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Letting Go of "Punching Bags"

Updated on January 28, 2019

How to fight smart instead of "fighting stupid"

My spiritual journey in life so far has led me to reflect on past experiences where I tended to put people down, either to their faces directly or in my own mind.

As I matured, I asked the question of myself more and more: Why do I need to do this? What is the root cause?

I'll give you an example where I felt like I was in the opposite situation, at least initially. My ex husband and I go to coparenting counseling regularly. Historically, I was the ex spouse with the low energy and vulnerability that had stemmed from my inner demons that I am currently conquering.

My ex would bring this up often at the coparenting sessions. Every little criticism he could muster up that would throw me under the bus in front of the counselor, he verbalized. I actually got so frustrated during one appointment, which happened to coincide with the explosive Uranus-Pluto square on March 17, 2015, that I told my ex and the counselor a few choice words, and stormed out of her office! The consequences of that day almost resulted in me being terminated from counseling services.

In time, I gained wisdom, and realized I needed to expel my demons to raise my own vibration so I could let go of the need to 'fight stupid'.

Fighting smart means one directs his or her energy towards positive goals. For example, instead of focusing on what was wrong with my ex, I focused on what was right about his criticisms, even if exaggerated. I channeled the angry emotion into a spark that inspired me to transform.

I could not control my ex, the counselor, or anyone else; but I could control myself. What I had control over, was to inspire through a transformation into a NEW ME.

That energy showed at our last appointment, which was a month ago. I updated the counselor on my recent career change and how much happier I was for making this change. My ex continued to criticize every little decision I made, from buying gifts, or 'bribes' as he called it, for my kids out of my sheer gratitude and generosity, and resented the fact he took the kids extra during the last 18 months when I focused my energy on getting better.

I let go of any need to defend. I let my transformation speak for itself. My new energy, health and mission in life were all I needed.


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