- Mental Health
Increase Ownership of Yourself?
Take Ownership of Yourself
In the self-help and self-improvement field, one subject I don't see the subject of ownership of self-being addressed. Ownership for the purpose of this article is defined as the act, state or fact of being an owner of your whole self. The process and mechanics of ownership are fairly complex since one can gain, transfer and lose ownership of whole or parts of self at any point in your life. Personal ownership is a right given to you at time of birth and should develop over time as you mature.
You don't always know when you are in ownership of yourself but you are acutely aware when you do not have it. There are many life events that cause you to relinquish ownership to yourself from being belittled, harassed, or bullied as a child to go through abuse, catastrophic acts of nature, traumatic or combat experiences. Each of these life events causes you to feel a loss. You may feel a loss of your body, emotions, esteem, specific organs, mind, spirit, or worth.
A loss is a major issue and a fact of life. In this society loss is interpreted as something you do not face, you just move on. The resulting feeling experienced with a loss is described as emptiness within. This emptiness is translated internally as “I did something wrong, I don’t have what others have or I am not good enough or worth anything”. This internalized awareness will cause a state of self-doubt, harshly judging yourself as wrong or worthless and then completely disowning yourself. Once the disowning occurs you will seek external validation from anything or anyone other than yourself. The loss is constantly centered on what you did not do with the main theme of “if only”. “If only I had done this.” “If only I had said or not said that.” You then find yourself living symbolically in the past attempting to fix or right the wrong you think you did. You will begin doing or grasping for whatever you think might fill the emptiness from outside yourself.
I envision this scenario as a garage sale. You dim yourself as worthless, empty or of no value so you literally put yourself out for sale to the highest bidder. Hoping that you will be accepted by someone else, and they will take ownership of you. The thought is that everything in your life will be better. Unfortunately selling yourself for something or to someone never results in fulfillment.
How to take back ownership
Ownership is the key building block in the self-development, growth and health field. To achieve the key of ownership of yourself, an action must be done. The action is drawing up a personal legal document of ownership. Writing is very powerful and can enhance your personal authority. Writing takes thoughts and dreams out of the ethereal plane and makes it real in the moment. Seeing on paper gives you power and accountability. The act of putting your ownership of yourself on paper will increase your relationship with yourself, give you pride and confidence. So with that in mind, let‘s start.
Before you draw up your agreement of ownership there two things to do in order to prepare. Start by writing a list of all the strengths you possess. This exercise is not about a feeling that you are being conceited or self-centeredness. Be truthful and honest about your strengths. The list is only for you to see. You may also ask the opinions of people you love and trust what your strengths are to get a different perspective.
Next, write a gratitude list. Gratitude is thankfulness. List all the things you a grateful for in your life. Start each gratitude statement with “I am thankful for……” Search every area of your life.
Once you have completed both lists and had a chance to re-read them, draw up your personal legal document of ownership with yourself. It is a personal statement ownership for the whole of you, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Include ownership of your strengths and having the gratitude of what you have accomplished.
Upon completion of this exercise, place your document in a safe place and bring it out when you feel like you need a reminder of how wonderful you really are.
Personal Ownership Document
I_____________________________________________ do hereby declare that I am the legal owner of myself. This is my personal declaration of all things good of me. (Enter your list here):
I do hereby swear that I take full possession and responsibility of myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually for as long as I am alive.
© 2010 Bill Tollefson