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Improve Your Life Learning To Love And Accept Yourself

Updated on December 3, 2015

We All Deserve To Be Happy, Accepted And Loved.

The start of the year, our birthday or a major event in our life is the ideal time to think about what we have achieved until now and what we want for the future. It is the best time to think about all the things that we could do to improve ourselves and our experiences. Most of us want to be happier, richer, slimmer, stronger, more successful, more seductive, and more capable at this or that. But at the end, it all comes to basic needs, like the need to be happy, accepted and loved. Different people achieve this state through different paths. For some a new career, for others a change of partner, stopping a bad habit, doing voluntary work, having a child, the list is infinite. Every person has her own particular way to feel happy.

Love Yourself

Be Happy Accepting Your Body and Loving it.

Accepting yourself the way you are is one of the most difficult tasks that we have. As the joke goes when we are little girls we want to grow up and have big boobs, when we grow up we hate our boobs for being too big and when we finally come to accept them and love them… it is too late nature has taken its course and they need lifted!

For some people, especially young women, being happy means being in harmony with their bodies, liking what they see in the mirror. The trick however, is not just liking what you see but accepting yourself the way you are. As we grow up we have a tendency to be more contented with our bodies and value ourselves more for our personal traits than for our looks. What we do not realize is that other people, especially our friends and family see us for who we are and not much for how we look. If you don’t believe this just try the following experiment; ask your best friend or sister to describe you. Give her a piece of paper and let her write down how she sees you, ask her to be concise to write down the 10 characteristics that best describe you. You do the same for her. When you are finished, compare notes. How did your friend describe you? I am sure that from the 10 characteristics that she wrote about you less than 5 refer to your physique. Isn’t that enough to convince you that people around you see you as a person and not just as a body?

Body Image Statistics

If You Are Having Trouble With Your Body Image Here Are 10 Tips that Will Help You to accept and love yourself.

1) Every morning try to think about all the things that your body allows you to do. For example, your body allows you to walk, to breathe, to dance, to laugh. Make up your own list. It is about waking up and being thankful because you are in full use of your limbs, because you have your eyesight and your sense of smell. Think about it, think how lucky you are, think about all the things that you take for granted but are so essential in your everyday life.

2) Make a list of 10 things that you like about yourself and have nothing to do with your physical appearance. Re-read and re-write this list quite often.

Vanessa Paradis.  Beautiful and talented French actress/singer.
Vanessa Paradis. Beautiful and talented French actress/singer.

3) Remind yourself that beauty is a state of mind. If you are happy with yourself, if you think yourself pretty and sexy then other people will believe it too. Look at the French actress and singer Vanessa Paradis, she is very talented and in her own way pretty but she is by no means perfect –look at her teeth- But Johnny Depp is head over heels about her, as well as a good percentage of the French male population!

4) Be less perfectionist with your body. There are some things that you will never be able to change about your body, even plastic surgery has its limitations; so you better learn to accept yourself the way you are.

5) When you look at yourself in the mirror, look at the whole self. Remember, people look at you as a person, they don’t look only at your nose or your hips; they see the whole package. Do the same, look at yourself entirely not by little bits.

6) Surround yourself with positive people. Avoid those so called friends that are always criticizing you, break up with that abusive partner; leave that job where they are always putting you down. Instead surround your self with caring people who love you for who you are, people who support you and can share your achievements.

7) Demand respect from the people around you. Do not let your partner call you “fatty”, “jelly bean” or any other denigrating pet name. Demand respect in your workplace, just because your boss pays you doesn’t mean he can treat you badly!

8) Wear clothes that suit your body shape. Hiding under layers of oversized black t-shirts and leggings do not make you look your best. Wear clothes that enhance your shape and give you confidence.

9) Do not let yourself be manipulated by society or the media. Say no to all the canons of beauty that the media want to force onto us. I personally like the Dove campaign for real women, because they are not imposing a body shape that most women cannot attain without living on a can of diet coke and a salad a day. The Dove campaign emphasises that women come in different shapes and we are all beautiful.

