in.
A fun song and video -- we really were weird back then.
Techies and Writers
Over the past decade or two I have worked with a whole lot of techies and writers. Both when they are finished produce something that we can marvel at or not. I would suggest that the recent portals for Affordable Care may be one we do not marvel at. I would also suggest that while they were building such a monster they were not building each other up. They were taking each other for granted.
Quite often a techie will not really appreciate the style and artistry of the words that get placed on a site. Quite often the writer will just want it "to work and look right" and really has no appreciation for the back end that makes it so. This is exacerbated when management separates the two groups.
I am not saying I am just saying that perhaps if the two groups would have not taken each other for granted resentments would not have built up and been built into the system.
This stems from management who are result oriented and not people oriented. It is the epitome of taking others for granted. And I do not think anyone can argue that management on the project was lacking.
Apply the same principle to traditional husband and wife, child and parent, partners and best friends.
The pit and the tree
A word of caution
As I indicated above. One does the least appreciation when one is below or descending or condescending. Of course the old beggar thanks you for the money or food. Of course the student thanks the teacher. Of course the accused thanks his lawyer and the patient their doctor.
And that helps us to see the issue from a different light. Do you take appreciation for granted. I do. Writers can get pretty big headed. Normally I think this actually stems from our insecurity. We tend to over compensate. Have you any followers on facebook, Pinterest or HubPages or wherever. And you know they visit when you put out a writing or photos or such?
Well do you really thank them. You see them thanking you is almost expected after some success and it is the polite thing to do. However to you appreciate them back or take them for granted.
I see some writers that do not respond to comments or do it like a mass list. This is sad to me. The real juice is in paying it back and reaching down and raising them up.
The absolute best at doing this appreciation for others is not the highest scorer or the most decorated but he is the highest ranking and visited author on all of HubPages.
So I ask; Is his success because he treats others so well, never taking them for granted? Yes and No. Yes but not for the reason you may think. Not because he appreciates us readers directly but rather that you can almost feel his raising him self up as he raises others.
The most famous "raising up"
So now the "How To"
Habit. Make it a habit. Complimenting should be a habit. Learn to look for something good to say to people. Make it your focus. There is always time to be critical. Focus outside of you. Learn names. Listen more than talk.
What we need to do to avoid taking people for granted is just that. Do not take people for granted. Do not let it become a default position in your life.
Here is a fun one. Look for "two for one" little deals for small things. What we call sundries. And share them. It really means something to someone that when you were away from them you actually thought of them.
Start the beginning of each day "checking in with people". Simple questions about life or work.
Close with some thoughts.
Some folks just are plain nice to have around. I think you would like to be one of them. I think you are one of them. If you are reading this you must want to be one of them. And I think that is really cool. I want to be one of them. I like them and want to be like them.
You are them. Thank you for coming by and reading. If you comment you are a face that I like and a name I should know. If you do not then you are appreciated for reading and being a person that helps me thrive and feel good about my writing. And I think that is really nice.
So a great big thank you. I really do appreciate you, and if I take you for granted, please let me know.