How to Practice Self-Love?
What happens when the person that you love does not love you back? What happens when family members, relatives and friends that you feel should love, support and respect you do not treat you that way? What happens when other people stop you from getting the things that you feel you deserve or dreamt of? Reality sucks. All these and more happen. Some relationships do not work as they should. Some people seem to stand against the things that can make you feel happy and loved. How do you move on from this?
What is Self-Love?
Well, you should start practicing self -love. What is Self Love?
- Treating yourself well even if others do not treat you right
- Learning to enjoy your own company
- Taking care of yourself and your own needs without the need to depend on anybody else
- Appreciating your own work without the need for others to praise you
- Standing up to your own decisions without asking other people's opinion
- Believing in your own set of truths and beliefs without the need for others to validate those
- Protecting yourself from danger or from anything or anyone that can hurt you than waiting for a knight in shining armor to come to your rescue
- Doing the things that can make you happy than waiting for someone to make you feel that way
Action Steps to Achieve Self-Love
In the process of loving yourself, there are some action steps that you will feel uncomfortable to do but are necessary.
- You have to listen first to your own needs before attending to the needs of others.
- You have to distance yourself from negative people – family, relatives and friends or even loose communication with them.
- You have to quit the job that makes your life a hell and start building a life based on passion and not on money.
- You have to disappoint the people who stand against you.
It is an inside job.
Loving yourself means that you are strong enough to be the person you like even if no one is behind you. It is caring for yourself even if others try to make you feel bad about yourself. It also means protecting yourself from the negative people who try to destroy you. You do not give them a chance to ruin the beautiful and happy life you are creating.
Truth be told, no one can truly make you happy all the time because your definition of happiness and how you should be loved differs from another person's perspective. Different people would have different concept of happiness and self-love. What is it that can make you feel happy? A career? a peaceful home? a piece of chocolate cake? You have to be sure of the things that can make you happy. Only you can determine this. Go and list those down. Cut pictures and put them on a corkboard. Hang it on your wall to remind you of the things that you love to make you feel happy.
Remember, do not wait for others to make you feel happy. You cannot control others for them to fit in to your concept of happiness. You cannot control your partner or friend to let them act in a way that can make you feel happy. Of course, you have to set rules and boundaries on how you should be treated. This is in a way saying you cannot tell people you have to respect me for you to feel happy and loved. You can only control yourself. If you want respect, you have to be respectable.
You cannot control others for them to fit in to your concept of happiness...You can only control yourself.
- In application, self-love is seen when you wake up each new day with such vibrance and enthusiasm despite the challenges you will encounter in every step that you make.
- You walk out of your door still energized even if there are people out there who will say negative things about you.
- You dress up and put on that beautiful dress and make-up.
- You still smile and enjoy a little cup of coffee/chocolate/tea or whatever makes you happy.
- You shrug off an opinion that you feel unhelpful for you. You do not ruminate about it and stay comfortable in your own opinion or decision as long as it does not stand in the way of others.
- You do not devalue yourself based on other people’s beliefs or standards.
- You appreciate everything that you are - your beauty and beliefs.
- You still show up –unbreakable and undefeated- even in all the odds that come your way.
You still show up –unbreakable and undefeated- even in all the odds that come your way.