Loving a Commitmentphobic
He is scared out of his pants!
He wants you to be there, he just doesn't want you to be there...
He doesn't want it to grow, but it can't stay the same...
What started in January had turned into full phobia within the 8th week about the beginning of March. On a particular night in March, he pushed me away. By October, he became cruel. I have to add that we spent overly too much time together. We were apart for one month out of full year. Yes, it seemed perfect from January to Feburary, but soon I felt a jab that he was backing off and it didn't progress any further thereafter.
The Commitmentphobic
He is not lying to you because you're not good enough.
He's not lying to you because the other woman is making him happier.
He's not lying to you because you did something wrong.
He's not lying to you because he's lost his attraction for you.
He's not lying to you because he doesn't care or love you anymore
He's not lying to you because you're not meeting all of his needs.
He's not lying to you because he necessarily wants to leave you.
He's not lying to you because he doesn't have fun with you anymore.
He is lying to you because he is afraid of commitment, period.
He has feelings for you, he just has no idea what to do with them.
Closeness is what is causing the problem!
The only option for you is to:
WITHDRAW
If you don't want him to run sooner don't be:
Clutchy
Wifey
Overly available
Overly giving
Overly gifting
Famous sayings from my experience:
"Why can't it be the way it was? I miss you"
"I'll take care of you"
"What would I do without you and your support, you're such a friend to me."
”I cannot give you what you want.”
"There were times I would sit there and think maybe you were the one."
"You'll probably fall in love with someone else and forget about me anyways."
“No expectations.”
"I never offered you a relationship."
"I can't love you like you want."
“I cannot commit.”
“You're suffocating me.”
“I need to be alone.”
"We're just friends."
"I love you as a person."
"Ok, I admit it, we're a little more than friends." right after that he says,
" I don't want to lose you, I care about you."
" I don't love you as a woman or a partner." Meaning, he doesn't ever intend on loving me.
Most Difficult to Deal With
HIM
He contradicts himself. He is confused. One minute wanting one thing, the next, the opposite.
Not being able to communicate on a deep level, talk about frustrating.
Never allowing the relationship to grow or go anywhere is insisting insanity more than it's frustrating.
Not being able to admit you are his 'girlfriend' and messing up midway during introductions.
Not being able to 'let' you go, while knowing you are suffering at his expense.
Not showing affection, especially when around friends or in public places (you feel he is not proud of you).
Cannot seem to cancel his dating site profille, stop checking it, or connecting with new women.
YOU
Dwindling self-esteem
Not liking who you become while with him
Not liking how you start to feel when with him
You feel like you're walking on eggshells.
Nervousness, you never know when he will start criticizing or push you away
