"Turning 60 Tomorrow - What's In Store?"

In precisely 16 hours, when the clock gears slip into their proper midnight slots, I will be 60 years of age. Why is the fact I will be 60 years old tomorrow morning so difficult for me to accept?

I've prepared a list designed to help me and others suffering through this ordeal at the very least, to cope, and at best, to thrive throughout the so named "golden years."

I live with a 'bad' back, shoulder, knee and my eyesight is getting worse by the day. Seems as though the only time I'm not in some form of pain is when I sleep.

Pal up with your family doctor and dentist, because you will see him/her regularly.

Get used to the idea that MRIs, colonoscopies, mammograms, dental work, eye exams will be prescribed–OFTEN! Complaining about these necessities will only make those around you take a quick exit from your presence.

This frustrating reality is a part of turning 60 . . . accept it.

There is little you can do to combat forgetting what your mate said to you only 30 minutes before. Although this is a progressive ailment, getting more brain to your oxygen . . . make that, 'more oxygen to your brain' is possible through exercise and approved supplements. And lest I forget...

You are NOT 30 anymore, and you're not trying out for the Olympics! TAKE IT EASY, or, at least, take it easier. You're body is in a state of decline now. You are quickly losing muscle mass and endurance.

Weight lifting is a necessity for us 60 year old wonders, but we cannot bench press 350 pounds, or curl 200 pounds these days. Use light weights and aim for increased repetitions. The idea is to tone your body, not to become Mr. or Ms. Universe.

As I turn 60, I am noticing gravity has taken its toll on my once-beautiful, flawless and non-wrinkled skin. I now see ugly spots, bumps—other ornery things that just simply show up EVERY day, and I hate 'em.

Trying to ward off these growing armies of skin attackers is useless, especially if you've spent a lot of time in the sun. In my younger days, I was a sun worshiper. I always sported a tanned, "healthy" appearance. Little did I know the consequences would be so severe.

Oh yeh - I forgot the chicken neck look. Isn't that a wondrous, comely, facial feature to behold? Plastic surgery helps with this hen-hinged hang, but the latest procedure only holds lift for 2 years or so, and you're back where you started. Save your money for other things like . . .

Turning 60 years old:

1. I have come to realize I am going to hurt.
2. I will never look 25 again.
3. I am beginning to lose memory.
4. I can't lift 500 pounds over my head.
5. And I sport spots and other formidable skin terminators, but I can still enjoy life!

The absolute, number 1 on the list of worst decisions a 60 year old person makes, is GIVE UP!

Never, never give up.

I know you hurt–tie those exercise shoes, walk out your door to the car where you will drive to the gym for a workout. Lack of exercise, or worse, NO exercise will allow muscle atrophy to set in.

Before you reach the age of 70, you'll be depending on a cane or wheelchair to make your way around the house. Take care of that 60 year old body and by the time you reach that next milestone, you will be in a healthy position to still enjoy an active life.

• Remember to exercise your brain . . . read a book, or write one! Hey, there's an idea.
• Become active in your church.
• Go to a casino and feed the slots: Just remember, those one-armed bandits stay hungry and they seldom pay for their food (think about it; the humor is there.)

Wow, the countdown continues: I'm now waiting only 14 hours to meeting Mister Age 60. I sure hope he turns out to be a nice guy!

THIS HUB WAS WRITTEN ON AUGUST 2, 2012.