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Planning A Funeral

Updated on January 22, 2011

Planning A Funeral-Not An Easy Task

Planning a funeral for a loved one is probably one of the hardest things anyone will ever have to do.

There is a lot that needs to be thought about when thinking just isn't coming very easy.  All you want to do is mourn but that is impossible when you have all the planning to do.

Everything seems like a blur but some how you know you need to find the strength to move on and make things right.

When I say right you want to make sure you make the plans that your loved one wanted for his funeral.

If there isn't a clear understanding of what your loved one wanted then this task becomes even more difficult.

Planning A Funeral-What Is Needed?

When planning a funeral there will be a lot of questions to answer and a lot of decisions to be made.  These will all be things you have never thought of and now at your weakest moment you will have to figure things out.

Things like a prayer for the obituary, a picture, will casket be open or closed and what kind of casket will it be.

Those are just a few.  Did you ever think you would have to pick music for a funeral, plan a menu, pick music and pictures for a power point or video

Now you have to help with the eulogy and make sure you contact everyone.  Not to mention picking pall bearers and the list goes on and on.

Planning A Funeral-How Do You Cope?

So you are in the middle of planning a funeral and all you can do is cry and think the entire time.

So how are you going to get through the tears and still get everything done.  Well people are usually very caring and will give you the time you need to make decisions.

There are some that need to be made rather quickly but you would be surprised how you can pull through and make things happen.

The thing is I know the things need to be done but I also know with a little effort things can be made so much easier.

If only people would put some thought into their own death they would be giving us the best gift they could give us at their demise.

Planning A Funeral-Do Your Homework

After the recent death of my father who I love so much we had the task of planning the funeral.  Of course we got through it but there was so much we had to figure out and so much we still have to figure out.

We had to guess at a lot of dads last wishes because they just weren't written any where.  I don't mean his will but I mean the so called little things like the music at his funeral.

We still are looking for a lot of paper work we assumed was in the safety deposit box but wasn't.  The only thing in the box was his will but we have no clue where his life insurance policies are.

By planning for death this can all be avoided.  I sometimes feel like I was cheated out of mourning because of the extra things that need to be done.

Don't get me wrong.  I miss my dad so much it hurts and this hub explains it.  However I feel like I have to move on a little quicker then I wanted to.

Planning A Funeral-It Can Be Easier

Call me a redneck or a heck but I knew there had to be an easier way when it came to planning a funeral.

I decided to do some research after the fact to see if I could make things easier on my kids when it came to planning my funeral.

Well people its time to not be selfish and put some plans into place so that when your time comes you allow your children to be able to mourn without having to worry about the details.

Don't you want to put the details to bed now and forget about them. I'm talking about the little details like pall bearers, music, meals, life insurance and so forth.

These are things that if we don't take care of our children will have to and that really isn't fair to them.

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    • Dale Mazurek profile imageAUTHOR

      Dale Mazurek 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Hi KCC

      Those are the little things that people do not realize until they do have to go through something like this.

      Thank you very much for stopping by

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      KRC 

      9 years ago from Central Texas

      Great information Dale. When my son died in 2003 the one that caught me offguard was when I made that first phone call to the funeral home to make the appointment to go down and make the arrangements, they wanted me to bring his clothes. That was extremely difficult and I know that's one of those things that's also very difficult to pre-plan.

      It's caused my family to be more aware of pre-planning too.

    • Dale Mazurek profile imageAUTHOR

      Dale Mazurek 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Thanks Money. My goal is to get people planning ahead. I love my dad dearly and he truly was one of my very best friends but being old fashioned he decided there wasnt a need for pre planning.

      My wife and I have already started our plans so that our kids will not have to worry about the little details involved in planning a funeral.

    • Money Glitch profile image

      Money Glitch 

      9 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for sharing this process that everyone must face when a loved one has died. No one understands the pain and the strain it puts on the family members until it happens.

      My dad had some things in order, but not all. Seven months later we are still trying to sort those things out and questioning some of the things that are being said were his wishes. Hopefully, this hub will lead others to plan ahead...

    • Dale Mazurek profile imageAUTHOR

      Dale Mazurek 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Rope you make some good points that I havent thought about because my father died at home where we had access to the little amount he did have.

      Thanks for the comment.

    • The Rope profile image

      The Rope 

      9 years ago from SE US

      Another well laid out hub - timely reminders for all of us. My mother refuses to put things to paper but keeps dropping hints so we are keeping a list for her. One word of caution, once you put your plans together, make sure everyone reads it! We had to plan my father's funeral in a strange town with no time to drive 5 hours home to get his list of wishes. I'm so glad he had been so vocal, when we got home, we got the ultimate gift - peace in knowing we had fulfilled his wishes to a "T".

    • Dale Mazurek profile imageAUTHOR

      Dale Mazurek 

      9 years ago from Canada

      The thing is so many documents we cant even find.

      I will make sure my kids never have to go through this.

      I know my dad didnt do this on purpose. Its just going to take us a lot longer and for now thats okay but people really need to do some planning ahead to alow time for grieving.

    • emievil profile image

      emievil 

      9 years ago from Philippines

      Dale, this is a great hub and thanks for sharing your experience. When my father died, we were not around where he was to make arrangements for his coffin, the funeral, etc. Luckily for us, his friends stepped in and arranged everything. But what we made sure of was that all his documents such as life insurance, land titles, passbooks, bank accounts etc. were gathered by somebody whom we can trust. So when we got back, we just picked these up and sorted them. Another difficult task was transporting our father's body from where he died to his birthplace where my relatives are living. Again, my father's friends stepped in and we were all able to get a flight back to his hometown. If not for his friends, we would have been lost. My father didn't have a will either but it's a good thing that some of us are accountants, we knew how to settle his estate (small as it is, we still need to settle it). Thanks again for this hub and I hope you're doing okay now after your father's death.

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