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Challenges of Aging: Murphy, Leave Us Alone!

Updated on November 1, 2017
DzyMsLizzy profile image

An amateur comedienne, Liz loves humor and practical jokes, including funny songs. All hail April 1st & Oct. 31st! ;-)

What Is "Murphy's Law?"

I'm sure most of us have heard of Murphy's Law well before reaching adulthood. Who this original "Murphy" guy was, I have no idea. I do know this: there is a long line of people waiting to get their hands around his neck and give him a good shaking!

For those who may still be unaware of Murphy's Law, or in case it is a saying exclusive to the U.S.A., this is the full law, translated to text form, as the original is merely an oral tradition.

"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time."

That, my friends, is Murphy's Law. Short, sweet and to the point. (Whoops! I take it back about the 'sweet' part...) Some call it the pessimist's law; others call it reality. Whichever way you choose to think I assure you, it exists.

While the basic "law" itself is brief, it has innumerable sub-sets, each custom-designed for particular circumstances.

Murphy On Aging

That Murphy guy has a mean streak. He seems to delight in plaguing the elderly and infirm with his tricks. I've compiled a list of the top ten components of Murphy's Law as it affects senior citizens.

Not Your Ordinary Top Ten List

This is not a traditional "top ten" list; the situations are in random order, as I recalled them or had yet another experience involving one or another of them.

Number 1.

The more important the information, the smaller the print will be! Especially in legal documents!

Fine Print

Number 2.

The harder it is to bend over, the more often stuff falls on the floor or on the ground.

Oh, My Aching Back!

Number 3.

The more packages, bags, documents or what-have-you that you have to carry, while managing with your cane or walker, the narrower the doorway you need to enter will be.

Crunch Time

Number 4.

The drinking fountains that used to be scattered throughout malls will have disappeared when you need to take a midday dose of your medication.


(No illustration for this one: they're all gone, remember?) ;-)

Number 5.

The harder it is for you to bend and sit, the lower to the ground the seats in your friend's car will be when you need a ride.

How Low Can You Go?

Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

— Murphy

Number 6.

The price on the incontinent supplies won't scan, and the young buck at the checkout will holler over the intercom, "Price check on the old lady diapers!"

Price Check!

Number 7.

The more easily you bruise, the more likely you will get a newbie lab tech at the doctor's office who will stab your arm multiple times trying to find a vein.

Finish Learning, First!

Number 8.

If you don't wear glasses all the time, then the more often you need them, the more frequently they will be misplaced.

Now, Where Are My Glasses?

Number 9.

If you absolutely must remember something, that will be the first piece of information you will forget.

Arrggh! What Did Those Instructions Say?

Number 10.

If your hands are shaky, the only thing that you will spill while cooking is the item that was the very last you had on hand with barely enough for the recipe.

Rats! That Was The Last Of The Cinnamon!

What About You?

If you're laughing, good. I hope you're laughing with me, and not at me. For if you are young enough to laugh at me, be warned: your turn will come, and karma doesn't play nicely.

I invite my readers to share any other of their own experiences with ol' Murphy on the subject of aging. Simply leave your tale of woe in the comments section.

Have a wonderful day, and may Murphy keep his distance!

Illustration Credit

All illustrations are by the author. 
She can blame no one but herself 
for these scribblings.  ;-)

© 2012 Liz Elias

working

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