Colonoscopy- Searching for Polyps

Searching the colon for signs of disease is a common procedure called a Colonoscopy. A Colonoscopy is not something you remember, but something you forget. With the help of drugs that "knock you out", they search your colon for nasty little polyps. Some doctors provide the patient with a color photo of these little pink growths that they find, to show what has been hiding inside, where the sun doesn't shine! Here is my story!

I accompanied a very good friend to the clinic for her colonoscopy. The day before had been a day of preparation for the procedure. A few laxative pills to kick off the process made her day. She ate no real food and drank lots of gatorade mixed with another form of laxative. Yum! You guessed it, lots of visits were made to the porcelain convenience as a result.

The day of the procedure, I was the designated driver. Little did I know how important my job would be in this process. The check-in was uneventful, even boring. The time in the waiting room was minimal. As they called her name, we were escorted to a small room with a floor to ceiling curtain and a bed on wheels. Thank goodness they had a chair for me.

Your complete attire is provided for you. There was a wonderful hospital gown to wear, a recently heated blanket to keep her warm and thick socks if needed. While my friend stretched lazily on the bed, her vitals were taken. Aaaaaahhhhhh, warm and comfortable! Not!

Her fate to kick off the procedure was an enema, additional preparation for the search for polyps! As time passed, an IV was inserted in her arm, and grogginess ensued. While they wheeled my friend down the hallway, she was drifting off to sleep unaware that she would soon be searched. Can I have a Diet Coke while I wait? They serve them very cold in places like this!

I was moved to a recovery room just like the preparation room, but on a different hallway, to await my friend's return. With Diet Coke in hand, the nurse and I strolled around the corner to a room with one chair. I played Scrabble on my IPhone while I waited. Across the hall was a woman using her IPhone, checking her email! Forty five minutes passed and there she was. They wheeled her bed into place in the room where I sat.

Helloooooooo? No answer. ZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzz. What procedure? This woman was out of it. Watching her sleep was not much fun! I tapped her head, told her that her dog was missing her at home, but got no response. The doctor came in and gave a glowing report about his search for polyps. He had not found any. Maybe the next patient would be more cooperative?

The nurse came in and shook my friend's shoulder while shouting her name loudly. My friend opened one eye, mumbled something and went right back to sleep. I guess I was destined for more sleep watching. I took out my IPhone and snapped a couple of photos of the sleeping beauty. Could this be a future Facebook photo?

Waking up was a gradual process and we had more luck with a sip of Diet Coke than with conversation. It was another half hour before the leaving process could begin. I would sit her up, she would lay down. I would sit her up and she would lean the other way. "I never felt like this before." Oh yes you did when you had this done last time. "Oh!" I bet she said that five times in the next hour or so. You would have thought my friend had been down to Sixth Street and visited every bar along the way. Her speech was slurred, her knees were wobbly and she could not remember anything I told her! With lots of help, we eventually made it to the car. "I never felt this way before".....

As we drove home, I heard "What did the Doctor say?" She asked time and time again. I patiently repeated her good report each time, keeping my fingers crossed that she would remember the conversation in the morning.

Seriously, the doctor was great, the staff very supportive and the experience as good as it could be under such circumstances. My hat is off to those who are called to this area of medicine. Keep those Diet Cokes cold please!