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I Died Last Night

Updated on July 3, 2014

The End Is Here

Death came quietly in the night for me. Silently I packed my bags and said farewell to the life I have known for sixty-five years.

There was no pain so do not worry yourselves over that. This magnificent machine that I had ridden finally stopped working, an eventuality we all must face. The inhales and exhales diminished in number, and finally reached zero, and off I trundled to the hereafter.

With backpack slung over my shoulder, and with one foot in the tunnel of light, I looked back and watched a documentary of my life. It was enlightening to say the least, and if you don’t mind, I would like to share it with you. It won’t take long, for our lives are just a flash when measured against time, so kick back, get comfortable, and let me share my last vision.

Not a care in the world
Not a care in the world | Source

The Pinball Machine of Youth

Our ball settles into the groove and the spring launcher propels us on our way, to and fro, out of control and hurtling toward our destiny.

Wherever we turn there are bumpers, flippers, kickers and slingshots. We aim for targets and miss. We aim for targets and strike gold. Holes and saucers, spinners and rollovers, switches, gates and stoppers, all there to provide challenges and teach lessons on an adrenaline rush that promises to never end.

Are we ever truly in control as a child? I doubt that I was, for the world, and life in general, constantly pressed the buttons, flipped those flippers, and kept me challenged and energized day in, day out, 24/7 and 365. Do this, don’t do that, learn by trial, error, pain and joy, but learn we must or we’ll be spit out, ground up, and end up a footnote, a small notation on the last page of life’s bibliography.

There were few responsibilities those early years. Get up, learn from parents, go to school, get decent grades, take care of chores, keep my nose clean and my hand out of the cookie jar, basic stuff we all learn, seemingly unimportant, but really quite crucial as building blocks for the future.

Love you mom, love you dad, pass the potatoes and praise the Lord, moving up the ladder to fame, fortune, and the inevitable fall from grace.

Way too much fun and fearing no consequences
Way too much fun and fearing no consequences | Source

The Bullriding Wanderlust of the Young Adult

Man alive that bull could shake, rattle and roll. When did I ever sleep? When did I ever take the time to ask the important questions? Too much to do for silliness such as who am I and where am I going; it was just balls to the wall, one adventure after another, flying low under the radar and hoping the sonic boom didn’t bust any windows.

We have to pay the piper at some point, but early adulthood is for fun, fun, fun now that daddy took the T-bird away, and rock me gently, rock me slowly, take it easy and don’t let go, the words of wisdom, passed down by family, quietly providing the hand brake on my actions, but just barely enough. Limits were for challenging, and challenges were for unlimiting, and the possibility that the party would burn out and end were all so much nonsense.

Forget about the cookie jar. We’re talking non-stop fun in the damn candy store, burning that candle at both ends, in the middle, and around and around we go and only the good die young. Am I right? So live it up, party till I drop, and kick life in the ass as long as I can lift my foot.

The Introspection As Life Marches Onward

I see an older man now. He may have kicked ass earlier, but he’s feeling the boot to his own ass now, as time and fate have brought him to his knees on more than one occasion. Lessons learned are lessons earned, and I had to learn, and earn, them the hard way.

The non-stop fun of youth has to be paid for at some point, and interest accrues, and the collector comes, with the enforcer, demanding the vig in an unkindly way. So I borrow from Pete and tell Paul to wait his turn, and shuck and jive my way along bumpy damned roads, hoping the tires have just enough tread to get me to the turnpike.

Responsibilities are added, and now there are others who rely on me, and I nine-to-five it from one day to the next, squeezing that nickel until he defecates all over my dreams, and if I can just figure out a way to make it all work then it will be all right. Put a man in a tight squeeze and he’ll toss aside lessons learned and react as any animal cornered. Teeth are bared, claws extended, saliva dripping because it’s all about survival now, and survival of the fittest is the law of this man’s land for better or for worse.

Where did it all go wrong? Where did the dreams go to? My head is popping from the squeeze, man, and it feels like my eyeballs will explode right out of my skull.

