ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What Is Oppositional Defiant Disorder in Adults?

Updated on July 25, 2020

Why I Avoid Certain People

I do not communicate with my mother who I feel may have oppositional defiant disorder, because she is always picking a fight with me. Oppositional defiant disorder makes somebody want to fight with people they perceive as trying to have authority. All I do is assert my boundaries and realize she does not have ADD, get their panties in a bunch, with me for setting boundaries, like "don't fight with me," and they somehow do anyway, regardless of how much peacemaking I do to soothe the savage beast that is coming after me.

People with ODD often lose their temper, which happens enough times to make the people around them wonder what is up. Some people do this with everybody in their lives, while others manage not to do this at work. I try to set rules with these people, and they defy them while deliberately trying to annoy me at the same time. It is why I'm relieved that COVID means my family can't come back necessarily-if they do, they risk looking like jerks if they do bring the germ to me. Besides they would have to endure a fourteen-day quarantine with me in the house. Traveling as a schizoaffective is exhausting because you get tired easily. Traveling as a psychic with schizoaffective and OCD has tired me out in the past, traveling with both parents who have untreated mental health issues, is exhausting on a good day.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder In My Family Causes Me Stress

They refuse to seek help, and they refuse to get therapy, so I refuse to be around them. I refuse to be around anybody who is picking fights with me. This is an antisocial behavior I need to remove myself from. I'm run down, stressed out, and wanting to avoid anybody who is picking a fight with me feeling entitled to communicate with me while not being on medication since apparently you like to get angry without medication to tame you since you think you intimidating me with it, makes you bad.

Why I Cannot Deal With Your Behavior Anymore and I Remove Myself

I read that ODD makes people angry and resentful. It's like I'm raising my parents instead of them raising me or relating to your adult child. How my parents have stayed together all this time defies logic, but they act as each other's narcissistic supply. I also realize that I didn't display ODD as a child until I was 12, when family drama heated up as I was deciding and exploring in what ways was I different from my mom and dad. My mother acts like she is angry with me all the time. It is insanely difficult for me to be around her at this time. People with ODD have a hard time being told what to do, and with narcissism mixed in, I really am dealing with people who are stuck with the emotional maturity of a three-year old.

I'm fed up with them drinking and not taking medication. I'm fed up with being the bad guy for taking medication, being in control, and told I take too much medication by family sounding boards. No, dears, buspar is an antianxiety med that prevents my panic attacks. People with ODD go to great lengths to win an argument, doing things to deliberately annoy people. ODD people also get into fights a lot, having an intensive trigger that sets them off easily. ODD folks argue at work a lot, acting in non-civil ways with coworkers or their boss, overreacting to an order sometimes. They eat smelly foods for lunch, and violate company policies a lot on purpose. They get physically aggressive, which often results in being fired. They also have meltdowns when they get constructive criticism. Example: Tell my mother she had typos and she would flip.

Help Is Necessary.

I've run out of ways to keep myself safe other than not going to visit my parents for any reason, period. My family is not into taking time outs when conflict will get worse, they keep going. It is something to see, the nonstop arguing. I think my parents struggled with their teens being a time to separate themselves from their family's identity for them. I'm the only authority figure mom has ever been able to rebel against.

I'm worried about their mental health since nobody is on medication, or in therapy, or dealing with their mental health issues at all. Actually, it could be said my entire family ignores me because I feel like they want to, I bring up mental health, and they just don't pay attention to my work save on Facebook where they might read my updates. People with ODD have frequent anger outbursts that I find rabidly difficult to deal with. In my homeowner's association rules, it says to move the car on the second Wednesday of every month only because that is the day there is street sweeping, some people don't do this. In college, I remember mom was shocked when an office wouldn't let her inside because she was wearing perfume since it was a scent free environment. I went inside to handle my business on my own as she spluttered.

Get the Message?

They would rather deal with a fine for not moving their cars than actually moving their cars. For some reason my family can handle working, but I am starting to wonder if the opposite was true for the both of them, in which case, I have to wonder how I made it through high school with the two of them constantly in my face. ODD people are vicious. Being around them scares me because I'm on eggshells, and agitated. Those who are touchy are often angry, and I wonder now if one of my old roommates was ODD and bipolar. She went to work high off a marijuana brownie and thought her boss wouldn't notice.

She would consistently blame me for her misbehavior. Adults with ODD act vindictive at least twice in a two-month period. My parents never put themselves in a situation where their ODD impacts their social life, education, or their job. See, in my family they would rather knock back a few than take medication. They have untreated mental health problems that nobody listens to me about. So if my family ignores me, I'm going to have to take the same tactic and ignore them. They actually have active psychosis since they are not on any kind of medication. I need people to pray that my family gets treatment only because they aren't getting themselves help. There are active criteria that the DSM uses to define itself, mild symptoms are confined to one setting, moderate means symptoms are confined to two settings and severe means there are three major settings like, work, school, and home where people are acting out. I've spent years in therapy just trying not to be like my family.

I should have been in child-oriented therapy from the age of 4 on. But nobody thought children needed therapy. Family therapy helped my dad more than my mom. I should have also been on medication since the age of 1, but nobody thought children needed medication either.

Works Cited

https://www.additudemag.com/oppositional-defiant-disorder-in-adults/

https://www.additudemag.com/oppositional-defiant-disorder-in-adults/

Fighting Is Not Necessary

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)