Loosing Beliefs That Limit You
What Is A Limiting Belief?
To start with the basics, a belief is simply a conviction that something is true. Some people believe that there is life on other planets, some believe there is life after death. These are examples of beliefs and sometimes they may have an impact on how we live, someone who believes there is life after death may choose to do certain things because of that belief.
This kind of belief is of course a conscious belief something we are very aware of, something we have made conscious decisions about. It is definitely true that some conscious beliefs limit us. I worked with someone who believed that motorbikes were dangerous, he would never go on one himself and would always be vocal about his belief when the topic was discussed. His brother had been killed while riding a motorbike so it was completely understandable why he had the belief and although it was limiting in some ways (he wouldn't go on a motorbike) it was a conscious belief and he accepted the limits this belief placed on him.
What is often much harder to recognise are the subconscious limiting beliefs that can impact us every day of our lives in almost every sphere of life.
What Are Sub Conscious Beliefs
These operate at a whole different level so that we aren't even aware of them. In fact the reason they are there is because the part of you that holds that belief is trying to keep you safe. Usually they are to do with our abilities, and very often they are to do with basic human emotions, fear of failure or rejection, fear that you will not be loved that you will never quite reach some particular standard.
They often operate a bit like this. If someone was rejected in their life, that would hurt and it may take a long time to recover from the heartbreak. If this was to happen a few times then subconsciously part of them would shy away from situations where they may be rejected again. Sometimes this manifests itself as coldness, self sufficiency or a reluctance for any closeness, pushing people away as soon as they start to get too close - rejecting them because that is easier to cope with than being rejected themselves again.
People rarely do this consciously, this operates on a subconscious level but the result can still be that relationships are sabotaged.
How Do I Know If I Have a Limiting Belief?
Most of us probably have some limiting beliefs -but if we are happy and healthy and living the life we want then they probably aren't impacting us too much.
If however you feel you always struggle with money or relationships, or with your weight or exercise patterns, or even with study or your career then it may well be that you have some fairly powerful self- limiting beliefs operating. It feels a bit like swimming against a current you keep trying but never seem to move forward.
But even if you do don't worry you can re-programme your brain and get rid of those beliefs that are stopping you having the life you really want.
To discover the limiting beliefs that may be impacting you first think about an area of your life where you feel you always struggle - work, relationships, or self image for example.
If someone told you that you could have exactly what you desired in that area, what would your response be?. For many people with limiting beliefs they find they are quickly having negative thoughts, which may range from 'you're not good enough', or 'you'll never do it' to things like 'you'll loose your friend' or 'no-one will like you anymore'. The list can be long as all individuals are different BUT the common themes are fear of failure, or of being rejected or of being unloved or in some way not being up to scratch.
Swimming against a current
Where Do My Limiting Beliefs Come From?
We acquire our limiting beliefs throughout life. There is no 'blame' agenda here it is just that it happens. Many stem from our childhood but that doesn't have to be a criticism of our parents. As you are probably aware young children are like sponges, they simply soak up the world around them and that is often when we begin forming our attitudes towards people, relationships, success or money.
Children in middle childhood become more critical and consider what they see and hear but younger children just sort of soak it up. So imagine a young child who grows up hearing parents argue about money, not just a one off but where that is a feature of their childhood, they may simply absorb the view that money causes arguments. As noted before this isn't always conscious but it can sabotage all your efforts to make money because part of you feels that money causes arguments. Or imagine that one parent feels let down because the other is always out 'making money' they may enjoy the results but the child can easily associate making money with negativity or separation..
This is a simple explanation but it is enough to give an initial understanding of where these beliefs come from. Sometimes life presents opportunities to change our beliefs but not always and they simply remain stuck, effectively stopping us from doing something. I have looked here at limiting beliefs around money but they can be about any aspect of life or of yourself in terms of your abilities or appearance, or around relationships or jobs.
Tapping For Fear of Rejection
What is Tapping?
- Tapping is also know as EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique.
- It involves lightly tapping with your own fingers on acupressure points
- These are points along the energy meridians - the channels through which energy flows through the body
- Negative emotions (which are often caused by negative beliefs) can disrupt the flow of energy through the body
- Tapping on these points whilst also voicing the belief or affirmation brings it to the surface so it can be cleared
- Tapping can reset the system and bring balance to the bodies energy
- It can be used effectively for a whole range of emotional and physical issues, including fears, phobias, self esteem issues, addictions, weight loss, stress, panic attacks and anxiety.
- For more information visit www.eft-courses.org.uk
- To find an EFT therapist near you visit http://eftregister.com
How Do I Get Rid of My Limiting Beliefs?
Here is the good news you don't have to put up with your limiting beliefs. It is possible to get rid of them. Essentially you need to re frame your brain, give it something new to work with. One of the ways you can do this is through tapping, for more information check the side capsule, and often it helps to first get rid of the limiting belief and clear those blocks then do a positive round of tapping to re train your brain and raise you vibrations to attract the success you desire in whatever area you feel you have been blocked. That's why there are two short videos below.
In the video I have used beleifs around relationships but feel free to change the words and affirmations to fit with whatever your limiting belief seems to be.
Tapping to Feel Positive About Relationships
So What Now?
It is certainly worth repeating the tapping routine but also you need to continue to visualise what the you without the limiting beliefs would be, in a happy relationship, successful at work, making more money whatever it is you wan to achieve.
You also need to act on the positive - tapping through any resistance if necessary. So if you tapped about success in your career then you need to keep working hard, if you tapped about a new job then you need to look for one. If it was relationships then you may need to stop turning down invitations to places where you might meet someone just because you are afraid that you won't or that no-one will like you.
Keep that positive image in your mind and try doing a short round of tapping every day for the next few weeks and see if it makes a difference.