10) Help other people. Instead of spending hours planning your menus or exercising to death in the gym, why not do some voluntary work. Rather than just thinking about yourself, do something for other people. You will be amazed at the amount of satisfaction and self-confidence that you can obtain from helping others.

Feeling Divine

Improving Your Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem

Improve your self-esteem disarming that negative inner voice that attacks and judges you.


Some Inspiring Quotes:

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.” “Love yourself, for if you don't, how can you expect anybody else to love you?

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”. Oscar Wilde

I am a feminist, and what that means to me is much the same as the meaning of the fact that I am Black: it means that I must undertake to love myself and to respect myself as though my very life depends upon self-love and self-respect”

Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can”. Richard Bach

“I don't like myself, I'm crazy about myself”. Mae West


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    • profile image

      naturalsolutions 6 years ago

      Thank you for gathering that inspiring quotes. Loving ourselves is the life time romance we could ever had. So deep words.

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 7 years ago from France

      embee77: thanks for sharing your experience, and all the best to you!

      FirstStepsFitness: I really hope it helps people to come to terms with themselves and be happier.

      Eiddwen: Thank you for reading and sharing your experience. We are never too late to learn from our mistakes and insecurities. I am happy to read that even when it took you a very long time to resolve your personal issues, you managed to do it.


    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 7 years ago from Wales

      This hub is so close to my heart and so well written. I have now finally learnt to accept myself after a horrendous first half a century and a lot of tragedy. However I have bought something positive from it all and you're correct it is never too late. I am now living happily with a lovely partner and for the first time ever I have self confidence and I have learnt to love myself! Thank you so much for your hub.

    • FirstStepsFitness profile image

      FirstStepsFitness 7 years ago

      Very nice Hub ! I agree with some of the comments this will help many ages alike ....:)

    • embee77 profile image

      embee77 7 years ago

      This is wonderful advice - very practical and realistic. I couldn't agree more on the effect of the media - it's practically unethical what advertisers do to women and girls. I, too, am just working out some life-long issues and feeling like a new person. My basic insecurities weren't so much related to my body image as to self consciousness about appearing stupid because I have learning differences. Your Tips are fantastic for anyone who suffers from what I call self unsteem. The rewards of working through the problems are immeasurable. Check out my take on the issue. I'd love to know what you think.

    • nikki1 profile image

      nikki1 7 years ago

      Nicely done :D

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 7 years ago from France

      RecoverToday: You are right, accepting and loving yourself is a difficult task, it requires time and patience. Like any kind of love it needs to be nurtured constantly, but the benefits are enormous. Thanks for commenting.

    • RecoverToday profile image

      RecoverToday 7 years ago from United States

      A very good article. I'm glad I found it. Learning to love yourself is easier said than done. I struggled for years with a poor self image. Thanks for a good article.

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 7 years ago from France

      Maria Elena: just trying to spread out the benefits of dancing :)

      Wavegirl22: thanks for your comment. It certainly does make a difference to add some dance to your live. I am hoping this hub helps to initiate more people into dancing.

      Hammerj: Thank you!

    • Hammerj profile image

      Hammerj 7 years ago from Cebu City

      Wow nice article..I will follow what you will write..

    • wavegirl22 profile image

      Shari 8 years ago from New York, NY

      What an amazing Hub . .it is so good and has such important information that I think it should be a mandatory read for every teenage girl out there!

    • MaryElena profile image

      MaryElena 8 years ago

      I think you said everything perfectly.

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 9 years ago from France

      Thanks Sukkran, I just would like people to be happier and accepting yourself is a start to a happier life :)

    • sukkran profile image

      Mohideen Basha 9 years ago from TRICHY, TAMIL NADU, INDIA.

      hi, princessa. it is a lovely hub. i appreciate your work.


    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 9 years ago from France

      Brian and newsworthy : Thanks for stopping to comment.

