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How To Vent Frustration Without Being Mean

Updated on December 2, 2015

Frustration Can Disrupt Anyones Emotions

It is not uncommon for anyone to become so frustrated that they are unable to deal with a situation with a rational state of mind. Reactions from frustration can lead to actions that result in damaged feelings.The recipient of such actions, often suffers irreparable emotional trauma. The end result leaves the frustrated person as well as the recipient in an even worse state of mind and the effect snowballs causing more problems, if left to fester. Venting is a normal way to rid ones self of frustrated feelings but it does not have to turn into a vicious attack.

Walk It Away

When the frustration builds to the brink of disaster I have found that my best bet is to take off walking. I have been accused of running away from problems and it might very well appear to be the fact. The truth is I would rather walk and walk and walk until I walk it all away. It is best to excuse yourself from the situation if that is at all possible, but if not, it is still better to walk than to stay and find yourself saying or doing things that you will regret later. My first response is ti turn and walk.

Strong Emotional Connections Usually Feed The Frustrating Fire

I believe that the strongest connections from the heart are the ones that can trigger the most frustration. That is to say that the more involved we are with the circumstance the more likely we are to become the most frustrated. This can be true even if the situation is job related as problems in the workplace can create financially insecure feelings. It does not matter what the circumstance is. The one thing you do not want to do is resort to running your head when you should be silent. There is an old saying that "loose lips sink ships" and it can be applied to frustrated reactions. Just shut up and walk away when you can not be rational.

It Works Best If You Can Walk In The Woods Or A Natural Setting

I would pick the woods if that is at all possible to set my frustrations free. There are not always woods available so the beach is a good second choice. The park is also a great place to walk away your worry but if none of these settings are afoot just head on down the road or sidewalk. Being outside is the ultimate but, that too, can be unavailable if it is storming or too hot or too cold. You can always try a mall that is indoors or if nothing else then go to the gym and do a treadmill. I STRONGLY Suggest Staying out of a vehicle.

Emotions are very powerful and demanding and it is not a smart thing to get behind the steering wheel when you are distracted by frustration. The distraction could cause anyone to not pay close enough attention to driving and result in an accident. The other reason that I think walking is great is that it allows the frustrated person to gradually become grounded.


The initial feeling you might have is a sense of relief from whatever it was that got you so frustrated in the first place. Another old saying, "out of sight, out of mind". That is exactly the goal in making the break for a walk. It works wonders but there is much more to it than just forgetting the frustrating circumstance. Emotions are flailing and your mind is laden with all that has you worked up. The walk gives you time to rehash the situation in your mind. You will be going over and over whatever it is that has you going crazy.

You will question your own actions and anyone else who might have been involved. It could be that much was said that lead you to the frustrated feeling or it could be that you were trying to accomplish some sort of physical thing such as putting a project together and you just hit a brick wall. It does not really matter what the circumstances are that caused the frustration, what matters is that you deal with it in a positive way. My first response is to take a walk.

Walk Until You Forget Why You Were Out Walking

The steps you take are sure to benefit you in several ways. The first thing is calming your frustrated feelings. This will come as you think the situation over as you are moving. The walk will probably start out brisk as your emotions are running high. You might have even felt like running when you first took off.

It won't take long until you have things calmed down in your mind and you are starting to think of better ways to approach the problem. I have faith that most people will come to some solid ideas on how to solve problems if they are given enough time. Walk on. Do not turn back unless it is a matter of life and death. Walking will lower your blood pressure so it is a good thing.

Now that you are solving things as you walk you are becoming grounded. That is to say that you are tuning into the earth and becoming closer to that which surrounds you. This is when you really start to make progress. You might still be thinking about what got you so frustrated but you are now thinking on another level. You have graduated to a higher plane of being. It can be felt by a slower pace of movement. Your heart has slowed and much of the frustration has gone.

Before you know it you are walking and hearing the sounds that are around you. It could be birds or bugs or the wind pushing through the trees. Maybe the sound of running water in a nearby creek. Just keep going. Walk until you are thinking about your surroundings. Was that a Blue Jay you heard calling? Are those wild roses growing on the creek bank? Do those children realize how lucky they are to not have a care in the world other than playing and laughing?