Listen to the whispers….quietly in the night they come stealing…shhh…listen….the old lessons, passed down from granddaddy and papa, those are the words of truth….shhh….listen…..take a deep breath….that which don’t kill you makes you stronger, and you ain’t dead, so get your butt off the ground and turn this ship around.

A peacefulness descends
A peacefulness descends | Source

The Awareness As Life Comes to an End

Now that’s better, isn’t it Billy Boy? Calm, and not the calm before a storm, but deep calm, that secret place inside where no one can hurt you, where serenity awaits you with open arms, that’s where you are now, soldier. Kick back and relax those old bones. No more fighting necessary. The foe is licked and the foe was you, and doesn’t it feel a world better just surrendering to those whispers?

So I rebuild. Tear down that old structure, right down to the foundation, because that foundation is still solid, and start framing, start wiring, start plumbing, build it all solid, double-wall construction, and don’t scrimp on the materials. What time I have left is spent surrounded by the greatest insulator of them all…love, baby, love….and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy now, because I gave up the fight, tossed up my hands, and shouted NO MAS!

Embrace each day, rejoice with the sunrise, mellow with the sunsets, allow it all to infiltrate my every pore and become one with life. Oh, how obnoxious does that sound, but it’s the truth, Ruth, and if I’m lying then I’m dying, as are we all, a little bit each day, tick, tock, tick, tock, and now…

I can look back and see it all, the highways and back roads that led me to this place, this time, this life…this love….and I smile….and take that last sweet gasp of air….and…..

Thank God I’m Alive

It wasn’t my time after all. Big mistake, some mix-up with the paperwork, my file was placed in the wrong outbox or some such thing, so back to earth, Billy Boy, and remember this dry run, and don’t waste another damn minute because, well, the time is coming for us all…tick, tock, tick, tock…and wouldn’t it be a shame to look down after that last breath and not enjoy the…….

The movie of your life.

2014 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Wow, I can't believe I am early on in the comments today. You had me a bit concerned with your opening statement. Your words are wisdom for those who are searching the meaning of life. I say that if I knew now way back when -- I would have saved myself a ton of difficulty. Yes, live each day well. Blessings.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 3 years ago from Arizona

      I loved reading this and it caused me to reflect. And I have had a most interesting life...And I was thinking what we get from our early childhood and how it affects our entire life. Some of the stuff we did and survived...pretty daunting. Anyway Your reflection of life is very poignant especially since you changed your course of life. Glad the paperwork was mixed up.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 3 years ago from New York, New York

      Love the way you broke down life here and I know you take nothing for granted now, living life to the fullest. Happy Thursday now!!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Dianna. Where is that hindsight when we need it? Right? I sure could have had an easier life if I had known then what.....but we live and we learn, and sometimes those lessons are tough.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carol, I'm darned happy that even the office up above mixes up the paperwork from time to time. LOL Thank you...this is the type of writing I love doing.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Janine, balls to the wall and full speed ahead my friend. Good morning and have a spectacular day.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 3 years ago from Central Florida

      Wow, this is awesome Bill! I was curious to see how you ended this post. Brilliant play my friend. Aside from the message (I got it), this is quite a read. One of your best, I'd say.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Sha. I needed to write something for me for a change, and I enjoyed the adventure.

    • RachaelOhalloran profile image

      Rachael O'Halloran 3 years ago from United States

      This was a nice insight into how we should evaluate and renovate. I think we should all "take stock" every year (or two or three) to see what we have learned, how and if we applied it, then kick ourselves in the butt to get better at the things we need to improve and do away with the things that are hurtful to us and others. Only then do we truly live and learn and by example, we help others to live and learn. You have passed along a few lessons here whether you know it or not. :)

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      I am your choir and I do love when you preach...

      Sharing far and wide...this is a must read!

