ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Reactions towards Death

Updated on July 8, 2013
Source

Grieving for a Pet

I am going to share a few of my personal experiences of death in this hub and how they effected or influenced my personal outlook towards death. The most recent I experienced was the death of my beloved red devil cichlid "Mr. Fish" who had lived to the ripe old age of 15yrs. I felt so guilty for his death because he died shortly after we had moved; the stress of the move was too much for him. I knew he didn't deal with change well as the last move we did he didn't eat for a week after the move. I even wrote hubs on my interactions with my beloved "Mr. Fish". I had become very attached to him indeed so when he didn't recover from the stress of the last move I was heartbroken. I was shocked on how hard I took his death; I broke down sobbing and crying over the loss of this dear companion. Most people thought I was bonkers getting that upset over the death of a fish. If he had of been a dog or a cat- society in general would have been more compassionate towards my loss and would have been more understanding of my grief. But as it was a fish and not a cute furry pet; I was dealing with my grief of my loss alone. To help myself with the grieving process I painted a stone (which happened to be in the shape of a small tombstone) personalizing it with his name etc. I then buried him in my backyard. It was a private funeral the only ones attending- "Mr.Fish" and myself. I myself have thought people who treat their pets like humans were a bit on the mad side; but here I was reacting in this way to the death of my dear water-dog - "Mr. Fish".

Death Hovers

My second view on death comes from me dealing with having Epilepsy- I take grandmal or tonic-clonic seizures. I have lived on my own for many years through-out my life; most of my seizures I have had alone. I have suffered many injuries during seizures such as fat lips, black-eyes, chewed tongue; sometimes looking like I just lost a big boxing match. Even though I get some bumps and bruises along the way the one thing I am truly thankful for is that I have survived yet another seizure. I move forward still alive to continue to drive my loved ones crazy!

One of the most common questions I have been asked is "Aren't you afraid that you can die from a seizure?" To be honest - with my disability death is always looming in the dark recesses of my mind. I have decided to make the best of my life and spend my time living it instead of worrying about the "what if's".

The fear I feel seconds before I go into a seizure is very terrifying because I don't know if this is the one I won't survive as well as being filled with a complete feeling of helplessness. I have attached a link to a poem I wrote to give you a sense of what the seizure experience is from my point of view. But in the mean time I don't spend my time thinking of death- we cannot predict how or when we will die excluding suicide. I could end up dying by getting stepped on by an angry elephant for all I know!


Death is Part of Life!

Death is a part of all of our lives - we are born to die; what we do in between being born and death is different for each and every one of us. We all have our own individual takes on death some of us embracing it- seeing it as a portal to a life beyond the physical one we have here on earth. Others fear it for many different reasons; many in the North American society prefer not to confront it or discuss it openly; it is almost shunned by many as a topic not up for discussion.

I believe part of the reason we tend to hold death or the grieving process at arms length is because for many of us as immigrants we did not deal with our family or loved ones deaths in a hands-on fashion but from a great distance. As immigrants we were separated from our families and loved ones; this separation also greatly affected the way we expressed ourselves after the death of a loved one. I believe this long distance process of grieving is being continued on here through the next generations. Many used to have the body of the loved one in the family home where it would be displayed for all to come and pay their respects. In my culture (Scottish) this was a common practice which would be accompanied by a wake.
A wake was a celebration or party held to celebrate the life of the deceased. My immediate family came here (Canada) alone so when loved ones died in our family we could not attend their wakes and funerals as we could not afford the expense. Because of our isolation we were forced to find a new way of expressing our grief which was basically - tears with a few words spoken in memory of our loved one or stories that involved them along with looking through the family photo albums.


Grieving Long Distance

I think because Canada is a multi-cultural country it uses funeral-homes as the main place for people to gather to grieve the loss of a loved one. Funeral-homes are operated in a less personal way and standard way compared to the traditional rituals of the immigrants homelands. I guess much of the traditions surrounding death or the grieving process have for many immigrants gotten lost in translation and transition when they immigrated to the land of the free. Included in the price of starting a new life in a new country was the loss of the close experience of death and being unable to share in the grieving process with family and loved ones that are still living in the homeland. This is one of the sacrifices immigrants are willing to make when coming to this great country - Canada!


http://pamela-anne.hubpages.com/_30hjuw4m9wa0p/hub/Space-of-Grim

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Pamela-anne profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela-anne 

      5 years ago from Miller Lake

      Thanks for the positive response to my hub on death take care and God bless!

    • jesusmyjoy profile image

      Betty Bolden 

      5 years ago from Bucyrus Ohio

      nice work

    • Pamela-anne profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela-anne 

      5 years ago from Miller Lake

      Thanks so much for the votes Michael most appreciated as well as the kind words and insightful comments; sorry I didn't get back sooner but I was on holidays. Take care and bye for now thanks for your support -

      pamela-anne:)

    • Michael-Milec profile image

      Michael-Milec 

      5 years ago

      Hi Pamela-Anne

      Yes, it is personal and is beautifully expressed. Many of us, going through similar experiences of emotional sensibilities , being separated by the distance from the original roots, keep mainly to ourselves what you just shared out of your heart . We didn't know what to expect in " new word ", however were given grace to deal with personally or among very small circle of relatives/friends. No surprise to me how the "rest " of the world around me reacts, its just depressing seeing people to interact with little or no experience / interest of what the neighbors are going through.

      You did it very good to yourself going through affliction as your spiritual need has been met. Joy of memories will make you stronger and you will have more encouraging stories to tell us.

      Voted useful and beautiful.

      Be blessed.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Thanks for sharing this immigrant's perspective of death which I had not thought of. Thinking it through like you did, is a helpful tool in dealing with grief. Praying that you find comfort and strength in your personal situation.

    • profile image

      Vickiw 

      5 years ago

      I'm sorry to hear about your loss, and that you experienced the judgement of others regarding its importance to you. As facilitator of a bereavement support group, I know that all losses are important and deserving of compassionate sympathy. I hope you will feel feel better in time. Feel free to email if you think I can help.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)