- Diseases, Disorders & Conditions
Sex and Meniere's Disease for Beginners
Sex and Menieres: A rough guide
This is a personal thing, a very personal thing, and I’m going to be rather candid about the subject. If you are in any way offended by material of a sexual nature then don’t read any further.
This year (2012) is my 47th year. This is important for a specific reason. It’s fairly well established that erectile dysfunction can hit men in their forties. As yet I have no sign of this, I would go as far as to say that I have the opposite problem, which may not seem like a problem to some, but it’s a lot like driving around a crowded city looking for somewhere to park. It can be highly frustrating. It also is a clear indicator that having Meniere’s Disease doesn’t automatically turn off your taps.
Now that we have established that my bits are in working order there’s the issue of desire. I have always been ‘interested’ in sex; however, I view it as more of a nicety than a necessity. I have had Meniere’s since before I was old enough to legally shag, since then I have had several sexual partners. This is not going to be a bragfest, just an honest recounting of situations.
As I got older and Meniere’s progressed, I noticed a few things weren’t quite as they should be. When I was nineteen I worked at a Butlins Holiday Camp where I met a sweet young thing called Maria, we had quite a passionate exchange of saliva and then just as things were progressing toward hands under clothing the sky swapped places with the ground and I fell over and puked on a bush. Fortunately it wasn’t Maria’s, she thought I’d just had too much to drink and said she’d see me the next day before leaving me in a puddle of vomit with my world rotating. (I never saw her again).
After that I had more encounters, and most of them were far more successful than others. It was a rather active time for me, but even back then there were limitations, at the time though I put it down to nerves and alcohol. When I say that most of them were successful I would stress that this is all Meniere’s related, and my measure of success was ‘Did I make her happy’, which in almost every case was a yes, and the others involved vomit.
(MEN TAKE NOTE) Women are wonderful creatures, and although they appear to be an entirely different species, they are subject to every bit as much human desire as mere mortals. I may be wrong about this, but judging by my own experiences I believe that there’s far more to relationships than self-gratification, and much more to sex than a penis entering a vagina. I’m no expert, but I’ve found that there’s a huge organ men have that isn’t used very often in love-making, and that’s the brain. Women use it far more in bed.
There’s a lot that can be done to have a real good time in bed, AND for both of you to reach climax, without the need for dipping your wick. It’s not a rodeo, there’s an entire body to gently slide over and you have been given lips, a tongue, fingers and toes for a reason.
Emotions are very important too, not just showing them but discussing them. If you don’t feel up to shagging then perhaps you can substitute something else, play with each other, and lay there stroking or cuddling. You might just find that something you didn’t want will become something pleasurable after all. Understanding isn’t that difficult to achieve if approached the right way and just because you have an illness it doesn’t mean that passion has to take a back seat.
The Earth CAN still move for your partner even if the earth is constantly moving for you.
My Meniere’s has developed, and I have complications from other illnesses, yet sex is still not impossible, but is subject to rules and regulations. If I don’t feel as if I can swing off the chandelier doing a Tarzan yodel then I won’t. I’ll probably limit myself to jumping off the wardrobe yelling ‘Banzai’. Failing that I’ll relax on the bed and have some of that really good cuddling, you know the sort I mean ;)
If your partner gives a damn you are halfway there, because they love you and Meniere’s is something you share, even if they don’t have the symptoms. To be honest I wouldn’t recommend the ‘not tonight’ method as it can backfire, and when you actually feel randy AND capable at the same time it’s going to be no good with a miserable non-compliant partner. Remember ‘Carpe Diem’.
A while ago my partner bent over to get something out of the freezer, and the sight was too much for me… Instant wood… So I grabbed her from behind and took her there and then. I was fulfilled, she was shocked, and we were both banned from the supermarket.
These days my Meniere’s is more prevalent, bilateral and nasty, so the desire for shagging by far outweighs the capability, but I still manage to maintain a great relationship with a loving and caring palm (it’s good for the prostate).
Sex IS possible with Meniere’s, you just have to treat it as if you have a bottle of nitro-glycerine between the cheeks of your butt and take things gently.
Oh, and keep a bucket by the bed ;)