      LOVE you today and every day, Maria

    • DrBill-WmL-Smith profile image

      William Leverne Smith 3 years ago from Hollister, MO

      What fun! Great exercise! Thanks for sharing!! ;-)

      I'm up early today, surprise... on the road... that stirs things up, for sure! ;-)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Rachael, and I had hoped to pass on a few lessons...glad I managed to do that. :) Now, I need to kick my own butt and get busy. Have a wonderful day.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Maria, I love your positive support my friend. You always have a kind word to say to your friends, always so uplifting. Blessings to you always and of course, love.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bill, good morning and thank you. Enjoy the day my friend. It is the only July 3, 2014 you will experience.

    • word55 profile image

      Word 3 years ago from Chicago

      Great read billybuc. Sounds like you were born again. We're given a 2nd opportunity to live right and you've taken the it. Sensational title my friend. We're all God's product. Thanks for writing a remarkable aspect of your life.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you word55....unless we die and rebuild, we will never be the people we were meant to be. :)

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 3 years ago from Deep South, USA

      Bill - As usual, your analogies are terrific (pinball machine, reconstruction), and this entire essay is profound. You should be a syndicated columnist or at least publish a collection of your essays to reach the broadest audience possible.

      In fact, I can envision your life lessons being used in a classroom. Your writing style is cool enough to interest an older teen, and, who knows? The light bulb might actually go on for an astute youth who 'gets' your meaning. Anyone who learns from this type of writing rather than wasting years of life in the process of 'learning the hard way' (as too many people do) is a win.

      Voted Up, Useful, Awesome, Beautiful, Interesting/Shared

      Jaye

    • Barbara Kay profile image

      Barbara Kay Badder 3 years ago from USA

      I was curious to see to what your ending would be too. We are just working to the end of it all. Now that 2 of our friend's are dying, it makes my husband and I look at the end of our own lives. It is important to enjoy everyday.

    • sholland10 profile image

      Susan Holland 3 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      I could feel myself in your words. Oh, YOUTH! Why did we ever want to be adults when we were kids??? I am waiting for my rebirth now. :-)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      That was a great roller-coaster ride through your life and I love your use of well-chosen songs on the way.

      It's a good lesson to be learned and one which some of us are lucky to be aware of. Only the good die young but it doesn't mean we can't be good and come to our senses at the end, though it's always with the help of love.

      I love this and the title and intro certainly capture the attention!

      Brilliant, bill!

      Ann

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I figured it was a mistake, you have way to much left to teach me!

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 3 years ago from Pacific Northwest

      Oh, my very well written and the end was a surprise. Great work here Bill.

    • profile image

      DJ Anderson 3 years ago

      Very unique and thought provoking article. It seems the more you write, the more your mental capacity expands to see life from all different angles. Clarity, vision and implementation have developed

      with great acuity.

      When you take that last breath, you should be pleased with your advancements on this earthly plane. We are all an intricate part of something bigger; we are truly one.

      DJ.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jaye, thank you so much for the kind words. Believe me, if someone offered me a syndicated column I would take it in a heartbeat. I'll let you know when that happens. :)

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Barbara, not only enjoy it, but celebrate it....best wishes to you and thank you.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Susan, ain't that the truth....adulthood is wonderful, but man alive, it ain't what we thought it would be when we were kids. LOL Thanks for stopping by, Susan.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ann, I will take "brilliant" any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Thank you dear friend.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Eric, learn as quickly as you can. There ain't no guarantees of tomorrow as you well know.

      Thanks buddy.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Lori! Greatly appreciated.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      DJ, you used the word "acuity" in a comment. Wow, you must be a writer! :) I love it....and I am so damn proud to call you my friend...thank you.

      bill

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 3 years ago

      Whatya been smokin’, Bill. Has Goego been sharing the good stuff with you? You had me scared that you might have had a heart attack. I was really concerned and tense because I’d spent 2½ hours this morning composing a complaint to the VA about Mr. B’s nurse practitioner. Anyway, one day we will all make that final trip and see our lives pass before us in final judgment. Your take was interesting to say the least.

