- Mental Health
Life Lessons: Most of the "Stuff" is Little Stuff
How many times have you fretted and stewed and worried and chewed your nails over something?
How many times has that helped change the outcome of anything?
Yeah, nada. I have done it too but over the years, I have finally learned that this is a waste of my time and energy .... it serves me better to take things in stride...fix what I can and be ever hopeful that things will work out as they should.
No Worries Here.
If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.— Robert Fulghum
Mr. Fulghum put it all into perspective with his words. The little stuff may cause us to feel a bit flustered but after all is said and done it is just little stuff.
There are probably times that you can think of that you have gotten very upset over something that just was one of those things that will happen. One of those nuisance happenings that upset your day and make you tight-jawed. Do any of the following sound vaguely familiar?
- Your zipper breaks and you are already late for work.
- You break a heel on your favorite Jimmy Choos or scuff your Barker Blacks if you all are in to upscale shoes. (I actually wear flip flops ---they come in all styles with or without lots of bling….and most are not in the league price-wise with Choo or Black…but a crisis to me is when one of them comes apart I probably overreact. It is s a bit embarrassing to be trying to navigate through the store with your shoe flapping in the breeze.)
- You break a nail after visiting the salon. or after you have carefully painted them.
- You spend all day dusting and mopping and then everyone marches through the house with muddy shoes.
- The toast burns that was going to be breakfast.
Why did this happen today?
There are more of these frustrating times.
- Someone knocks over the container of tomato soup in the fridge and the lid comes off…what a mess.
- The soda you put in the freezer to chill quickly was forgotten…an explosion is now evident when you open the door.
Ever had one of these days? Ever had one where they all happen within hours of each other?
How do you react?
Absolutely totally lose your mind?
All of a sudden you think;
Why can’t things just go right, for once?
Get over it. Tomorrow's another day.
Love Love Love Richard Carlson's Books
Hopefully there is more bread...
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
You might not need 20 minutes....but this could work. You are annoyed so fume and carry on a bit. It sometimes is a great way to dump it.
There have been times when I am one of those. One of those who completely overact out of proportion to the STUFF that happens. So when I say, GET OVER IT, it serves as a reminder to me too. It just does not matter if the person gets the parking space that was going to be mine.
The parking lot is full of other spaces. It just is not important.
It does not matter that someone with a grocery cart rushes to get ahead of me at the store. As a matter of fact, I often motion them ahead of me as many times they seem to be about to miss some important engagement if I do not let them go ahead of me (even though I only have a few items in my cart). It just does not matter. I can wait.
It was not always this way with me. There have been times when I totally was bent out of shape because some trivial thing happened that inconvenienced me. In hindsight, for the life of me I cannot figure out why it was so important.
Somehow I have learned to GET OVER IT. Wasting one moment on silly issues would be a shame on me kind of situation. What a waste of some precious moments that I could be using to focus on the loveliness of my day.
Scream and holler if you must
Allow yourself to be p***** off and then move on.
It is okay to acknowledge that something annoys us. We are after all human.
Face it, recognize it, whine, complain----whatever works for you, and, then let go of it. Try to do your whining and screaming and hollering away from others.
Sticky wet mess..caught in the nick of time before it got any worse
Who or what is in control?
Somehow you get through each crisis. You get through the rest of the day with or without something else happening that may make you wish you had stayed in bed all day. Eventually, you make it to bed and do fall asleep thrilled that this day is over!
The good news is: the sun comes up the next day~~~
And you may or may not recall the day from Perdition. If you dwell on negatives, you may be all set to have another day like that one.
We know stuff happens, you deal with it, and all is good in your little corner of the world.
Some day, more stuff will happen and once again you will need to decide whether you let it ruin your day or laugh it off. You can let the situation control your feelings for the rest of the day or you control it.
Do not try this in your kitchen!!!!
Can I do something about this STUFF?
Things that you can change, stuff that you can 'fix'....do it.
The rest of the 'stuff'...let go of it...find a way to cope.
If you are stuck in traffic, screaming and honking your horn will not make cars move any faster and may cause some to rage on you.
Don't lose one minute trying to fix what it is not possible to correct.
Does it matter?
The small stuff is sometimes what causes us grief. Misplaced keys, the proverbial spilled milk, deleting a draft of our work or an important message--whatever it is can cause a bit of temporary frustration on our part.
Granted they are inconvenient. We may be late for work, have to spend money on repairs, take time to clean up, tend to the issue or issues at hand.
And at least one of them will happen again. That is usually how it works.
The positive is---and yes, there is a positive: All of these can be easily dealt with and are temporary. Most of these little annoyances are fixable.
In the scheme of things, they just do not matter.
"The heck they don't, you may say? You try paying all that money for shoes only to have them ruined"
My only response to that is this---if you can afford one pair, you can afford another or you can afford to have the damaged ones fixed. If not, maybe you should choose different shoes. Just a thought.
They are just shoes.
Let Go of It
Try to keep these occurrences in perspective. You may wish to ask yourself: Will this matter tomorrow: Next week? In six months? Next year? If you answered, no, then you know these are LITTLE pains in the neck that can be laughed off and forgotten.
It is about making a choice.
Decide what you value most.
Decide what is really worth your time to the extent that you must dwell on it.
There are some things that will require your attention and are much more than a nuisance. Save your energy for those significant times.
Be like a duck...let the rest of it just roll off of you.
Let go of the small annoyances that crop up.
Each day is filled with so much that is positive and uplifting that letting small frustrations crop up and suck the life out of your day is side tracking your life.
Give it up. Move on.
There is too much else you can be doing with this day.
May all of the STUFF that happens to you today be little STUFF.
© 2013 Patricia Scott