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Life Coaching - Psychological Triggers that Make Us Do The Things We Do

Updated on May 26, 2011

Why Don't We Do the Best Things for Ourselves?

Life Coaching - Psychological Triggers that Make Us Do The Things We Do

We try to think of ourselves as wise, that we know ourselves, that we can read others, and that we have a self awareness about the world around us. Yet, we all do things and we don’t know why. We know what we want for ourselves, yet we don’t always achieve it. We know what is good for us, yet we eat the wrong things. We know we should exercise more, spend less, be more organized, yet we inexplicably falter on our path. Sometimes we are seeking perfection, sometimes, failure, We   don’t always know why we do the things we do. We can be guided  on a conscious level.

Our feelings and thoughts affect our behavior, our habits, and our decisions. Very often we know what we need to do, but we do not always make the correct choices. Studies show that a low self esteem plays a part in poor choices. For example, people may spend more of their money when their self esteem is low. Logically, money is not connected to self worth, but on an emotional level it is. It is important to understand the psychological obstacles that stand in our way and keep us from making less than wise choices for ourselves. We often impose our own limitations and barriers to achieving more for ourselves. Knowing your own values and principles will help you line up your desires with your needs and help you with the discipline and willpower it takes to achieve beyond your needs and to reach your desires and dreams. It is your internal drive and self motivation that will take you where you want to go. Life coaching, self improvement, and counseling involve a greater sense of knowing yourself. Prioritize yourself so that your choices lead you to making wise decisions. Evaluate your thinking, your choices, and your values so that you can help motivate yourself.

Self Beliefs Affect Our Behavior

There is a connection with our thought processes and attitudes to our actions. It will help to take note of what you are thinking as you are acting. Inner reflection and self awareness are keys to knowing who we really are and what we want for ourselves. Sometimes people do things that thwart their efforts towards achieving. Our moods, our attitudes and our self beliefs have a definite effect on our behaviors. Successful life coaching involves understanding your own needs. Feelings of lack of fulfillment requires us to fill the void. People will overspend, overeat, take drugs, drink to excess, or take on risky behavior in a vain attempt to fill the need. Take some time to think about what you really are looking for and what constructive steps you can take to change your circumstances for the better. Challenging that behavior which is counterproductive and doing things that are constructive through your own life coaching, will lead you to greater satisfaction in all areas of your life from work to relationships.Life coaching for yourself involves understanding your needs and desires.

Irrational Thinking Creates False Beliefs

People have irrational thought processes that lead to irrational behavior. We make connections between products, purchasing decisions, and the clutter of stuff that accumulates around us. In order to get us to buy, advertising marketers use what is called psychographics. Psychographics is the study of people’s lifestyle, views of the world, ambitions and needs. Advertisers concentrate on these aspects and create psychological triggers that tap into our self psychology. We react without knowing why we are responding to the need and have difficulty staying rational and logical. Even with an ordinary instance like shopping. Shopping, for example is part need, part social, and part entertaining. Malls are designed to keep shoppers in the shopping area for at least 3 hours. Studies have shown most purchases are made in the third hour of shopping. Music, aromas, and eye pleasing environments create a situation that makes it nice and comfortable to stay in the mall. We think we are wandering around, but we will give in and buy something eventually. We are not even aware that we are doing this. Marketers understand our motivations better than we do. The more selection of products we see, the more likely we are to buy.

Television and movies influence our thinking and our perception of success. Society helps define what we believe is a successful person somewhat by the car we drive, clothes we wear, the jewelry we have, and other accessories that define how we look. Having an air of success gives us clout. Appearing wealthier gives an impression of success. However, it is mentally healthy to separate the things you have from your quality of life. Measure your happiness with intrinsic values of life, not materialistic things. Intrinsic values are the very things you can’t buy. Live your lifestyle based on what makes you happy, not what you can buy, or what other people tell you to buy. People sometimes buy themselves things because they feel something is lacking and they deserve to have some entitlement. However, if someone challenges this thinking, they may realize there are other ways help themselves through this feeling. When you take control over your decisions and choices to create more balance in your life. Let your decisions be logical and rational so that your decisions are not based on fear or low self esteem

Grasp the Reigns of Life and Just Do It!

Compensating for the things you lack in your life will not yield the results your truly need. Our history, our psychological makeup, the current goings on in our lives and the roles we play in our lives, add to the complications to creating a sense of balance and emotional well being we need.

People often abandon their New Year’s Resolutions without understanding their deep seated inner messages and beliefs. You need to know yourself so that your efforts match your true self.

The reverse happens when we try to adhere to something we believe we ‘should’ be doing. This can cause frustration and lead to self destructive behavior. To feel healthy and productive and to be healthy and productive we need to understand about our self messages, negative thoughts, and how our experiences impact our inner being. Sometimes it is a matter of unlearning, and sometimes it is a matter of challenging our fears. Life coaching involves looking towards an inner strength. To gain power over your anxieties, fears, and negative messages, will help you gain the freedom to step out of your comfort zone and into a new bigger world for yourself.

It is important to look at the environment you grew up in, the things you were told, and the self image you acquired from the many influences that impacted your experiences. Emotional damage is real, and it affects each of us deeply and in ways you may not even understand. The only real way to achieve beyond the boundaries you believe are there, is to develop healthy strategies that help nurture your emotional wounds and help you head towards a path of healing and self fulfillment. Many people trap themselves with self destructive behavior and unconscious actions that hold them back from true happiness. Fears and denials, rationalizations, and poor coping skills are harmful to our psychological well being. Self awareness is the key. Shed the shame, guilt, fears and irrational thoughts that rule you. Encourage yourself to be bigger than you have ever been. Take responsibility for your actions and inactions. Grasp the reigns of life and move forward. It is not easy to go from here to there, but only you can make it happen. So ask yourself, what are you waiting for? Who are you waiting for? When you know the answer, you will see you have been waiting for YOU all along!