      Youth is wasted on the young (attributed to Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, et al) is such a trueism. When we get to the point where we know something about life, it is time to turn it over to the younger generation who, in turn, don’t know what they are doing. All we can do is look back and say that we did our best. This hub was a little different, my friend, but I liked it.

    • profile image

      bac2basics 3 years ago

      Wow Bill, all I can say is this was an awesome read. I am glad you are still here and have found all that contentment. Life can be a bitch at times, and lot´s of people never get to where you are right now, myself included. I hope I find it someday.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      MizB, I will never grow as a writer if I don't stretch my limits. I love different...I thrive on trying to expand in my craft...so I'm grateful for your comment. It means I was right on target. :) Thank you.

    • cecileportilla profile image

      Cecile Portilla 3 years ago from West Orange, New Jersey

      Great Hub Billybuc. Thank God that we are all alive. Of course we are not here forever. As such we really have to make each day meaningful. Thanks for the reminder to embrace each day and rejoice with each sunshine! The older I get the more I learn to appreciate life. Voted up!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you bac2basics. This type of writing is my first love...it doesn't sell well but it feeds my soul.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cecile, it's funny how that happens, isn't it? Age does bring an appreciation for all that we have. Thank you for the kind words, and I hope your day is a spectacular one.

    • heidithorne profile image

      Heidi Thorne 3 years ago from Chicago Area

      Dang! When I saw the title, I thought, "Cool, they have HubPages in heaven 'cause it looks like my boy, Billybuc, is posting from the great beyond." All kidding aside, living with the end in mind is a thoughtful way to live.

      I'm so glad you're still with us and are such a positive presence here on HP. Have a beautiful and enjoyable holiday weekend!

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Bill, a brilliant write!! But the way I see it, if we were given all the answers when we first embarked on our journey, there would be no point to the journey. I do agree that we should seize the day and live each one to the fullest and when the bell toll, we'll be ready to begin the next adventure. Exceptional work my friend, but I must get back to my book. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Heidi, you can be that I'll be writing long after I leave earth. What else would I do there? LOL Thank you for your kind words my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you, Jo, for your kind words. I do love the British use of "brilliant." Now, don't let me interrupt your reading any longer...carry on my friend, and blessings to you.

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 3 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      Awesome account bill, I have dreams along this vein now and then. I wrote about one of them some time back. It really is interesting when we get to that point, that we can look at all the folly with a smile and just be thankful.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Lucky you! A delightful dream, or was it a dream? Either way i loved reading your thoughts. Looking back i think of all the potholes and bumps in the road and rejoice that i'm still plugging away. Such a fun read, sharing on twitter.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 3 years ago

      You scared me at first, but then I realized where you were going. Living life to the fullest is the greatest gift of all. Up, useful, interesting, beautiful and awesome!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thankful indeed, Mark. Just damn grateful I survived. :) Thanks buddy.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Ruby. I thought you might enjoy this one.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks breakfastpop. I am alive and well, and grateful that you are here.

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 3 years ago

      Hi Bill.

      Dying is a beautiful experience, isn't it? Just like a dream, the last event everyone has to do alone. Thankfully, you have been given chance to wake up - like in a dream - while in reality it is very actual procedure: Once an order comes to leave the body… you've explain it in very correct order.[Once that happen to me and I can identify with.] Worth to think about.. Reading your article is fun , though not without serious dianoetic ;… since hey, some of us have read in an ancient recording ( I am not making this up- only my love is compelling me to say ): " And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes…" ( Everyone knows what comes)

      Thank God my friend you are here and we can share the secret of good news about the life of long time..

      Voted up and interesting.

      Have a blessed Independence Day celebration my friend.

    • Glenn Stok profile image

      Glenn Stok 3 years ago from Long Island, NY

      We are all dying a little at a time. I found this "dry run," as you call it, to be very useful. I think it's something everyone should do in their mind. Otherwise that day arrives when we least expect it and when we are not at all ready for it. We need to appreciate each day we have, and make the most of each day. And by the way, once again I enjoyed the way you brought out the sounds of the songs we grew up with. Yes, I could actually hear the music.

