- Mental Health
Stop Beating Yourself Up with Negativity
We know it so well. Our intellect is aware of how negativity around us affects and drains our spirit. And yet, often times, we are unconsciously negative with our own self. We do not even realized how we beat ourselves up constantly. Until we get sick.
Yes, that is what happened to me in the year 2000. To know more of this story, read “Living Wellness” and see how this illness cured me! I was taught a very valuable life lesson. Stop being mad at myself. Stop being unkind. Stop blaming. Stop being unloving. Stop beating myself up. And it changed my life totally!
When was the last time you look at yourself? Really look at yourself. Strip off your clothes and stand in a full length mirror and look. What do you see as you allow your gaze to look at your entire body? What do you see when you look at your eyes, the windows to your soul? Does your smile reach your eyes? Do you like who you have become? What are the thoughts running in your head as you look at yourself? Listen closely. Don’t judge those thoughts. Just listen.If you have the courage to listen, you will hear those voices. It may be the familiar voice that makes you feel small, unworthy, unlovable, ugly. Or it may be the joyful voice that says “Hey, I recognize you are not perfect and yet I love you anyway.”
If you hear the voices of negativity, it’s time to hear this truth.
You can be what you want to be.
You can stop it. You can stop feeling tired and feeling small. You can stop feeling unlovable and unworthy. You can stop being mad at yourself and with the rest of the world.
You can say, “I won’t do it anymore. I won’t behave this way anymore. I can learn to change and behave differently. I can learn to love myself.”
You are all you have. You may have forgotten this. But you are a gift! Therefore, decide to make yourself the most vibrant, beautiful, wonderful, tender, loving and fantastic person in the world. And then your life will change for the better. And you will always survive.
I was a little girl when I overheard my parents talking. They were worried if I was smart enough to pass the entrance test at a school in the big city. It was just a small conversation. But I still remember that incident. I remember the feeling of dread of failing in that test. And I remember how scared I am of doing anything especially if I can’t do it right. I was afraid of making mistakes. And the fear escalated and translated into “if I can’t do it right, my parents will not love me.”
It’s a crazy thing. But for many people, it can be the one that stops them from doing what they love. Fear of failure. Fear of being not good enough. So it is time to hear this truth. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to fall down and stand up again. There is no shame in these things. Do you know, our greatest failures often become our greatest blessings? Fear no more. Do what you love and learn to fly.
Forgive yourself. The only way to stop hating is to start forgiving. Forgive your mistakes. Forgive the choices you’ve made. Forgive those who have hurt you and whom you have hurt. Let go and allow the grace of forgiveness to heal the wounds within.
Get rid of those bummer words. Words that bring you down, thoughts that make you feel depressed and miserable. In its place, decide what positive words you can use in your conversations, when you talk and think about yourself and others and when you talk about the world.
Learn something new. Every time we learn something new, we become something new. Stop saying “I can’t do this and I can’t do that.” Just do it. Say “I can.” Saying yes to the HubChallenge is something new for me. I know there are moments when I think my writing isn’t good enough and that thought alone can stop me from writing. But by saying “I can do it. I can write 30 hubs in 30 days,” I am able to follow my goal which is to finish one hub a day.
Celebrate your triumphs and little successes. Take the time to celebrate you. Pamper yourself with words. Tell yourself, I am proud of you for …. state clearly what you have done. For instance, I am proud of you for handling the situation calmly. Look at yourself in the mirror and affirm yourself. I sometimes find myself patting my shoulder and saying “good job” when I overcome some difficulty. That helps me a lot. What’s more you can also give yourself a treat to celebrate.
Loving yourself means taking care of you. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Be tender. Nourish your body, your mind and your spirit with that which will make you into the greatest, grandest, most wonderful loving person in the whole world. This is what you are going to give to all those that you meet in this lifetime.
And what a beautiful gift you are.
By: Michelle Simtoco