The Real Reason You Are Not Accomplishing Your Goals
Fearing the Road Less Traveled?
The word FEAR alone induces intimidation, angst, and sometimes paralysis of the mind and soul. An unpleasant emotion that is caused by a strong belief that someone or something is dangerous; likely to inflict pain, or possibly threaten us.
The emotion causes us stress--fight or flight. Signals of imbalance, dread and reverence that detains us from fulfilling our dreams, hopes and desires. It paralyzes our minds, bodies and even our souls giving us an anxiety that builds inside disallowing us to move on, let go and live.
Fear can lead to failure, or lack of success resulting in what I find dreadful---stagnation and inability to act. It defeats you before you even try. It creates a boundary of weakness and instability; it seals your fate.
How do we turn this fear of failing into a courageous sense of discovery, real experiences designed to self promote our passions, strengths and abilities?
1. What's The Real Issue?
Self discovery, for me, is timeless, forgiving, necessary and the ultimate pursuit of happiness. It has no boundaries, limits or opinions. It just is what you are, been and will be.
Fear cripples our psyche--if we let it. It sometimes owns and corrupts our conscious.
However, discovering oneself is the only way we can ultimately know what it is to find that enlightened bliss that gets us through any obstacle in life. Yes, I believe that. Do you?
And as we seek more of that, we realize that the excuses, victim-like mentalities, chaos, depression and anxieties that sabotage us are actually figments of a fearful imagination that we let control us.
The real issues lie within us. As we spiral out of control following fear around, holding us back from fulfilling our true lives, we lose part of our spiritual beings.
Combat it by asking yourself:
1. Where does my fear stem from?
2. How can I let this fear go?
3. Why do I let it take over me?
4. How can I catch myself before it consumes me?
5. What can I do to never let fear control me again?
Self talk sessions work. It's an internal reminder that you control fear, not the other way around.
What Choice Will You Make?
2. Choose To Live Fear Free
Fear invokes being afraid of life. Most of the time it is a choice to live in fear. But, for some, and in an awkward way, it sometimes feels safe so nothing is done to eliminate it.
For example, you may "fear" quitting your job because you need the paycheck and have worked at your employer for decades and that's all you know, but at the same time, you feel "safe" and satisfied with that sense of security, but fear the thought of never working on your real passions or achieving real success.
Are you ruled by fear? Is fear of failing taking over your life? Are you afraid to even attempt a leap of faith or something that you feel can benefit you in life? Is your fear based more on a false sense of security or lack of knowing how and when to even take the leap?
Simply and purposely reject fear from taking over you. I know what you are thinking, easier said than done--that's up to you.
Be the dominant force in your own life. Reject fear from doubting yourself. Steer clear of negative speaking people that practice their fear on you and never taste success for their own. In my opinion, anyone that has never succeeded in anything has no right to preach and speak into your life.
The choice is yours. You have the choice to combat fear by living your life and refusing to let fear rule you.
3. Build A Positive Self Image
Self assessment is a gift we can all give ourselves and I often think it's overlooked. In my past and current experiences, it's a gift I am fond and appreciative of. A cross-examination between your mind, body and soul; a deep analysis of the person you were meant to be. The reflection of your innate qualities, abilities and talents manifested speak volumes of the real YOU.
Build a positive self image with assessments that take patience and diligence. Discovering what truly makes you tick in life is refreshing, exciting and inspiring; embrace it.
Take notes of your every day actions, beliefs, thoughts, decisions, reactions and opinions. Stop yourself from having the world dictate to you who you should be. Take inventory of your spiritual portfolio and remove fear and replace it with courage.
Get that mirror, look in it, and say, "I am special!"
4. Assess Your Current Situation
Is it really that bad, is the one question I ask myself when I feel my current situation is taking over me and it always pulls my life right back in perspective. It is the brake in my head that stops me from defeating myself.
Have you really put your situation in perspective? Is the world going to end because you did or did not do something?
Take the situation and break it down. Ask questions. Take actions and stick to it knowing that you have done everything you could to do the right thing. Perhaps it is a matter of direction, timing, mentoring, education or effort. Perhaps you need to take a break. Face your fears head on. The worst that can happen is that you make a mistake--oh wow, what a thought? They happen, right? It's the only way we can rectify and learn!
You have to understand that fear never goes away. It is part of life and we must always know that the situation will arise when we must go through it in order to get over it.
5. Meditate On It
Fear can be combated with a specific thought process. A concentrated effort of thought--meditation.
Meditation removes the negative forces in your mind and body. It repels it. It guides you with positive energy forces in your mind to free yourself from what keeps you down.
Meditation is planned mentally, spiritually and in silence. In times of fear, calming your fears means calming your mind through reflection:
- Find that place of solitude to reflect.
- Close your eyes.
- Visualize that place of strength and serenity.
- Breathe: Inhale deep. Exhale strong.
- Repeat 1-4
How do you feel?
6. Have Faith In Yourself
Faith, in my opinion, is the opposite of fear.
Having faith is having trust and confidence; which as you can see defeats fear in its track. Don't get me wrong, we all have moments of confidence and courage, but the fear still lingers. For example, having to give a public speech or performance, asking for a raise, etc. However, faith and trust in yourself crushes fear. In addition, there are many times you just have to do it afraid and that's when faith takes over.
Keep the faith.
7. Find A Solution (s)
Solving the issue, problem or concern that causes the fear sets you up for success.
It allows you now to move forward. The fear is left behind and the solutions fulfill a need. The need for you to pursue what you want.
Solutions liberate you from holding on to fear and correct your actions. Fear dissipates and is lessened as you put your calculated solutions in play.
And finally, Action!
Honestly, my theme for this year is ACTION. Why? Because it speaks volumes once you have done all the above and now you are ready to conquer.
At this point, fear is not an option. Fear scatters as you take a risk, but that's living and growing in life. It is the innate sense of discovery that shines through you.
Act out against fear. Do not allow fear to shrink you.
Let faith, action, self-assessment and solutions be your elixir against fear.
Fear may hold you back, but taking these steps will spring you forward.
The only mistake you should be fearful of is not trying.