Find A Place To Set For A While

I like to put my back up against a big tree. By the time I take a good seat I am totally thinking about the environment at hand. I like to study the light and how it falls on the ground. I listen to the Earth noises and close my eyes. This puts me at peace. I try to become one with all of it. I try to blend in and be hidden from the world. Now I have let go of all of the frustrations that brought me here.I do this by nature.

I have been doing it so long. I say that anyone who can walk can use my method to save face in the hands of frustration. Give it a try to practice it until it becomes routine. I do not think you will regret the benefits you find in a good long walk.

One Note Of Caution

I was living in Dallas for the first time many years ago and walked out the door rather than to argue with a friend. I had been in the area for only a few weeks and was not familiar with the area. I walked in my neighborhood for a long while. I was in a residential suburb and so involved in myself that I did not pay close attention to where I was going. Quite a bit of time lapsed before I realized that I was lost. I did not remember which way I had gone so I did not know how to return. I found my way but it took several hours. I had everyone worried and actually had myself worried. My point, know where you are going or drop plenty of bread crumbs to mark your trail. BEWARE OF HUNGRY BIRDS TOO!

Positive Venting Leads To Positive Solutions

Now that you have found a better way to deal with the emotional part of your frustration you should be able to look at the cause of it and, deal with everything from a better point of view. This will help in keeping any situation that causes emotional flare ups, to be handle with more rationality. Getting out of anger mode and into solution mode is half the battle won. I sure hope that this suggestion will help the next time you find yourself wanting to vent your frustrations toward somebody or some thing.


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    • profile image

      Hannu 6 years ago

      A great hub! Thanks for sharing all the information.

    • needful things profile image

      needful things 7 years ago from Poland

      Breaking plates is one. :))

    • profile image

      Val 7 years ago

      Great advice!

      There are also some fun iPod and iPhone applications for venting your frustation. Apps like Punch, iVent, and Slinger that are great ways to blow off steam without compromising your reputation or risking adverse responses.

    • profile image

      hellbitsmhhr 8 years ago

      you know i always go through this same situ but this might help

    • tnderhrt23 profile image

      tnderhrt23 8 years ago

      Positively great HuB! I try to avoid venting out of frustration as much as possible, so I do as little damage as possible with "hot words"...came from an environment where words were weapons of mass destruction. I often take time out to walk, write, whatever it takes, to cool off to regain rationality. Act instead of react...Thanks for this wise HuB!

    • profile image

      anon 8 years ago

      Can't really do the walking thing :( My knees are bad, and it's winter here in Michigan, so it's too cold...and the malls right now (a few days till christmas) would be far from what I I'd have to drive there. Nothing helps.

    • profile image

      dnrkrishnan25 8 years ago


    • LaidOff profile image

      LaidOff 9 years ago

      I was recently laid off and after getting over the devastation, I am frustrated and worried. Your Hub has great tips. I've taken up the exercise and that has given me a great positive boost, built as an outlet and take mini-walks to keep the positive juices flowing...

    • skinbleaching1 profile image

      skinbleaching1 9 years ago from Downunder

      Nice info... I will practice some of these, thanks...

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Thanks C.S.

      Another good point! :)

    • C.S.Alexis profile image

      C.S.Alexis 9 years ago from NW Indiana


      I say do not beat yourself up for what you DON'T DO but rather, Praise Yourself for what you accomplish. We all love praise and it is best when it comes from within. Just be good to yourself, take care of your inner child.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Great advice! That is something I can definitely do. I know I'm my own worst enemy and that there are things I can do. I even know the right foods to eat, but I've just allowed myself to get plain lazy. So, I will challenge myself this year and see how it goes. One step at a time, right? :)

    • C.S.Alexis profile image

      C.S.Alexis 9 years ago from NW Indiana


      I keep moving I just do not stay in the same position long. I also try to stretch my back and hips. I have it on the left side this week. Got to me a couple of days ago, bad. I won't give in to it though. Did you know that if you stop moving your body can freeze up like be so stiff that the vertebrae in your spine can fuse and create more trouble. You should think about stretching. Thing is you must go slow at first so as not to injury anything!