      Mistyhorizon: To love and accept ourselves is one of the most dificult things to do. It takes constant work and also support from the people around you. Thanks for your nice words :)

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 9 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      These words of advice are so true, and it is not always easy to love ourselves or our bodies. Great words of inspiration here Princessa, well done, you are not just beautiful on the outside, but also on the inside :)

    • profile image

      newsworthy 9 years ago

      Good suggestions here.

    • BrianS profile image

      Brian Stephens 9 years ago from Castelnaudary, France

      Another uplifting hub, appreciate it.

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 9 years ago from France

      Tracy J: Yes, share it with all the women you know, your wife, sisters, daughters, friends, the more the better. Thanks. Crazymomma: This is quite an educational site from the Dove self-esteem found. It is aimed to girls aged 8+ Have a look with your daughter: They have some excellent resources. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

    • crazymomma of4 profile image

      crazymomma of4 9 years ago

      Princessa- Wow! This is fantastic!! You hit the nail right on the head girl...I love the before and after photo shots. those pictures spoke a "billion" words to me. Technology has come so far by leaps and bounds not to mention the insane amounts of money that was used to back it to help hospitals, research and other worthy causes but when I see things like this I wonder how much money was spent on the technology to do that could have been spent on the sick, needy, opressed, depressed, abused, the list is endless! I cannot wait to show the pictures to my teenage daughter so that she can see the truth behind some of those magazine covers...thank you so much!

    • Tracy J profile image

      Tracy J 9 years ago from Missouri

      Awesome hub Princessa. Had the wife read it and she loved it.

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 9 years ago from France

      jonixk : You are very kind with your comment. Thanks.

      Misha, Dottie, anjalichugh , : Love you too :) I am happy you can feel the love I try to send.

      Triplet Mom: Yes, sometimes in our effort to be good daughters, good wives, good mothers, we forget about the most important person: us.

      SweetiePie : Body image is a constant battle, especially for women whose bodies are constantly changing due to adolescence, motherhood, age, health issues etc. The thing is that you need to accept yourself so others start accepting you. Thanks for sharing your experience I hope that in one way or another we can help young girls to learn to love and accept themselves.

      Benson!!! always honoured to have you around :)

    • Benson Yeung profile image

      Benson Yeung 9 years ago from Hong Kong

      What better way to start the new year than to read your hubs.

      Keep them coming please.

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 9 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Your hub will be inspiring to many younger women and older women this year. I know for years I have struggled with body image and I still do today to some degree. It is so much more important to eat healthy, exercise, then to aspire to some impossible ideal. I used to be the girl that drank diet cokes and subsided on salads for lunch, so I can definitely relate to how women struggle with this. You are a beautiful and lovely lady that shows everyone how to be healthy and not head in the clouds. Great hub.

    • Triplet Mom profile image

      Triplet Mom 9 years ago from West Coast

      Princessa, this is probably the most difficult thing to do but oh so important. Sometimes we forget to focus on ourselves and that should be number 1. What a lovely and love filled hub. Thanks.

    • anjalichugh profile image

      anjalichugh 9 years ago from New York

      Love is in the air! That's what you make me feel each time I visit your hub. Your content is always full of color, hope, happiness and light. Thx and keep doing it.

    • Dottie1 profile image

      Dottie1 9 years ago from MA, USA

      There is always a lot of love going on in Princessa's hubs. It is a joy to come visit. :)

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 9 years ago from DC Area

      Love ya Wendy :)

    • jonixk profile image

      jonixk 9 years ago from Lisbon

      This is one of the best hubs I'ever read in hubpages. Congratulations Princessa, it's not easy to find so much inspiration, like you do in this text. By the way, i think you avatar photo is very beautiful (don't "kill me" please, :) )

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 9 years ago from France

      It takes a long time to come to terms with our bodies and it takes a lot of maturity to love and accept yourself. It is never to early or too late to start.



    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 9 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Hi Princessa, what a beautiful way to start the new year! And to continue growing as a person by loving and accepting ourselves. :-) Thanks for this hub!