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 3 years ago from California

      Wow! Do you find yourself for saying "Wow" because of the amazing things you understand now, that you didn't know exist years ago.

      To life!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael my friend, I always enjoy your comments. Thank God for rebirth, and the wisdom to understand and appreciate the joys of life.

      Happy 4th of July to you and yours, Michael, and blessings always.

      bill

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Glenn. I was hoping someone would appreciate the references to songs....and you definitely appreciated the references to living life to the fullest. Have a very Happy 4th of July my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      tireless, life is a marvelous thrill ride, and I hope to enjoy it for quite some time. Thank you and Happy 4th of July to you and yours.

    • CyberShelley profile image

      Shelley Watson 3 years ago

      Loved your talk today Bill around "Life is really very simple, we just choose to make it complicated." A truth that becomes apparent and is one of the blessings of age, everything is so important when we are in our twenties, and as we age we realise that there is very little in life that is truly important, besides those we love. Glad your file was misplaced and to this end I wish you and Beverley a very happy and joyful 4th of July, and many, many more!

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      travmaj 3 years ago from australia

      Nostalgia for the past seems infectious in my circles. Personally I'm trying to avoid it. The camera lied. Can't dwell on regrets, thinking of those 'what if's' too late for that. Admittedly, it's been an interesting journey this far, can't discount the love and laughter. Thanks for the big reminder - the years have passed far to quickly, now to grasp the future days one by one and make every minute count. I fear I'm not ageing gracefully.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

      Another great hub Billy and voted up, across and shared.

      Sorry the comment is a little short but I am on a rush catching up with all hubbers since being away. Enjoy your day.

      Eddy.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      What a wonderful message Bill....and I love the way you got it across. Cheating death and looking back over your life. Absolutely loved the video too. Yes "Life is simple. We choose to make it difficult." Good old Confucius. Voted up.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, Shelley...Happy 4th to you and your family. Life is good my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      travmaj, I think aging gracefully is a myth...just my opinion. Who among us wants to admit that our days are numbered? Thank you for your honesty. I suspect you speak for many.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      No apologies necessary, Eddy. I can't imagine being away for weeks and then trying to catch up with my inbox. Best wishes to you dear friend.

      billy

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      John, it really is quite simple. We get up, we live our lives, we love.....everything else is window dressing my friend. Thank you and have a brilliant weekend.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      A beautiful hub from you and I so enjoyed reading.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you DDE. I greatly appreciate that.

    • bdegiulio profile image

      Bill De Giulio 3 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi Bill. Life really is like a pinball machine. Sometimes we feel in control and on top of the world. At other times we are getting kicked around and out of control. No matter what path our life takes it is short so make the most of the hand we are dealt. I hope my "movie" is a long and entertaining one. Have a great 4th.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Bill, I hope your movie breaks the theater record for longest-lasting. :) Thanks for stopping by on a holiday, and have a happy 4th of July.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey Bill, back again. This hub really made me watch this video of Johnny Cash singing 'Hurt'. This was probably his last recording before his death,and it is powerful stuff. http://youtu.be/3aF9AJm0RFc

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Great stuff, John. Thanks for sharing it.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      I am glad it was all a big paperwork problem, although I do feel sorry for the guy whose name was on it instead of yours.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      maa this was creative.. clever.. and I hung around just to see how it would end.. again clever :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...great comment, Flourish. Love it!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Frank. I'm have to let the creative side show every once in a while or I'll bust. :)

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 3 years ago from Philippines

      Well, Bill, I had a feeling you weren't dying because you were typing all this, and I saw all the photos and the video. I loved looking at photos of the younger Billybuc, and I staunchly believe you are gonna be in this earth, writing your delightful hubs for many years to come, continually bringing readers to the good in life.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

      This really got me thinking. Funny ending.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mona, that was kind of a clue, wasn't it? LOL Thank you and I sure hope you are correct. I still have a lot of words still in me that need to be written.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks vkwok...I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 3 years ago from Scotland

      Great title, great intro, the nickel episode was genius and you topped it all off with a very clever 'it was just a mistake' ending.

