Split Second-A Tribute to My Son, Kevin (1990-2003)

"Split Second".....how aptly named.

My son Kevin was using this title for a comic strip he was creating involving go-carts. As he neared his thirteenth birthday, go-carts were a big part of his life, although drawing was a deeper passion for him having won many art contests since he was four years old.

It was his love for go-carts that made "Split Second" a reality for me, for that's all it took for him to be gone. Nine years ago this month, Kevin died in a split second. He was killed instantly from injuries sustained in a go-cart accident.

Kevin had never once been hurt in any way riding go-carts. Never a scratch, never a bump, never a bruise.....until that day. It seems so unfair that he would die from the only injury he ever sustained.

I want to remind you to take lots of photos of the people important to you. Someday those photos, and your memories, are all you may have of them. The photos really do help jar the memory regarding certain events as more time passes. I know I will never ever forget Kevin, but the photos allow the memories to remain more vivid.

As a tribute to my son, Kevin, I want to share with you some of my fondest memories of the funny things Kevin did or said as kids always do.

• When Kevin was about 4-5 years old I asked him to take some clothes hangers to the utility room and to put them on the dryer. Later, I asked him if he had done so. He said, "yes, well sort of, I put them on the wetter." (meaning the washing machine that sits next to the dryer)

• When Kevin was in kindergarten his school hosted a Halloween festival which included a spookhouse. Kevin was quite shy and wanted me to go through it with him. At one part there was a bloody woman lying on the ground crying for help and reaching her bloodied hand towards us. Kevin bent down to help her. It was such a sweet moment for such a shy child to still offer help to a stranger even though he was probably terrified.

• When Kevin was around 10-11 years old, I was putting his sister's hair into pigtails and putting in ribbons with their school colors, red and black. As he walked by us, he teasingly got into our faces. I asked him, "Kevin, do you want a red ribbon or a black ribbon in your hair?" Without missing a beat, he replied, "I don't know Mom, do you want a red eye or a black eye?" He was joking of course, but what a great comeback!

• Kevin was 10 years old when the planes hit the twin towers on 9/11. His younger sister was 8 years old. Not knowing how they would react to the news they may, or may not have, heard at school, I was ready to answer all of their questions. I'll never forget the look on Kevin's face. Instead of fear he was so full of determination and ready for action. He was convinced that we personally would be involved in some sort of battle and he knew exactly how we'd win. With all seriousness, he told me that we had a secret weapon, his sister. He thought she would be the perfect distraction. And because she idolized him, she seemed very willing to play along. He thought we would simply place her in the yard and when the bad guys were distracted by such a sweet little girl, he and the rest of us would ambush them and win the battle.

• Every year Kevin entered his artwork into the county fair. As he got older, he kept raising the bar on his artwork, expecting more out of himself. The deadline for entering was nearing and he was having trouble coming up with what he considered suitable entries. I pointed to one on the floor that he had discarded. It's one that was just blobs and swirls of paint where he had messed up. However, as abstract as it was, I thought it resembled a melting witch. I encouraged him to enter it anyways since they had an abstract category. He called the painting "I'm Melting". Imagine his face when he and his friends attended the fair and he discovered that not only did he win first place, he took the Tri-Color award.

Click here to read my hub on how to overcome the grief of losing a child. There are hundreds of comments on this hub from parents all over the world who share their experience with the loss of a child.