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It's Not About the Absence of Fear : It's About Overcoming it

Updated on May 23, 2013

A letter

I remember watching "Princess Diaries" when I was young. In the movie, Mia's father wrote her a letter where in he quoted Ambrose Redmoon. He said, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." I never really understood what it meant then. But after I watched the movie as a high school student, everything else made sense.

How do you overcome fear?

Success will never come to us if we live our lives in fear of the world. We must learn to face our fears. Of course, this will not be easy. But is there anything worthwhile that comes easy? So, how can we overcome fear?

1. Acknowledge It

Many of us would rather avoid a fear because of embarrassment of it. But this method will never help you get over it. It's always easier to say that we're not afraid of something. We're scared that we'll get laughed at. But we have to find it ourselves to put overcoming fear over our pride. Know that there is nothing wrong of admitting that you're scared of it. Acknowledgement is the first step to solving a problem. After all, if you refuse to recognize that there is something wrong, how can you address it?

2. Define Your Fear

Knowing exactly what your fear is will help you find out exactly why you're afraid of it. When did you start being afraid of it? How does your fear influence your life? How does it affect you? How scared are you of it? What part of it scares you? Why do you think it does? It's always best to know what you're up against before going into it.

3. Why do you want to be free of this fear?

Think about why you don't want to have this fear anymore. What does it hinder you from doing? What will you be able to do without it? How important is it to you that you get rid of it?

4. Imagine You Without It

Think about how easier life would be without it. Think about all the other things you could do without it. Do you like the image of you without this fear? Do you want your life to be closer to that image? If yes, use this as a motivation to face your fears.

5. Try to understand your fear

Getting to know more about your fear will help you uncover what it really is. Maybe discovering more aspects about it will actually make it less scary for you. Exposing yourself to the thought of it might help you become more used to it. Understanding your fears might not solve all the problems. But it will definitely help you see the bigger picture of it.

6. Plan What You're Going to Do About it

It is important to have direction in the process of overcoming fear. Think about what it is that you really want to achieve. From there, plan what you wish to do about it; how you're going to get there. It's like a road map to overcoming your fears.

7. Begin

The first step to overcoming anything is to begin. Nothing will ever happen to your plans if you just stay there. The plans aren't going to put themselves into action. They need you to do the work. If you don't begin, when will it ever start? It doesn't matter if you start with baby steps. Progress is still progress. You're one step closer today than you were yesterday. You're closer to the goal than you ever were before.

8. Keep Going

There will be times when you'll feel frustrated. That's completely okay and normal. Don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes, you may feel like you're going nowhere; like it's all just a static process. But know that that isn't true. It may not be noticeable now, but there definitely is a change taking place. Know that change is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. Be patient. No matter how hard things get, you have to press on and believe. It doesn't matter if they're baby steps for as long as you keep on going. After all, you've already made it this far. Why not go all the way?

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