      You ticked all the boxes!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      So glad you enjoyed this, Anna. I need to do creative writing from time to time to stay sharp, and I really appreciate your affirmation.

      bill

    • Lisawilliamsj profile image

      Lisa Williams 3 years ago

      Wow, Bill...I wish there was an amazing button up there because that is exactly what this is... I do not know how you always do it, but you always write exactly what I need to hear...I am kind of glad that I did not have time to read this when you first wrote it, because I really needed it today! Thank you for writing this beautiful, amazing Hub!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Lisa. I wish I could reach out and give you a hug. I think you really need one right now.

    • Ann1Az2 profile image

      Ann1Az2 3 years ago from Orange, Texas

      You had me going there for a minute, but then I had to read on to find out what really happened, which of course was the whole point in the first place. Very well done, Bill. I like your creative writing, but this has a lesson in it, too which didn't escape me. It's a wonderful thing to finally find peace. I enjoyed the video, too.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      it really is, Ann. Now the secret is to hold onto that peace for the rest of my life. :) Thanks for your thoughts and kind words.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 3 years ago from Texas

      Wow, Bill I was shocked, did you have an out of body experience?

      I read about a little girl who has out of body experiences and she paints pictures of what she saw in heaven.

      Akiane Kramarik child prodigy. ... Drawing Heaven by Akiane Kramarik. I lOve Jesus Christ ...

      Thumbs-up UABI and shared

    • rdsparrowriter profile image

      rdsparrowriter 3 years ago

      Oh wow bill ! This is awesome! I of course thought you had a near death experience from the title. Thoughtful videos. Up and shared :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Shyron! No, just a vivid dream I think, but it was enough to inspire this.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you rdsparrowriter...I am happy to report that I am alive and well.

    • mathira profile image

      mathira 3 years ago from chennai

      Billy,

      I was shocked by your title, but was pleasantly interested in the way you had written about life. Very inspiring! Very much from the heart!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Always from the heart, Mathira. Thank you my friend.

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      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Your story is just the opposite of mine. I didn't start with the bang and the whisper, how to grow, what the see and do. I started like a tornado and have been ring those winds ever since. Maybe I fell off the bandwagon a few times, but I got up, and I'm still riding. But now, I'm not the passenger. I'm driving and I'm going where I want to go. I'm going to end when I'm good and ready. I'll watch you from my vantage point in a tree, sitting next to the birds and grinning. Just watch where you step, because I just might drop a surprise...

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Deb, you crack me up, and you also speak truths in every comment. Your success story is a joy to behold. Keep on keeping on my friend.

    • savvydating profile image

      savvydating 2 years ago

      Fascinating. The title alone grabbed my attention right off... but you intended it that way, of course. No doubt, you've found yourself nearer to the brink than you cared to be. But now, at last, everything is coming together. Finally, many of us learn the hard, hard lessons of life. I loved this piece. So easy to read---so thought compelling. Voting Up.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much, savvydating....a little creative writing exercise with a message tossed in for free. Tough lessons seem to be the only ones I learn. :) I respond well to pain.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      This is wonderful bill, happy birthday, voted up and shared! thought it was appropriate, seeing as its your birthday and the title....well you get the point! lol!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I do get the point, Nell, and I'm happy as hell that I'm alive to say thank you for the birthday wishes. :)

    • sasanka7 profile image

      sasanka7 2 years ago from Calcutta, India

      Very nice hub....great evaluation of life. ..awesome.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you sasanka...greatly appreciated.

    • monia saad profile image

      monia ben saad 2 years ago from In my Dream

      I enjoyed reading. Really great article. Already it is necessary to learn from previous experiences. Thank you for everything

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you very much, Monia! I appreciate it.

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