We Do Things for the Good and Bad Rewards We Get From It

Changing learned behavior and adapting new ways to deal with life’s obstacles will help you grow emotionally and is an active part of life coaching. Give yourself tools to deal with life. Be kind to yourself, you are all you have. Let yourself feel the smallest of confidence boosters.Let yourself radiate in the smallest of successes. Give yourself the opportunites to know what it feels like to feel good about something you did. You deserve this. Bask in the freedom of self fulfillment.

Everything you do gives you rewards. Some rewards are good. Some rewards are bad. Some people are attracted to the bad rewards because they never let go of how they think of themselves. There are very real and psychological causes for behaviors. Life coaching is a matter of understanding your behaviors so you can make a change for the better.. Change your thoughts, change your behavior. Change your behavior, change your actions. Change your actions and you change your life. Positive thinking will lead to more positive life circumstances and opportunities. You can do it... You just have to realize you want to do it!


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    • toknowinfo profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      I am glad to know this hub is helpful. It is important to learn about ourselves in order to grow emotionally. Thanks for the positive comments.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 

      8 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

      I love this very informative hub! I am always interested in self improvement and you have provided me with insight and knowledge. I am grateful ... rated up.

    • Healing Touch profile image

      Laura Arne 

      8 years ago from Minnetonka, MN

      Self exploration is always a good thing. I am a psycho therapist by trade, and I see everywhere those that do not want to look inside create lots of drama in the world.

      I vote up and awesome

    • Vickie Bovender profile image

      Vickie Bovender 

      8 years ago from Southeastern US

      Insightful -- for me especially. Thank you for this.

    • ImChemist profile image


      8 years ago

      Interesting informative hub , thanks for sharing it . rated and voted.

    • toknowinfo profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Hi Mark,

      Thanks for stopping by and for your nice comments. The more we know about ourselves the better. The psychology of human nature is very interesting.

    • toknowinfo profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      HI PR,

      Thanks for stopping by. Old habits are certainly hard to change. It takes approximately 30 days or longer for a change to become a new habit. We need to be patient and kind and diligent with ourselves if we want things to be different.

    • PR Morgan profile image

      PR Morgan 

      8 years ago from Sarasota Florida

      That is very true and eye opening. I like to think I have made changes but it is very difficult. I have a tendency to fall back into bad habits, but it is helpful to understand why it happens.

    • toknowinfo profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago


      Thanks for stopping by and saying hi. I believe we can harness such positive things within us, and for others, if we would just be true to ourselves.

    • kashmir56 profile image

      Thomas Silvia 

      8 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi toknowinfo, thanks for this very well written and awesome hub, i love to read hubs that makes me stop and think about something !

      Awesome hub and thumbs up !!!

      Have a great weekend my friend !

    • Mpho Mokobi profile image

      Mpho Mokobi 

      8 years ago from South Africa

      This hub is excellent. If we can go after that which we REALLY WANT instead of what society thinks we should have, we will never seize to astound ourselves.

      This is great, thanks.

    • toknowinfo profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Glad you enjoyed this hub.

      Thanks so much for voting for my hub about The History of Bathing from Ancient to Modern Times.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 

      8 years ago from South Africa

      This is my favorite kind of hubs. I believe the human psyche is the most complicated ‘existence’. I’ve bookmarked this and will come back for a second read. Thumbs UP! Oh, and I’ve voted for you hub to win in the The HubPages Top of the Class Contest. I’ll see you again soon.

    • amillar profile image


      8 years ago from Scotland, UK

      Very useful advice - I could have done with that advice when I was younger. Cheers.

    • Peter Owen profile image

      Peter Owen 

      8 years ago from West Hempstead, NY

      good advice.Balnce is everything

    • webgain profile image


      8 years ago from Delhi, India

      mentioned nice advice on this hub

    • toknowinfo profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Your absolutely right about it being hard for people to be content. That and extreme behavior are part of not knowing what we want from life, and not knowing why we do some things.

      Thanks for your vote and good wishes about my hub The History of Bathing and the contest I was nominated for.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 

      8 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      You're neck and neck with the peacock effect,good me,it's just as easy to be attracted to extreme behavior as it is hard for people to balance their emotions into contentment.I don't even think it's even sociably acceptable to be content.:

    • toknowinfo profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Hi Tony,

      Thanks so much for stopping by and reading my hub. It brings me great fulfillment that my hub is valuable enough to be bookmarked. All the best to you.

      P.S. my other hub about The History of Bathing from Ancient to Modern Times was nominated for the Top of the Class Contest. I sure would appreciate your vote. Thanks

    • tonymac04 profile image

      Tony McGregor 

      8 years ago from South Africa

      Thanks for this useful Hub which I have bookmarked for future reference. I love the sentence "Bask in the freedom of self fulfillment."

      Love and peace


    • toknowinfo profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Hi Fay, the just do it is the way to go, but it is easier said than done!

    • profile image

      Fay Paxton 

      8 years ago

      Very nice hub with some good insights and advice. Personally, I'm into the Nike model of living.


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