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi CS,

      Wow, I can't believe how much alike we seem to be.  My daughter is constantly asking me why don't I like to go anywhere, and the funny thing is, I didn't used to be this way.

      I too cannot stand or walk for any length of time due to a problem with my right hip and leg, the hip gets sore and my leg goes numb.  I never followed up with a checkup about it.  Stupid, huh?

    • C.S.Alexis profile image

      C.S.Alexis 9 years ago from NW Indiana


      When I use to exercise reg. I had a ton more energy. My problem is I get so wound up I can't sleep. I also have a lot of pain when I walk or stand for too long, guess all the abuse I put on my body is taking it's toll now. I really can't sit without pain either. I just ignore the pain, got tired of taking pain killers for it. I am a hermit by nature. Not that I don't like people, I just enjoy much alone time.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Wonderful advice!  An added benefit to the walking is weight loss.  If I'm not mistaken, walking and swimming are the two absolute best exercises.

      There was a period in my life where I combined exercise with my dieting, something I had never done before, and I have to say, the results were amazing.  I had so much more energy to continue with my day.

      In the past few years, I have become somewhat of a hermit.  Walking for me now for any distance has become almost painful, which definitely is not good!

      This hub is a nice wakeup call, so thanks so much for sharing :)

    • profile image

      dabblingmum 9 years ago

      Walking away is a great way to calm down before you say or do something you'll regret. Just remember to say, "I am taking a time out. We can deal with this when I get back." Because there is NOTHING worse than having someone walk out on you without a just walk away as if "not" validating the other person's existence or feelings.

    • C.S.Alexis profile image

      C.S.Alexis 9 years ago from NW Indiana


      I too spend time alone when I am off balance with my emotions. Waling is one thing but I have been known to hole up for a week and emerge later with a more positive spirit. My artwork has carried me through so much of my life for that very reason. I enjoy my alone time, it keeps me going. Thank you for commenting and sharing. C.S.

    • gjcody profile image

      gjcody 9 years ago

      Thank you for the good information.  I do it in a way.  I have found myself in frustrating situations and realized being alone is the best thing for me.  I find my own company is more appealing when I am under pressure.  I have time to think and usually I work at some project.  I get myself into something that definitely takes my mind in another direction.  Soon, I find a way to deal with it. 

      I am sure walking would be a good thing too.  I will try it ...thank you again for sharing.  My best to you! 

    • C.S.Alexis profile image

      C.S.Alexis 9 years ago from NW Indiana

      A Stranger, forgiveness is healing for all those involved. C.S.

    • profile image

      A Stranger 9 years ago

      i wish i had read this before i had the most terrible argumen with my mum this morning

    • compu-smart profile image

      Compu-Smart 9 years ago from London UK

      Excellent tips,It sounds like the best thing to do! i now thinking GPS may work better for you than bread crumbs lol !:)

    • C.S.Alexis profile image

      C.S.Alexis 9 years ago from NW Indiana

      Thank each of you for reading this. i also miss the woods SweetiePie.Before I returned to this area I lived on a lake and a creek fed into it. There I could take off walking and go for hours and never see a soul. I went almost every morning. I was hardly ever angry back then Angela.Not that I suffer from anger now. I am just 1/4 of a block from the river so I can still walk in the woods but there are always people. I have to go very early or very late. Not feeling that safe about it either.

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 9 years ago from Southern California, USA

      This is an informative hub and I liked your use of links in the discussion.  Good job! I always have felt less upset after a walk in the woods and I miss the forest now that I am living in the city.

    • Angela Harris profile image

      Angela Harris 9 years ago from Around the USA

      Good idea as walking really does calm a person, which is especially needed when a person is frustrated to the point of anger.

    • profile image

      Cup of Joe 9 years ago

      Good ideas Thanks!!!!!