Resolutions? What Resolutions? Confessions of a So-Called Foodie

"Be at War with your Vices, at Peace with your Neighbours, and let every New-Year find you a better Man." Quoted in Benjamin Franklin's 1755 Poor Richard's
Almanac, December

Every New Years Eve my family gathers together to watch the festivities on Television. We enjoy watching pop artists from the year playing their hits and watching the crowd dancing and enjoying the party.

One of the discussions that my wife and I have prior to this festive ending is the discussion of our Resolutions for the New Years Beginning.

A Resolution is defined as being a firm decision made by an individual and each Resolution is firm in our minds when we pop the cork on the champagne, or sparkling mineral water in our case.

A Resolution is more of a peek at the things we want to change about our lives, a realization that it should happen not the actual action or showing of resolve.

We both agreed our Resolution was to eat better. So how does a family who prides itself in only serving homegrown fruits and veggies with free range meats and eggs from our chickens come to the decision that the big change in our lives for 2015 is to change our diet?

"For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words
await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning."
T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

Long before meeting my wife and starting my family I had a horrible diet of fast food. I did not care about food or what I put in my body.

The worst part was that I had a problem with overeating, which may be genetic since my mother has the same problem. I would sit and finish a whole large pizza in one sitting or clean out a store bought box of cookies without even thinking about it.

I had many problems with my health including severe IBD, Irritable Bowel Disorder, GURD, Gastric Reflux, and a gallbladder that just stopped working. I had other bad habits, but overeating is the topic of this article.

When I met my wife we both had issues with our eating. She was a vegetarian but not a healthy eating vegetarian at the time and both of us would just eat and eat.

Over the years we embraced the life of foodies and put more thought into what we ate and how we ate it. We changed and our health changed. I no longer suffered from IBD or GURD. The gallbladder sadly remained removed.

“Want a Coke?” Abra asked. “Sugar solves lots of problems, that’s what I think.” Stephen King "Doctor Sleep"

Have you ever seen the movie "This is Forty" where Paul Rudd sneaks cupcakes every chance he gets. This is me.

We try to keep only fresh healthy food in our house so my meals and snacks at home are generally healthy and this is a blessing.

The problem lies at work. On any given day there is a wide variety of donuts, cookies, and cakes. I love sweets. I love them so much I have no control. I will sit next to the cookies and put one after the other in my mouth.

Soon the fifteenth cookie and third slice of cake overpower the great salad I had for lunch. I have gone years now where my symptoms of IBD and GURD have not been present even with my work diet.

This year was different. I ate junk and more junk and never faltered in my continuous compacting of junk food into my belly. It was a nightmare. But to make matters worse the symptoms came back full swing and by Christmas I could hardly enjoy the Christmas treats through the pain.

I immediately felt the results of the sugar and its effects on my mood and my general health.

I felt strong in my resolve this year due to the way I had made myself feel.

If lists were made of all that feel my love

I'm sad to say that near the top, butter

and sugar, flour mixed for each flavor

on display, so sweet like a morning dove.

But like all love, sometimes the pleasure

will bring me back to the birth of my child

or when our eyes met and we first smiled,

times of confidence when we felt footsure.

So we can see in books that love is cruel

when we smile too long in sugary joy

with need and desire we consume all

with no control we eat like a fool

our minds devious plan or some odd ploy

to eat our cake and feel our earthly fall.

So for the first five days of January I avoided all sweets and ate only fresh food. I felt better, was thinking clearly again, and my belly had stopped it's aching.

But on the fifth day I returned to work and found a counter full of cookies and baked goods. I lost control again.

Today is the day after and I have been working on this article and thinking about my choices. "One day at a time" is a common mantra in AA and I find it fits here. Maybe today I can make it through the whole day without sugar. Maybe today will be a good day.