My Birthday Farewell to Mom
You're Not There
Hi Mom, its my 69th birthday next week and I have another year of no mom to share it with. One would think it would get easier after a few years but it doesn't. So many times I think of something to tell you and I go for the phone and I remember you're not there.
Remember all the fun we had as I was growing up? I use to drive you and daddy crazy with all the plays and songs I use to write and all the parties I use to have, especially the Birthday Party when I invited all the kids and it wasn't even my birthday? You wouldn't let me keep the presents. I was a real bugger!!!!
How about the circus ring the neighbor was going to build for me in his back yard until you told him not to do it. We had so many great times together; I really had a great childhood because of you and daddy. All my friends liked to come to our house as they thought you and daddy were COOL!
New Years Eve
I don't know what you remembered after that awful New Years Eve night when you had your stroke. I got the call just as I got to my daughters house and all the food was ready for us but we never ate a thing as we rushed to the hospital which was and hour and a half away. I felt sorry for all the preparation the kids made for us and the grandchildren were so sad to see us run out, but we had to go.
I have never seen daddy look so sad and scared as he did that night in the emergency waiting room, he looked so little and frail. With my husband and my sister at my side we tried to comfort daddy the best way we could. It was hours and we were told it did not look good. We called the grand children and everyone came up to say goodbye on New Years Day.
The Deck of Cards
As time went on, nothing changed. We all took turns going in to talk to you and finally my son went in to see you and brought a deck of cards. You and daddy would play cards with him every so often. He took out the cards and held them near your hand and even though you didn't have any communication with anyone of us until that point, when he told you to pick a card you pointed to one!!! Everyone was in shock, that was the first response from you in days, WE knew you were in there.....
The Next Four Years
Time went on and you were in a rehab place and then another one and finally home. You never walked again and spent your days in a wheel chair and you never really could talk much to us as your alzheimer's got worse due to the stroke and eventually you didn't even know who we were. Those last few years were very sad and took its toll on all of us. Poor dad got the worst of it as he was with you 24/7. He was so determined to keep you home and take care of you himself, getting you in and out of bed with a big lifting apparatus and refusing outside help from anyone.
My sister and I would go to your house a couple times a week after we worked all day even though it was an hour and a half each way. Sometimes we would stay overnight and go back to work right from there. We knew daddy needed some help and he had doctors appointments for himself and food shopping and he just needed to get out of the house even for just an hour or so.
The one satisfaction my sister and I had during this period was we got to say everything we never said to you growing up and telling you how much we loved you and how much fun we had as a family. Things that should have been said all the previous years but for some reason people just don't make the time for that kind of thing.
Its been three years since you are gone and we all still miss you. Daddy is still stubborn and refuses to leave your house. He said he has been there over 60 years and thats where he belongs and will stay until the end. He lives alone and still grows his tomatoes, starting from seeds,and does his own yard work and helps the neighbors if needed. We had a nice big party for him last year when he turned 90. He has colon cancer and he knows his time is limited but he says he is ready to go. He is very frail and and I believe he will be with you soon.
I am sure you will be there to welcome him with open arms, along with his 10 brothers and sisters.
I love you mom!