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Serenity: Simple Steps for Recovering Peace of Mind, Happiness and Real Relationships
Need More Serenity in Your Life?
Think of Your Feelings as a Compass
Your feelings serve as a personal compass, letting you know where you are on your path to joy and serenity.
Unconditional, positive feelings like joy, contentment, love, compassion, wonder and gratitude let you know that you are experiencing life from your heart and your soul.
Negative feelings let you know that you are off course into your programmed thought system.
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Myths About Relationships
- Myth No. 1- Love is Blind
- Myth No. 2- It is Important to be Compatible
- Myth No. 3- It is Important to Communicate About Problems
- Myth No. 4- Never Go to Sleep Until You Have Resolved an Argument
- Myth No. 5- A Relationship without Fights is Superficial or One-Sided
- Myth No. 6- You'll Be Happy Once Circumstances Changes
- Myth No. 7- Jealousy is Just a Sign They Care
- Myth No. 8- You Need to Be in a Relationship to Be Happy
Feelings Compass Chart
Heart and Soul
High level of consciousness
Low level of consciousness
Blame and anger
Blindness to miracles
Peace of mind
Love is the Ultimate Reality, Ego is the Ultimate Illusion
What Thoughts are You Giving Up Your Happiness For?
Many people believe that their happiness depends on their circumstances, or worse, circumstances beyond their control.
"I'll be happy when I lose weight..." "I'll be happy when I find a job..." "I'll be happy once I find someone to love..."
If you aren't happy now, you won't be happy when you get that "thing" you think will make you happy. Happiness lies within you, not within someone or something else.
Some people choose to live each day like it's a gift, others live each day like it's a chore. You can think and believe anything you want to think and believe, the choice is yours. And your emotions are a direct result of your thoughts and beliefs. We create what is going on around us in the world through the energy of our own thoughts and feelings.
What world are you creating through your thoughts and feelings?
Read Chasing Serenity
Quiet: An Absence of Thoughts Running Wild in a Thought System
Quiet isn't always silence, rather quiet is an absence of thoughts that way you down, stress you out and suck all the serenity out of your life. Face it, life is hectic. We all have a billion things to do, nowhere near enough time, and enough stress for us and all of our friends. When I say that quiet is essential for your happiness and peace of mind, you probably think that you are doomed to a life of sadness and anger. Don't worry. We can all be happy. We all DESERVE to be happy.
Being quiet doesn't mean sacrificing productivity. Your mind will be quiet however if you allow your heart to select how you are productive. You can be busy doing something you love, and odds are those racing thoughts that bog you down won't seem so pervasive.
Getting quiet can be accomplished in many ways:
- staring out a window
- walking through nature
- reading a book
- doing yoga
- playing with your kids
- doing something you enjoy
Do You Feel Trapped in a Web of Thoughts Preying on Your Happiness?
Detours on the Path to Happiness
There are many detours that can keep you from accessing your innate natural good feelings. For example, it is easy to go down a detour when your thought system is in control.
Detours on your path to happiness:
- Anger- clouding your mind from the beauty of the world around you, anger is a common detour on the path to happiness; maintained anger never solves anything, it just makes you feel negative and keeps you from living in the now, or from accessing your inner wisdom
- Insecurity- the only thought on the list of detours, insecurities can be powerful; most of the problems we create for ourselves stem from the illusion of insecurity
- The Past- because your brain works as a file cabinet for your memories, the past can work as a detour to happiness- but only if you allow it; you can live in the present by living from your heart and not your thought system
- Ego and Self-Importance- this is more of a road-block than a detour, since the ego is the strongest part of your thought system; letting go of ego can be very difficult, however you will feel like a new person when you stop trying so hard to prove yourself
- Beliefs of Others- getting caught up in others' beliefs is less of a detour and more of a trap; we all create our own world, based on our thought system. You can't successfully try to live your life by believing somebody else's judgments, stereotypes, and beliefs
Avoiding the Detours, Traps and Roadblocks Stopping You From Being Happy
"Lighten Up, Keep it Simple and Come from Love"
That is the mantra for avoiding pitfalls on the path to happiness. When you can lighten up and stop taking things too seriously, what once seemed like a tragedy can be seen as an interesting event, as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block, as a great gift full of lessons to be learned, or just a funny situation.
The deeper the understanding, the easier it gets to avoid the pitfalls. Let good feelings from your heart be your guide to avoid detours, enjoy the detours, or find your way back home.
Read More in Buddha's Book of Stress Reduction
Fostering Healthy Relationships
When you can clear your mind, dismiss negative thoughts and live in gratitude, you can learn to appreciate the important people in your life. Once your mind is clear, you will also notice people in your life who may not be so healthy. Realize who matters in your life, and then take the necessary steps to foster and nurture those relationships:
- Being Accepting- this means respecting differences in your relationship just as much as similarities; true acceptance is unconditional and allows us to see others with compassion, gratitude and love
- Listening- true listening is forgetting about the details and instead hearing what the person is feeling, and knowing when those feelings are coming from thoughts of insecurity; when you feel love, compassion or interest rather than judgement or defensiveness, you can listen deeply
- Having Fun Together- having fun works as a catalyst to take you out of your thought system; when you want to experience love and good feelings in your relationship, it makes sense to do things together that bring pleasure and enjoyment
Engaging in Your Passions Can Quiet Your Mind and Help Change Your Thought Pattern
Are you as happy as you would like to be in life?
Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill
Keys to Happiness: A Summary
How would you like to live in a prison? Oh, you wouldn't? Believe it or not, that isn't such a ridiculous question to ask if you are someone living a life controlled by your thought system. This kind of life can often feel like life inside a dungeon or jail. The prison walls you create inside your mind are formed from illusionary thoughts that prevent them from finding happiness, finding peace of mind and finding healthy relationships.
There are four keys to happiness in life and in your relationships. These keys are:
- Thinking is Just a Function
- Feelings are Your Compass
- Noticing Separate Realities
- Staying in Tune with Your Mood Levels
What could be more important than happiness and serenity? Can you imagine the wonderful revolution that will take place when we all start dismissing the many thoughts that create so much misery? This key to happiness is simple. Dismiss negative thoughts- find serenity and happiness.