Sometimes your eyes need to wander...

...to where the biggest guy in the room is standing. Or the group of people that could potentially harm you the most.

What I'm trying to say is, I actually stare people down sometimes.

Actually, I don’t stare them down like a combat sports athlete would do.

But I surely take a quick look at most of the people who are in my immediate presence, whenever I’m entering a room.

No matter if it’s at the mall, at the airport, in a club or at a dive bar or whatever else place that’s filled with people. The aim is to find out who can cause me trouble, if something was to happen.

Now, don’t you think that I immediately start swinging my fists if tensions were to arise.

Far from it.

In fact, I’d try to calm matters down. Simple gestures like ‘Sorry, my fault’ or ‘Apologies, I didn’t mean to bump into you’ go a long way. Especially in the society we live in today.

Keep also in mind that a lot of people, especially eye witnesses are quick to produce their phones and video what’s going on.

And they might only video the very second where there was an altercation between you and the other party, and not the build-up.

A lot of people might call me paranoid, but I like to call myself aware. Or, awoke.

Again, this doesn’t mean you’re supposed to carry a knife or a gun with you at all times. Use logic. See what would apply and not.

In some cases though, carrying a gun won’t be so dumb.

For example, there are certain states where you’re allowed to carry a gun concealed.

That is, if you have a license to do so. If you’re actually eligible for such a license, then there’s nothing to wonder about. Walk around with a gun, but aim not to use it.

My point is that there is so much you can do before you have to get physical and touch people.

Looking around, finding out who can harm you or not and then keep an extra eye on that person helps you a lot. Just knowing that there is one or two people that you need to focus on if things go down, will prevent you from getting distracted if you’re at a place where there’s a lot of people.

Having the audacity and the insight to calm matters down and be the first one to leave the scene will likely cause you a lot of trouble.

Keep in mind that a lot of people are in jail over having their egos hurt.

But if things go down fast and there’s nothing you can do, you *might* have to get physical.

And by ‘physical’ I don’t even mean taking a swing at them. I’m talking about using your two legs and walking away, if you have the chance. Or even sneak away if you can do that. There’s a lot of opportunities for those who delay using violence as long as they can.

The tone of your voice, your eye contact, your posture — your body language can help determine the outcome of a potentially dangerous situation.

But one or two times you may have to get violent.

In which case I’ll write more about at a later time.

Until then, do whatever you can to de-escalate a situation. Apologize to people even if it's not your fault. Go another way so that you avoid suspiscious and threatening people. Show others around you respect. I can assure you, a humble and polite attitude combined with a smile goes a long way.

Especially in 2020.

Let people know you have nothing to hide.

Move so they can walk past you.

Smile and greet them.

And you'll see how a lot of potentially dangerous situations can be avoided.

After all, life's about getting home unharmed, right?