ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Loss of a Loved One

Updated on May 30, 2020
Pamela99 profile image

I spent 22 years in the nursing profession. I enjoy writing, reading historical novels, gardening, and helping people live a healthier life.

Red Rose

A red rose withers

Her smile lights up her wrinkled brow

How long will she last?



Grief when Losing a Loved One

Every day is a new beginning, yet sometimes it is also an ending. How does one prepare for the inevitable? When one you adore that has lived a long full life but is nearing the end, should not I feel joy for that long life? After all 94 years is certainly a very good and long life; it is filled with wonderful memories. I believe there is a better place for her on the other side of that door; yet, for her to be to be there with the Lord will leave a big hole in me.

My Mother at (91 yrs. old) at her Great Granddaughter's Wedding

My Picture 5/25/2015
My Picture 5/25/2015

Loving Care

I have cared for my mother in my home for the past twelve years. My husband also adores my mother. She is a strong woman. She has survived her left leg being amputated due to a surgeon’s error. She learned to walk again with a prosthesis.

Last summer she broke her right hip, which meant the stump leg had to become her strong leg, and she is walking again. She has survived many heart problems, and she still goes and to play bridge with her friends. She never complains, and yet, I’ve watched her struggle. Mentally, she has remained sharp and can still correct my writing! She did have to give up driving due to poor vision.

12 Suggestions for Dealing with Grief and Loss

Love of a Mother

My mother is known as a sweet woman and is loved by her community of friends and the family. She is the one that I can tell anything to and she does not judge me. I have been so blessed having a mother like her.



The cardiologist says she badly needs a mitral valve replacement but would not survive the surgery. Of course, I knew she would not survive forever. The medicine she is taking now has relieved most of the symptoms except for the fatigue.

As a nurse, I know exactly how serious this condition is as she has developed pulmonary hypertension, a complication of the mitral valve problem. I don't know how much time she has left, but with that diagnosis I know it will be shorter than I would choose even though I know she has lived much longer than the average person.

Many people are facing this same problem. One thing that does make it less difficult is the fact that I know exactly what her wishes are as to a funeral and to all the things she owns. There will be no sibling bickering or problems, which is a big relief. My husband and I have also paid for and made arrangements for our funerals when we leave this world. We want to make things as easy on our children as possible.

Advice From a Friend

I have a friend whose mother has Alzheimer’s disease. He spends a lot of time with her at the nursing home, yet he says while her body is alive, she is gone. He says to talk with my mother as often as possible. He wishes fervently that he could actually talk to his mother. He would trade places with me, but I am still sad for him.

Dreaming Of Dead Relatives: The Things They Want To Tell You

Nothing Left Unsaid

So, how do you prepare yourself for that inevitable loss? I try to focus on the present day. My mother is up and drinking her morning coffee while reading the paper. When she sleeps much later than usual, I peek in the door to make sure she is still with us. I guess there is no easy way. At least I know what is ahead, and I can make sure to leave nothing unsaid. I can laugh, talk, talk about old funny times and truly enjoy her each day. I will have positive memories, and that is worth a lot. I treat my mother well, and I don't have regrets about what I should be doing am not. I think that is important.

I'm not sure why I wrote this hub as I am not sure it will help anyone, but I felt the need to express my grief I guess. So many of my friends lost their parents very young, and certainly younger than my mother So, I know I am blessed and should quit feeling sorry for myself. This just is not one of my best days.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and does not substitute for diagnosis, prognosis, treatment, prescription, and/or dietary advice from a licensed health professional. Drugs, supplements, and natural remedies may have dangerous side effects. If pregnant or nursing, consult with a qualified provider on an individual basis. Seek immediate help if you are experiencing a medical emergency.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)