ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Challenges of Aging: Murphy, Leave Us Alone!

Updated on November 1, 2017
DzyMsLizzy profile image

An amateur comedienne, Liz loves humor and practical jokes, including funny songs. All hail April 1st & Oct. 31st!

What Is "Murphy's Law?"

I'm sure most of us have heard of Murphy's Law well before reaching adulthood. Who this original "Murphy" guy was, I have no idea. I do know this: there is a long line of people waiting to get their hands around his neck and give him a good shaking!

For those who may still be unaware of Murphy's Law, or in case it is a saying exclusive to the U.S.A., this is the full law, translated to text form, as the original is merely an oral tradition.

"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time."

That, my friends, is Murphy's Law. Short, sweet and to the point. (Whoops! I take it back about the 'sweet' part...) Some call it the pessimist's law; others call it reality. Whichever way you choose to think I assure you, it exists.

While the basic "law" itself is brief, it has innumerable sub-sets, each custom-designed for particular circumstances.

Murphy On Aging

That Murphy guy has a mean streak. He seems to delight in plaguing the elderly and infirm with his tricks. I've compiled a list of the top ten components of Murphy's Law as it affects senior citizens.

Not Your Ordinary Top Ten List

This is not a traditional "top ten" list; the situations are in random order, as I recalled them or had yet another experience involving one or another of them.

Number 1.

The more important the information, the smaller the print will be! Especially in legal documents!

Fine Print

Number 2.

The harder it is to bend over, the more often stuff falls on the floor or on the ground.

Oh, My Aching Back!

Number 3.

The more packages, bags, documents or what-have-you that you have to carry, while managing with your cane or walker, the narrower the doorway you need to enter will be.

Crunch Time

Number 4.

The drinking fountains that used to be scattered throughout malls will have disappeared when you need to take a midday dose of your medication.

(No illustration for this one: they're all gone, remember?) ;-)

Number 5.

The harder it is for you to bend and sit, the lower to the ground the seats in your friend's car will be when you need a ride.

How Low Can You Go?

Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

— Murphy

Number 6.

The price on the incontinent supplies won't scan, and the young buck at the checkout will holler over the intercom, "Price check on the old lady diapers!"

Price Check!

Number 7.

The more easily you bruise, the more likely you will get a newbie lab tech at the doctor's office who will stab your arm multiple times trying to find a vein.

Finish Learning, First!

Number 8.

If you don't wear glasses all the time, then the more often you need them, the more frequently they will be misplaced.

Now, Where Are My Glasses?

Number 9.

If you absolutely must remember something, that will be the first piece of information you will forget.

Arrggh! What Did Those Instructions Say?

Number 10.

If your hands are shaky, the only thing that you will spill while cooking is the item that was the very last you had on hand with barely enough for the recipe.

Rats! That Was The Last Of The Cinnamon!

What About You?

If you're laughing, good. I hope you're laughing with me, and not at me. For if you are young enough to laugh at me, be warned: your turn will come, and karma doesn't play nicely.

I invite my readers to share any other of their own experiences with ol' Murphy on the subject of aging. Simply leave your tale of woe in the comments section.

Have a wonderful day, and may Murphy keep his distance!

Illustration Credit

All illustrations are by the author. 
She can blame no one but herself 
for these scribblings.  ;-)

© 2012 Liz Elias


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)