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Sex; Important Tips And Advice For The Bedroom

Updated on May 15, 2012


This article is not suitable for children under 18. The sole purpose of this article is to educate couples and show why communication is important in the bedroom.

For many of us, sex is a very sensitive subject. Many men and women feel uncomfortable about bring up their sex life. More importantly, partners also fail to talk with one another about their sexual relationship. You are just like everyone else, you want to get the most out of your sex life with your partner. In my research, I have found that men and women often fail to communicate with each other in regards to their sex life.

Below, you can find the most common reasons why couples don't communicate.

  • Afraid that partner will get angry
  • May bring up trust issues
  • Scared that partner will feel unappreciated
  • Could be a turn off
  • Strained for time
  • Living with children or family
  • Not interested anymore
  • Fails to listen and understand
  • Dealing with everyday life issues



Communication is the most important step toward a better sex life with your partner. In fact, communication alone can do the trick. Both men and women have to constantly communicate to one another throughout their entire relationship. The better you communicate, the better you understand and listen. The same can be said when it comes to the bedroom. Once you and your partner begin to communicate in the bedroom, you will be more willing to understand and listen.

So why is it so important to communicate in the bedroom? Well, why do we communicate with anyone in the first place? We communicate because this is how we associate with one another. You have to apply the correct communication skills in the bedroom so you are able to experience a better sex life, both physically and emotionally. This goes beyond "sex talk" per say. This is connecting on a comfortable level where you are able to communicate with one another without embarrassment, regret, or hurt.

Although this may sound difficult or be viewed as hard work to others, it is very simple. It is so simple, anyone can do it. There has to be an equal level of give and take. You will be able to enjoy the pleasure communication brings to your sexual relationship and you will be able to reap all the great benefits. In the process, you will also learn more about your partner in more ways then one. You and your partner have to be comfortable with one another and hide nothing. If you are completely comfortable, you shouldn't have to hide anything. Once you are, the two of you will be able to enjoy more and have increased pleasure.


Now, what is the best way to learn about someone? Do you have it yet? It is simple, by asking questions! I told you this was easy. You and your partner have to be able to openly ask questions to each other. The both of you also have to openly answer the questions honestly. This is the only way it will work. In any partnership, you have to be able to work equal. The same is said in any relationship. If you both are willing, it will pay off in ways you never thought possible.

So what questions do you ask? This is where it takes on another level as each question you ask is very personal. In the simplest way that I can say, you want to ask what your partner likes and doesn't when it comes to sex. Many of you may have already asked questions, but you have to be completely honest with each other. Ask questions that you haven't asked before. Ask questions again if your not for sure. You can find a list of example questions below. Every man and woman are different, no two are alike when it comes to their sexual behavior. If you have had mutiple sex partners, you may tend to be "routine". This means that you are likely to behave in the same manner or perform similar sexual acts. You can't be routine because no two are alike in their wants and needs.

Example questions that you may need answers for:

I can't go into detail about the questions that you need to ask, but you can figure them out on your own time. The key is to learn everything you can about your partner sexually. What better way to get the answers you need then by asking questions. If you have been with your partner for some time now, you should at least have an idea of what they like and don't. Once again, you have to be honest with each other when asking questions and answering them also.

For starters, I know these questions can get personal and you may not be comfortable with asking them. But truth be told, the answers are very important to having a better sex life. Once you have a better understanding of what your partner likes, both of you have the chance to experience a higher level of pleasure. This can increase your arrousal or put you in the mood more then you currently are. You can only benefit from this once you and your partner are completely comfortable with one another.

Sex should be fun, interesting, and full of excitement. If you are not feeling this way, something is wrong. Those of you that have been in relationships for years may find this harder to do then younger couples. When you are with the same sex partner, your sex life can get strained and boring. This is not to say that you are tired of that person. It just means that you both need to try new things. Sex is just like anything else in life. If you eventually do it enough, it can become tiring. Don't be afraid to try new things and experience new adventures with your partner. When your with someone for so long, you have to put in an equal effort to keep your sex life interesting. At the least, use your imagination! Sex is just like everything else in your life, if it is done the same way, day in and day out, it will eventually become routine or boring.

I know this is a sensitive subject for many of you and it is something that most of you prefer to keep in the bedroom. The sole purpose of this article is to show you why communication is so important in your sex life. Take the time to talk to your partner and make sure both of you are comfortable with one another. Communication is the key to sexual happiness.


It is possible that you have tried everything that you can think of and your still missing something in your sex life. If you have came to this point, you and your partner should once again communicate. You should try to exactly find what is missing and fix it. You may find it and you may not. But at the least, you and your partner should try. If the both of you don't try, you will never know what could have been.

If you and your partner have talked, it is possible that the two of you are not meant for each other. In order to have a happy relationship, you must have a healthy sex life. Both men and women have different needs when it comes to sex. It is your job as their partner to find out what those needs are. As mentioned before, no two men or women are alike in their needs and wants.

Remember, communication is everything. You have to communicate with one another to get the most out of your sex life. If you fail to communicate, your sex life will fail also. Sex is a very valuable act in one's relationship. This is how we connect to the one we love and adore. This is when two hearts, bodies, and souls become one. Don't frown upon sex like it is a sin. Sex is a beautiful thing when shared by a couple. If you take the time to communicate, you have the chance to experience things that you never thought possible. Give it a try.



