My Explosive Recurring Dream

This realization makes me want to try to figure out other dreams that I remember from my youth that I never decoded. One in particular that stands out is the one where a T-Rex was chasing me, my friend and her mother through my old neighborhood. This particular neighborhood I lived in before I ever met this friend and her mother; so I have no clue what the connection is there. It took me many years to watch Jurassic Park because of that dream. I may never figure out that dream, but, maybe someday too that realization will come; One can only hope.

I've had some definite weird dreams in my past; some I have no desire in trying to decode, while others are just to strange to even know where to start.

So, dreams are one of those mysteries of the human psyche. Everyone dreams, but not everyone remembers them. Sometimes certain dreams keep making a comeback and it is usually a challenge to determine the meaning behind them. For years, prior to my diagnosis, I kept having this dream where I was in my basement and I kept hearing a bomb ticking away. I searched all over the place to try and find it, including the laundry room around the freezer. I never found the source of the ticking, but did end up looking in the freezer and getting ice cream. Not sure what that had to do with a ticking bomb, but one can't expect to figure out the entire dream.

Well, the other night, as I was reading a great book, The Brain That Changes Itself, I came across a chapter about a man who was having a recurrent dream that he was unable to figure out. When he saw a psychotherapist, he began to discover the meaning behind it. Something about that story triggered my memory of my ticking time bomb dream. All of a sudden I realized that ticking time bomb was FOP. I never had a dream where I found that bomb, but I never had that dream again after my diagnosis. I'm not sure why it took 18 years to realize the meaning of that long forgotten dream; but now it all makes sense. My subconscious was telling me I had a secret hiding somewhere and I just hadn't discovered it.

It is amazing what the brain does. For years I knew something was wrong with me, but I didn't have the answer. This recurring dream was my brain telling me to keep searching. Despite distractions, the "bomb" had to eventually detonate and explode. Well, that finally happened at 15 years old. I never had that dream again. Such an interesting, fascinating thing the brain is!!