- Women's Health
Infertility. A Success Story
Could it really have happened to us?
When the doctors said to us 10 years ago that we could not have children naturally, we were both absolutely devastated. This sort of thing happened to other people, not us surely.
But there, plain to see were the test results. Without treatment there was no hope in hell. My wife was suffering from Polycicstic Ovary Syndrome, and as such needed surgery. The operation came and went, but after several courses of drugs, nothing was happening. The spontaneity of our love was gone, reduced to clock watching for the right day of the week initially, then the right hours of the day...
It was at this stage that we embarked on I.V.F. After seeing doctor after doctor and laying our most private thoughts for all to see, they agreed to let us start the process. All we had to do was come up with the £4000 needed for all the drugs and treatments. The initial fun of having to inject my wife in the buttocks wore thin after the first couple of weeks I can assure you.
The first attempt failed. Nothing took hold, nothing grew, and we both felt like total failures. WE scraped together both out tattered nerves and our final reserves of cash, and headed for one more try the following year. After a tense few weeks, the pregnancy test came, then the 2nd, then the 3rd just to be sure. It was positive!
If you thought the story was going to end happily there, think again. We miscarried on my 30th birthday. Let me tell you this, I believe in God, but my faith was severely tested over those dark days. It was at this point we said no more, enough, and we began to look to the future without the thought of children in it.
It would be easy for me as a man to say, well, its no big deal. But you can only lie to yourself for so long, and we both knew it. We looked into adoption, but selfishly as 2 professional people, we could not bring ourselves to do it. Besides, life was OK wasn't it?
The Present Day
Fast forward 5 years. Change of scenery. New country, fresh start without the baggage and hangups. We both got healthy, lots of exercise, eating better, drinking less, and certainly 100% less stress in our lives. We were truly LIVING again.
Neither of us thought anything of it when my wife missed here period. It was only after 8 weeks that we thought something was amiss. One trip to the chemist later and there we were again, looking at a strange shaped item waiting for a blue cross to appear. And there it was, vivid, bold and smack in the middle of the viewing window. One big fat happy blue cross.
After we had gone through the now familiar but distant ritual of repeating the test 4 or 5 more times, we arranged to see the doctor, then the midwife, then suddenly the first scan appeared. To see our child moving around on the ultrasound screen changed everything from that moment forth. I am sitting here writing with tears in my eyes as I remember it.
Time raced ahead, the 2nd scan showed that everything appears to be normal, and we were on track for a February baby. I really had to pinch myself most days, because neither of us could really believe that after so much heartache and pain, we would finally have our little miracle.
Scared ? Me ?
Am I scared, of course I am . Its a big deal, even after all this time. My thoughts are racing ahead to far off events I never thought I would have to deal with, boyfriends, girlfriends, will they be happy and successful, will I be a good dad, perhaps even a great one? So many questions, so few answers at this moment in time.
But my fears aside, hand on heart, we must be 2 of the luckiest, blessed people alive today. And if trying hard for what we want, and holding things dear to us close in our hearts counts for anything, this will be the most loved and supported child in the whole of the Earth.
20th February 2011, 7,53pm european time, Malin Lisa was born to the world, and to two eager (but tired) parents. Life changed in an instant, the very moment I looked into her eyes and held her for the first time. She has my wife's red hair, which is a blessing, and is perfect and healthy in every single way.
I don't pretend to know what the future will hold for this little angel, but I will do my damned best to make sure she gets every advantage in life she can, and that she gets the opportunity to shape her own destiny with the full support of both her parents.
Thank you for reading. For those of you having difficulties, never give up, and I hope that you might find some solice in this article.
Worth the Wait!
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