Perimenopause, Hot Flashes and Night Sweats; At Least I Hope It’s Sweat!
Many times, especially lately, I have been going out of my way to learn new things. Sometimes it even seems that things go out of their way just for me to discover them. This story is one of those times when discovery searched out and found me, quite unexpectedly, and with somewhat amusing results.
Perimenopause and Hot Flashes
Over the last 15 or more years, the doctors have diagnosed me as being perimenopausal – they call it going through the change of life. I know that sounds like a really long time, and considering the fact that I still have not “arrived”, believe me – it is a really long time. In retrospect, it probably is tied in with the infertility issues I have also had to deal with.
During this period of time I have had hot flashes both at night and during the day but had not considered them to be too bad – uncomfortable, but not too bad. The worst was at night over the last couple years when I would get hot, sweat a little, and remove the covers only to find myself freezing a few minutes later. This process disrupted my sleep as it cycled over and over through the night.
Over the last few months, the heat during the hot flashes has become uncomfortably intense, both during the day and during the night. I often have found myself feeling like my body was too close to a bed of coals. The concentrated and intense heat seemed to radiate out of my very core causing me great discomfort.
Perimenopuase and Night Sweats
I had always considered the cycle I mentioned earlier as being what everyone referred to as night sweats. I often woke up to damp night clothes and damp bedding. But last night changed all that.
It began just like any other night – or so I thought. Things turned out a little differently this time, however. When I woke up this morning, and moved around a little, I felt . . . well . . . I felt . . . ah, wet! I felt my tummy and it was abnormally wet. That is unless you consider a puddle of water on top of you to be normal. And my night gown was very wet, almost sopping. I told my husband, "I am soaked!" He reached over and pulled away quickly, expressing his disgust with an exclamation, “Uuuugh!” Just the thing that every wife wants to hear when her husband touches her, uuuugh! Surely he could come up with something better than that!
Believe me, he did! I realize that we have a business that provides care for the elderly, so I am going to have to cut him some slack . . . maybe! But do you know what he said next? He said, “You didn’t pee on yourself, did you?”
I didn’t what?
Surely I didn’t hear what he had just said to me clearly? “What did you say?” I decided that I would give him another chance to clarify what he really meant to say.
And he did not fail me, saying, “You didn’t pee on yourself, did you?”
No, my hearing was still working. He said what I thought he said, despite the fact that I had given him the opportunity to change his story.
“Nooooo!” I said shaking my head slightly. The word was extra-long and a little higher pitched at the end, with my disgust at him having asked the question hopefully quite apparent.
Or Was It Night Sweats?
But now it gets worse! Now it begins to get ugly!
Now he has me second guessing myself. So when he isn’t looking, I tentatively sniff the air. Everything smells fine. Yeah, everything smells just fine. Or does it?
I ever so slightly lift the covers, trying to look inconspicuous and making sure he isn’t looking as I move my nose slightly closer to the covers edge, and take a little deeper whiff. Ahhhh . . . still in the clear.
Okay, one more final test to make sure. I slowly bring my hands to my nose, and gingerly take a sniff. Whew! Safe! It was just a very profuse amount of sweat. This is how the dreaded night sweats discovered me on a cold January night.
Getting Even
Later in the morning, I was able to get even with my husband without even trying. (Winking!) After having gotten ready for the day, I walk toward my husband who is sitting at his desk with a cup of coffee in his hand. “You know, I can’t believe you said that …”, I begin.
“Said what?” He asks in all innocence like I am going to fall for that!
“Asking me if I peed on myself,” I said to him shaking my head.
A remorseful look started to form on his face (Again, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt!), but my attention was drawn to the dogs who were vying for my affection by jumping on my legs.
I continued speaking without looking up at him again, “But even worse, I had to double check to make sure that it hadn’t happened.” This unexpected remark was answered by snorting and coughing as the coffee he was drinking tried to exit his mouth and nose as quickly as possible.
Moral of the Story
Husband should not ask wife such foolish questions or he shall risk suffering what fate will mete out to him.
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2011 Cindy Murdoch (homesteadbound)
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Hey men! What do you need to know about perimenopause?
Books by Dr. Sherrill Sellman:
Additional Links:
- Perimenopause - MayoClinic.com
Perimenopause — Comprehensive overview covers symptoms, treatment, self-care of this life transition for women.
- Perimenopause - Symptoms, Treatments, Weight Gain, and More
Learn more about perimenopause, the stage of a woman's life leading up to menopause.
- Menopause - PubMed Health
PubMed Health specializes in reviews of clinical effectiveness research, with easy-to-read summaries for consumers as well as full technical reports. Clinical effectiveness research finds answers to the question What works? in medical and health care
Comments: "Perimenopause , Hot Flashes and Night Sweats; At Least I Hope It’s Sweat!"
Excellent and funny. I get the occasional hot flash, but I dread menopause. My kids have already started my menopause cage in the back yard.. LOL. I love your sense of humor!
Haha I loved the ending! Very interesting topic. I couldn't stop reading :-) Great job. Very very entertaining while still being informative!
I've been in peri for a couple of years. I don't have sweats because I swear by ground flax seed. Try it and get back to me! :)
Hi Cindy,
Great hub ~ loved the information and the humor. I'm afraid that my "misery" has just begun and I'm not looking forward to the future. It's winter and I am still wearing shorts (inside) and probably will the entire season. Things are changing . . .
