Mediation for Grieving
When grief is in your heart, mind and soul, be it from a loved one passing or something else, it can take over. Grief can consume you. In times like this, meditation can help. Meditating won’t stop the grieving process, this process is something you need to go through and come out the other side. What meditation can do for you is allow you to get through the grieving process with less stabbing agony and heart wrenching despair. I can honestly say that if I had not done any mediating when first my brother, then my grandmother, my close friend and then my dad died, I would not have been able to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other in order to get on with my life.
Under a Tree?
Location location location
To start, you need to find at least 10 to 15 minutes twice a day for this. I know in our busy crazy world this can be hard, but for the sake of your own sanity, you must find a way. Lock yourself in the bathroom, find a corner of the garage, sunroom or wherever you can. Some like the cool privacy of a dark room. I myself prefer the sun shining on me in my sunroom for meditation. If you know a quiet park setting, sitting on a jacket under a tree also works. Basically wherever you feel comfy and safe and can close your eyes and spend time. I prefer sitting up in a relaxed position with back support, but this is your meditation, find your comfort zone.
Visualize a rusty red cord coming from the very center of the earth and up through your tailbone and spine directly through the top of your head. Feel your body sinking into the place you are sitting as if you are now sinking through the earth’s core itself. At this point I will usually add a white cord from the sky/heavens coming down and merging with the red cord, but this is optional. The purpose of this visualization before meditation begins is simply to connect your spirit and psyche to the earth so you aren’t feeling all floaty afterwards. Trust me on this, it is a good thing.
Visualize a bendy mirror encircling your body with the reflective surface facing outwards to reflect all negativity. I always add this to any and all mediations because let's face it, we are trying to get rid of the negative aspect of grieving here, not call more negativity to us.
Once comfy, it’s time to focus on the breathing. What this does for me is it takes my mind out of the running. If I’m focusing on the breathing at first, my brain is not doing that incessant chatter that it does. Breathing in and out through the nose, start by taking a slow breath to the count of 12, filling up the diaphragm (belly) first and chest last. Hold for a count of 2. Then breathe out to a count of 12, feeling the diaphragm empty and then the chest area. When you are comfortable doing this breath, take the inhale to the count to 7 and keep the exhale around the count of either 7 or 11.
Once you feel your body is used to this breathing rhythm, I want you to picture your loved one in your minds eye with the best memory you have. Whether they are smiling, laughing or being silly, make it the best memory you have. Once you have them in your minds eye. I want you to simply envelop that memory with a virtual hug. Feel yourself entering into the hug with all your soul. At this point you may feel the need to start to cry. Allow it, but continue seeing the memory and hugging it. Now with your heart and soul I want you to say to this memory, out loud or in your mind, “I love you. I miss you. I release you to the Light.” Say this as many times in as you feel the need to. When you feel the virtual hug release, you will know the release is done.
Continue the breathing . Inhale through the nose to count of 7, hold for 2, exhale for count of 7 or 11, visualizing your loved one laughing and smiling surrounded by joyous white light. Feel the peace surrounding them and know there is no pain, no guilt, no sorrow where they are. Nor do they want any of that for you. If there is guilt within you, whether it be survival guilt or any other type, release it now. If you have to say it out loud do so. “Guilt I reject and release you.” Visualize the guilt coming off and out of you and forming a ball in front of you, watching it form as it leaves you. Then imagine that ball of guilt flying to the sky to burst and be dissolved into nothingness.
Imagine now a spark of Light, picture the brightest flashbulb imaginable, igniting within your solar plexus. The Light is pure white and radiant. It grows from your solar plexus to envelop your entire body. Your tears may come stronger and feel like they are being ripped from you now. So be it. Allow them. When your entire body is enveloped with the Light, say goodbye to your loved one out loud, knowing you will see them again in another form, another way. Let the tears flow and when they are gone, thank your Deity, take a deep breath and smile.
A Longer Helpful Meditation
This is a short meditation for those with limited time, yet massive grief. There are longer ones and you should use whatever methods you find work for you. All in all, it is not about the ones who have passed, it is about you and how you cope with the pain. Knowing your feelings for what they are and allowing them to play out is important. Helping the process with meditations and release have helped me. I hope this will help you. Blessings.