How to Improve Self Esteem?
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
― Mark Twain
Self Esteem or lack of it has many causes which usually stems from your childhood upbringing at home and at school. When you go through your adult years, it is easy to blame your parents for your lack of courage and fortitude because you were not taught how to stand up for yourself or you now lack the ability to overcome difficulties you face day to day.
Parents are the easy targets for blame and it may or may not be warranted. Whether your parents are the true culprits of your low-value barometer, it becomes irrelevant at a certain point in your life because it is only you who can change how you face the world.
You are likely living with the belief that you are a lesser person, and not living up to what you think are the expectations of other people. In reality, it is very likely that your own expectations of yourself are the prime culprit.
There are social implications to low self-esteem which include the inability to interact with people, becoming a recluse or to generally being introverted. Loneliness is often the end result.
Another result of low self-value is the tendency to continually defend yourself. Even if you're not being attacked or confronted, you will think you are the target of jokes. Your paranoid inner voice is convinced that any negative conversation has you as its center. All you hear is that you are not good enough or something to be laughed at. You are likely to take personally any jibe made by obnoxious people, or worse - you become an obnoxious person who dumps on people to cover up your own feelings of not being good enough.
Low self-esteem directly affects your ability to achieve. The critical voice inside your head often puts the brakes on your will. This can lead to procrastination which stops you from moving forward with projects and being creative.
Self-doubt and the expectation of trouble can steal your will and you become frozen from moving into your desires. The feeling of defeat before beginning is common with self-esteem issue. It's like you are in a cycle of hope and loss, wantings and then disappointments. You have ideas but you don't follow through with manifesting them.
Self Esteem Poll
What is the most dominant negative thought circling in your head?
Lack of self-esteem can be a vicious circle unless you do something about it. That circle will not break unless you want it to and you become willing to do something about climbing out of the malaise it has created for you.
Start small. Find something that you have an interest in and start a project. Starting something on your own may be too difficult depending on how much confidence and knowhow you have. So join a group. You will be amazed at how many people LOVE to help you and LOVE to teach you skills that they have. And perhaps you have the knowledge to share with other people. It is helpful to know that passing knowledge is a human social skill. You don't need a degree to be good at something.
A big DON'T. In the beginning of this breakout, don't do something that is too difficult and that you are likely to fail at. That will just prove to your incessant mind that you are a failure. Start small and grow from there.
When you have mastered one thing, build on it and try something a little more difficult. It is likely you will make mistakes and feel like you're failing. We all make mistakes and we are all not masters of everything. Don't be afraid to admit you are vulnerable.
Gaining confidence and self-esteem is gauged by how much you start to like yourself, and eventually love yourself. Achieving is not about being better than others, it's about being the best you can be despite the hurdles life presents you. If you never begin anything you are by default failing. Healthy self-respect comes from knowing you are trying no matter what the outcome.
Start small and become awesome. Start big and you miss the journey.
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