My Home, My Cocoon

A cocoon is a casing made by moths, butterflies and other insects, when they have reached the end of the larva stage and are entering into the pupa stage of their lives.  Cocoons are silk casings that protect the insect from the harsh elements of nature, while they are transformed.  It is said that the most beautiful butterflies emerge form the ugliest cocoons.

A cocoon is a place of change, created by the insect.  It is also the only 'home' the insect will ever own.  Think about it a moment.

Before entering the cocoon, the insect was content to crawl around, eating.  Once it is in the cocoon, it will change from a fat worm to a thing of beauty.  In the cocoon, it gives up all of its old activities and ways of living.  Once it emerges, it takes on a whole new life.  One that it has never experienced before, but that its time in the cocoon has made it ready for.

When an insect finally emerges from its cocoon, it must struggle.  The cocoon does not break easily, and the insect must push hard to break the shell.  Then it must wiggle and squirm to get free of the cocoon.  This struggling is necessary for the insect to fully enter the next stage of its life.  Without the struggle, the wings of the insect will never develop.  It will never be free to fly.  Without the ability to fly, it will quickly die. 

If you have never seen an insect emerge from its cocoon, it is well worth the time.  To see it struggle, and tire, then try again, and finally free itself.  To see its wings unfold, in the most beautiful of colors, and then to dry.  To watch it gently fan those wings, as it tries out its new legs, and then, to take off into the spring sunshine.  It is worth the time.

Recently, I began to see that my home was very much like a cocoon. It protects me from the elements, it is warm and safe, and yet it has been a place of change. Some days, I do not even know myself. I am not the same person I was when I moved in here. I know that my husband feels the same way, and we are not alone.

Looking at the previous owners of this home, all have met great change. All have left it to start a new chapter in their lives.

The first owners lived here only a couple of years, before they retired. The next owners bought it for a place of business. During the time they owned it, they welcomed another child to their family, he changed careers, they moved into the home, while continuing to run the business, and when they moved on, it was for the reaching of long term goals and dreams.

I wonder if the insect ever really wanted to spin a cocoon?  Would it have rather continued in what it knew, pursuing the next leaf?  Does the insect like the cocoon it spins, even though it knows not how to make any other?  Or does the insect dream of its ideal home, with lots of room to move and grow?  If it had its ideal, would it ever change?  Would it ever emerge with the ability to fly?

As I think about the struggle of the butterfly, and the changes it undergoes, I am happy to be here. I am happy to struggle. I am happy to change. After all, who wants to remain a caterpillar?

Ivorwen, 2009.

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