ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to Improve Self Esteem?

Updated on February 6, 2018
Jewels profile image

Julie has been undertaking spiritual work for 23 years and imparts her knowledge of meditation and inner experiences through her writing.

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
Mark Twain

Self Esteem or lack of it has many causes which usually stems from your childhood upbringing at home and at school. When you go through your adult years, it is easy to blame your parents for your lack of courage and fortitude because you were not taught how to stand up for yourself or you now lack the ability to overcome difficulties you face day to day.

Parents are the easy targets for blame and it may or may not be warranted. Whether your parents are the true culprits of your low-value barometer, it becomes irrelevant at a certain point in your life because it is only you who can change how you face the world.

You are likely living with the belief that you are a lesser person, and not living up to what you think are the expectations of other people. In reality, it is very likely that your own expectations of yourself are the prime culprit.

There are social implications to low self-esteem which include the inability to interact with people, becoming a recluse or to generally being introverted. Loneliness is often the end result.

Another result of low self-value is the tendency to continually defend yourself. Even if you're not being attacked or confronted, you will think you are the target of jokes. Your paranoid inner voice is convinced that any negative conversation has you as its center. All you hear is that you are not good enough or something to be laughed at. You are likely to take personally any jibe made by obnoxious people, or worse - you become an obnoxious person who dumps on people to cover up your own feelings of not being good enough.

Low self-esteem directly affects your ability to achieve. The critical voice inside your head often puts the brakes on your will. This can lead to procrastination which stops you from moving forward with projects and being creative.

Self-doubt and the expectation of trouble can steal your will and you become frozen from moving into your desires. The feeling of defeat before beginning is common with self-esteem issue. It's like you are in a cycle of hope and loss, wantings and then disappointments. You have ideas but you don't follow through with manifesting them.

Self Esteem Poll

What is the most dominant negative thought circling in your head?

See results

Lack of self-esteem can be a vicious circle unless you do something about it. That circle will not break unless you want it to and you become willing to do something about climbing out of the malaise it has created for you.

Start small. Find something that you have an interest in and start a project. Starting something on your own may be too difficult depending on how much confidence and knowhow you have. So join a group. You will be amazed at how many people LOVE to help you and LOVE to teach you skills that they have. And perhaps you have the knowledge to share with other people. It is helpful to know that passing knowledge is a human social skill. You don't need a degree to be good at something.

A big DON'T. In the beginning of this breakout, don't do something that is too difficult and that you are likely to fail at. That will just prove to your incessant mind that you are a failure. Start small and grow from there.

When you have mastered one thing, build on it and try something a little more difficult. It is likely you will make mistakes and feel like you're failing. We all make mistakes and we are all not masters of everything. Don't be afraid to admit you are vulnerable.

Gaining confidence and self-esteem is gauged by how much you start to like yourself, and eventually love yourself. Achieving is not about being better than others, it's about being the best you can be despite the hurdles life presents you. If you never begin anything you are by default failing. Healthy self-respect comes from knowing you are trying no matter what the outcome.

Start small and become awesome. Start big and you miss the journey.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)