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    • thelyricwriter profile imageAUTHOR

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      7 years ago from West Virginia

      Rajan, thanks for taking the time to comment and vote. Very well said my friend.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      7 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA.

      Communication is most important in any relationship, most of all in this. Very well written.

      Voted up & useful.

    • thelyricwriter profile imageAUTHOR

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      7 years ago from West Virginia

      Max, you crack me up:) Good point though. What do our parents teach us about sex? What do we teach our children about sex? Parents have to communicate with their children. I would rather teach my children then have them hear it from God knows who. If you can be truthful and open with them, they are more likely to speak up if things should occur.

    • BeyondMax profile image


      7 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Awe, how did I miss this? I am so shameless when it comes to the talks about sex LOL I think that the biggest problem lies in the way of our upbringing. Where I come from it was always branded as a shame, forbidden topic, plus add some religion aspects and you'll get a person so clammed up by the end of the day that you'd think he is genderless and you'll start to believe that the kids can be found in a cabbage patch... Yeah, communication is the key, true story.

    • thelyricwriter profile imageAUTHOR

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      7 years ago from West Virginia

      *Rahul0324, thanks for taking the time to read this and comment. Great point. Healthy relationship, great communication gives us that. It is proven, those in a healthy relationship tend to live longer.

      *Barbergirl28, I am so glad to hear that. You make a good point. You took your communication to another level. If there isn't 110% commitment, it will not work. Very inspiring and great news.

      *KJ Force, always a pleasure my dear. Another great point. You really should have a sense of humor in your relationship. Life is demanding at times. Just as you state, the importance of setting time aside is crucial. Make time if you are busy. Wonderful advice.

    • kj force profile image


      7 years ago from Florida

      Been married to the same man for 49 years..communication on all levels has been priority. We both had demanding careers,so we set aside time to stop and smell the roses.

      We have had date night once a week,sometimes a week-end away. Sometimes it's just the daily pressure we must escape..very important NEVER lose your sense of humor !!!

      Tastefully done hub..voted up..

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 

      7 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      You did a great job on this article as it is done very tastefully. I have to say, after years of marriage, my husband and I finally really started communicating. It isn't that we didn't communicate before, but we took it to a whole new level. There are no bars anymore and our marriage is much stronger now because of it! :)

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 

      7 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      this is a very useful article! physical compatibility relies a lot on communication between the partners.... and is an essential factor in a healthy relationship!

      Great tips and advice

      Sharing this one

    • thelyricwriter profile imageAUTHOR

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      7 years ago from West Virginia

      *Lovedoctor926, lol:) Thanks a million. Greatly appreciated.

      *MM, always great to hear from you. Agreed. Just as it is in life, communication is everything. It is just like being a child and wanting a red bike. If you don't tell mom and dad, how will they ever know? Same with sex. Thanks Lesley and see you soon.

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 

      7 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Ricky, yes communication is the key and some couples just do not talk together enough.

      I admire the way you have approached this subject, very well written - voting up.

      Best wishes Lesley

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Thank you thelyricwriter for your reply.. This is very good advice. much appreciated.

    • thelyricwriter profile imageAUTHOR

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      7 years ago from West Virginia

      *Lovedoctor926, thanks for taking the time to read this article and comment. Perfect statement. Your right, there has to be a level of trust. As far as conflict, it all depends on what brought on the conflict. Easier said then done, but you have to put yourself in their shoes, their perspective. All conflicts can be resolved. It points back to communication in my opinion. It takes talking and understanding to resolve conflict. Be open minded, listen, understand, and resolve. Great question.

      *Tillsontitan, thanks for coming by. I appreciate the comment and kind words. It is a very thin rope to cross, but I can understand why. Sex is and will always be a sensitive subject. It can be taught in a healthy and appropriate manner though.

      *Alocsin, always great to hear from you pal. You do make a good point. I think a counselor is needed if a relationship is routine. What I mean, if a couple is use to certain situations or a certain lifestyle, it can be hard to change. This is especially true when it comes to relationships of 5, 10, 20 plus years. They may feel that they don't need help, therefore, they are closed minded. I believe you can avoid the counselor by keeping the communication lines open. Learn to find equal ground, listen, understand, and communicate. When communication breaks down, so does the relationship.

    • alocsin profile image

      Aurelio Locsin 

      7 years ago from Orange County, CA

      I think there's another solution if you and your partner are not communicating correctly about your needs. And that's to see a counselor. Perhaps there are deeper issues that only counseling can bring up. Voting this Up and Useful.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 

      7 years ago from New York

      I hate to be redundant but communication is definitely love, to friendship and to sex. You handled this subject very nicely. I know it can be difficult on Hub Pages with restrictions and all. Voted up and interesting.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      This is a very good hub. Great advice from a guy's perspective. Communication is vital in any relationship. It's a skill just like any other, but it can also be learned. A relationship is based on trust and trust takes time to build. I agree with you. Once you're completely comfortable with each other, there shouldn't be any reason to lie nor hide anything. Any advice on conflict resolution?

    • thelyricwriter profile imageAUTHOR

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      7 years ago from West Virginia

      AE, lol:) Truthfully, it is a very sensitive subject to write about. I tried real hard to abide by all guidelines. So many people fail to communicate about it. I have done my fair amount of research on it and it stunned me when I found out the percentage of men and women that don't communicate correctly. Hopefully, this will help them out.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      7 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Geez, I would have to be the first to respond..Your article is very good and full of truths. Tastefully done. Thank you Ricky...


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