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Poetry: A New Me

Updated on March 12, 2015

Do you know someone who was a victim of sexual assault, or have you yourself experienced this horrible thing?

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This is a poem I wrote after being a victim of rape (by a couple of boys who WERE my friends, no more). The point I admitted how much the experience changed me.

I have been lost and replaced by someone who is only half of myself.

The very core of myself has been changed,

it has gone somewhere and I don't think it's coming back.

What is there to do with half a person?

Feelings pour out of me without any consent, and with no intent to let up.

Sleep evades me nightly, but eventually comes with the daylight.

Fear is a constant in this life of mine, second only to the emptiness of nothing,

and the stab of suspiciousness.

Always second guessing, never trusting that first feeling,

Or thought, or reacton.

Being a confident person in person, falling apart behind the curtains.

Always, always being on guard.

How tiring is this life of mine?

Maybe a double edged sword of my own,

something that can not be evaded,

Only delt with as it comes.

The feeling of not being in control...of myself.

This is something that cannot be explained, only felt and observed.

A close eye is the only eye that can catch these things,

or perhaps, that is completely untrue.

Help is a simple word...but with what meaning does it come?

Will it really heal, and help, and give surviving as a gift?

Will it give me myself back, take the nothing away, or give me what I've lost?

I could only imagine all the possabilities, but only one reality.


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    • baybpnk profile image

      Nicole 3 years ago from Michigan (the Mitten), United States

      Thank you for your support! This happened years ago and although it has changed me, I am a new person now and have come a very long way from where this experience dumped me in life.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      I'm so sorry you had this experience and I wish you all the best in finding the strength you deserve. I sure wish I could offer you words of wisdom to take away the pain, or better yet be that crazy BFF to go track those boys down and never ever let them forget what they've done. Don't you let this break you! Get the support you need so you can RISE UP as the brilliant woman you are. You are STRONG, POWERFUL and a ON FIRE. Claim your place in the world.

    • profile image

      Stargrrl 3 years ago

      Excellent and insightful poem. I enjoyed it, and I am sorry you really experienced it. No one should.