Sharyn
Great information homesteadbound about menopause. It's such a pity that our husbands can be so naive to some of the growing pains of their wives. vote up and useful. Thank you for sharing.
Very interesting. I will make sure I do watch the videos. It's all very strange. Thanks again.
Men, a hopeless species, but you have to forgive him because they do not know any better! Try beetroot and carrot juice, it's been known to relieve menopausal symptoms.
So true! Night sweats are a pain. I found Sage tablets helped a lot. Seem to be easing now though. Thanks for a fun hub!
I'm glad you decided to publish this hub. I can relate to what you said, especially the stuff at the beginning when you were talking about being peri-menopausal for the last 15 years.
I think this has been happening to me for the last few years. Doctors try to reassure me that it can't be peri-menopause as they say I'm too young (at 38), and a blood test I had last year showed my hormones to be fine, (although I've heard that this test is not so reliable).
But you have described what I'm going through to a tee! Especially the part where you say "get hot, sweat a little, and remove the covers only to find myself freezing a few minutes later".
While I don't really want to be menopausal for a long time yet, thanks for reassuring me that I'm not going crazy!!
Though I admit I laughed when reading this, because it was very funny, it is not so funny for you I’m sure to be going through this for so long.
The herb sage is very useful for controlling hot sweats, you can drink it as a tea or a tincture is stronger so will have more effect. Also natural progesterone helps balance hormones both during menopause and with PMS. (This is a cream made from plant extracts, which you rub on your body and it does not contain the synthetic hormones in HRT.)
I am sorry to see that you haven’t been able to have children and feel grief. I had problems with infertility, so I can imagine how you feel. I was, however, very fortunate to have two children, if somewhat later that I would have preferred.
Hi Cindy, I love the lighthearted funny way you have written this - but oh! I so sympathise, these hot sweats at night time are just horrible! fortunately I seem to be over the worse of it now, but our men folk do need to be briefed on the subject!!!
A BIG vote up!
Awesome Hub! I found it really amazing on Hub Pages. Thanks to share. Voted up
homesteadbound I bet it took a minute to press that publish button.lol This is a great hub and one that shows the humor in spite of the uncomfortableness. I can identify wit this hub.
I find you so funny! My period was over 23 years ago when I had my early menopausal. There are lots of griefs it brought me -- no kids, high BP, and hormonal imbalance. I liked the way you wrote because it is actually real life and informative and I know it will lessen the fear for women who dread menopausal period. Good job, HSB :)
This was such a funny and great hub. This is something many women have gone through..Thank you for sharing and making me laugh out loud..but sorry for your night sweats too..:) The joys of being a woman.lol
Sunnie
whack your elbow please... and find your funny bone... it is impossible to be in a grouchy mood and laugh...
Oh...those were the days! When my mother was going through her menopause we kids were already gone from home and she told me that when she would soak one bed she would get up and crawl into another and so forth. Kept several beds going but at least she didn't have to sleep in wet sheets.
I experienced the same as you from the sounds of it but thankfully it is now over. The grouchiness comes from lack of sleep. Some women get weepy but most that I knew and compared notes with got grouchy or had spurts of anger. Not fun for the men in our lives!
Sooner or later it ends. Then we just have to contend with the sprouting whiskers growing on our chin and thinning hair on our heads and wrinkles. Oh well...at least no night sweats! Something to look forward to! Ha!
Best wishes from one who has walked in your shoes and survived to tell the tale.
ROLFLOL! I do care... it is a horrid thing to go through... being close to 300 years old myself... I am sure I went through this in a former life! But all kidding aside... My mom did not have a good time with this and my sisters are going through it now... It is not pleasant for anyone involved.
What a horrible thing to have to go through... let alone for 15 years. There was a really good book that I can not remember the title of but it was by I. P. Freely.
Most women in my family went through menopause in only a few months or less. I hope it will be fairly quickly for me when I reach that age.
I needed one, thanks!
I feel your pain! I have been having night sweats for almost 5 years now - darn those hormones! It got so bad that I actually developed a line of fun & flirty night sweat sleepwear that works by absorbing moisture directly from the skin - no more pools of water, no more feeling cold, wet, and clammy. Let me know if you want to try it with the view toward possibly doing a review - www.drybabe.com - I wish you an uninterrupted night's sleep - Wendy.
I can't stop laughing. Marriage is the same all over. Thanks for an intimate peek into your life. I worked at a mental health hospital. I overheard some nurses talking on their break. They said a lot of sex helps to alleviate the symptoms.
I am experiencing Men-o-pause. I will wonder why I walked into a room with such a sense of purpose only to draw a blank! I will have to go do something else before it comes back to me.
A great anecdote to bring up an important topic. Some good-natured ribbing strengthens a relationship. Voted up.
I was hooked right from the beginning with the title! Great way to bring some fun to a topic that most of us hate to think about - loved it!
I have gone through menopause after my hysterectomy - still going through it - and the night sweats are horrible! I am glad that you could give your hubby a hard time about his comment!
I was going to vote this hub "funny", but then I decided on "interesting" instead, because although your story sounds funny I'm sure the experience itself wasn't amusing! I wish you the best of luck for the future - fifteen years is a long time to experience hot flashes.
I share with you many items. Very useful insight you shared with us. Enjoyed the family dynamics and conversations. Thank you!
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