The Creativity of Bipolar Disorder

 Do you think I could sell you ocean front property in Arizona? Chances are if I am manic or hypomanic, I could. Persons who suffer from bipolar disorder are blessed with the gift of amazing creativity. Maybe it is God's way of making up for the hell we go through in living with this illness.

I have always been very intelligent and learned languages and other endevors very easily. I hardly ever had to study and excelled in almost anything I set out to do. I loved the performing arts and theater and always had my head buried in a book of some type. I never watch anything on TV that I can not learn something from, thus i do not care for movies or other things such as comedy or reality shows. my favorite channels are the crime and investigations channels. Little surprise that I chose Criminal Justice as a major and went on to attend law school.

The mind facinates me. it's ability to absorb, learn, forget, or completely block out. But the one thing that I would have never dreamed of was the fact that my creativity and ambition was related to a mental illness. I just thought I was a perfectionist.

Nothing has ever deterred me from achieving what I wanted to. Many are the times I have applied for jobs that had applicants that were much more qualified than I, and entered knowing I would talk my way into the position, I almost always did. My father used to say I could talk my way out of a croaker sack tied shut at the bottom of the ocean. He called it the gift of GAB. Little did I know that the gift came with a price...a high one.

After working in the Department of Corrections for 15 years  I was able to talk my way into a position in several law firms as a litigation paralegal, with nothing more than the things I learned reading paralegal books. I also talked my way into a position in the court system.

Persons who are bipolar are blessed with an amazing knack for being ambitious, productive, creative, and great peoblem solvers. Some use this to their advantage, as I did. I was able to further my carrer, gain entry into law school with little study of the LSAT's and have a wonderfully, productive life. They make great salesmen, students and leaders. Others are drawn to them like magnets. They exude charisma, charm, and knowledge. They are excellent speakers and can pull together a project in record time.

But,... the saying " Pride goeth before a fall" is also relevant here. In times of mania and hypomania we can become so involved in projects that we forget to live. We can go for for days lost in our own little worlds, isolated and irritable. We may have feelings of such grandour and false security that we become annoying. We know it all and you can't tell us we are wrong. We over commit, taking on much more than we can handle and become frusturated when we begin to realize we are slowing down. We can be arrogant, self-centered, and down right mean.

In this stage of our illness we are everything and everything is about us. nothing else matters ...ME, me, me!! We can hurt your feelings and not even know it, or not care. it can take a toll on the ones who deal with us on a day to day basis. It can take months or years to repair things said or done. Sometimes the wounds never heal.

We can talk you into believing almost anything. We can concoct stories so amazing that we don't even believe them ourselves..yet others do. So if by chance I try to sell you some ocean front property in Arizona....don't buy it and ..PLEASE remind me KINDLY.. there are no oceans in Arizona. I may argue now..but believe me I will thank you later.

its been 4 years since my last article. i have been in a depressive drought. I was not on medication. My creativity was dead. I had no desire to create anything or even think of anything. Writing is my creative outlet but I believe it is connected to my Bipolar disorder because depending on my ups and downs my creative juices either flow or dry up. I have been writing for two days straight and haver a ton of featured articles. I'm hoping it will continue for awhile.

They say some of the most famous artists, musicians, and writers are Bipolar. I do believe my creativity is in some way related to my illness. would I give up my creativity to be so called normal? No! not in a million years.