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Struggling to Get Pregnant? I’ve Got the Answer!

Updated on November 7, 2018
VVanNess profile image

Victoria is a stay-at-home mom, author, educator, and blogger at Healthy at Home. She currently lives in Colorado with her family.

Struggling to Get Pregnant? I’ve Got the Answer!
Struggling to Get Pregnant? I’ve Got the Answer! | Source

Did you know that 1 in every 8 couples in the United States is struggling to get pregnant? (NBCNews) Most couples spend an average of 2-3 years trying and failing every month without any clue as to why they are not successful.

At any given moment 1.1 million women, just in the US are going through expensive treatments, such as IVF (In Vitro Fertilization), to try and conceive. Many are spending upwards of $20,000, $50,000 and even over $100,000 each try only to find failure waiting for them at the end of every month.

As each month passes without a pregnancy, you get more despondent. I've been there. I know what it feels like. You feel like you alone are incapable of getting pregnant. My husband said he was scared we weren't able to have a baby at all.

Your loneliness grows, you feel like a failure, you wonder if you're doing something wrong, and you wonder if it will ever happen for you. It is easy to get discouraged, especially when you feel like you're doing everything right and can't imagine what you're missing.

When I explain the solution to doing it right the first time, and tell you how in control you'll feel of your cycle and your ability to get pregnant, you'll feel foolish.

I had already heard of the strategy, and already knew the basics when I discovered it, but I didn't know the whole story, and it didn't truly have any meaning for me yet. I'm not sure I can really get into detail and explain the entire process well in one article, but I can send you to the right places and at least get you started.

You'll be tempted, when I start to explain, to close this article and assume you know what I'm talking about, but bear with me.

I got pregnant the first time I tried it, and was even able to take a pregnancy test WAY ahead of schedule because I was so sure of the results, and it was POSITIVE!!

You can have that too! Let me tell you how I did it.

Struggling to Get Pregnant? I’ve Got the Answer!
Struggling to Get Pregnant? I’ve Got the Answer! | Source


One of the biggest misconceptions keeping most women from getting pregnant is the idea that all women ovulate on day 14 of their cycle (or somewhere in the middle). So couples try to time their intercourse for around that time.

All of the testing that gynecologists do to determine your ability to conceive also revolves around this same misconception. Therefore tests like the post-coital test, hysteroscopies, endometrial biopsies, and even hormone testing, all of which must be done at the right time in your cycle to be accurate, are all inaccurate or inconclusive if they have misjudged your cycle timing.

And then consider all of the fertility treatments that can be mistimed if your cycle timing is misjudged. If you are going through artificial insemination, in vitro fertilization (IVF), intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI), gamete intrafallopian transfer (GIFT), or even zygote intrafallopian transfer (ZIFT), and the procedure happens well before or after you even ovulate, it’s not going to be successful.

You only release an egg on ONE DAY during your cycle. That egg has to be fertilized within 24 hours or so in order for you to get pregnant. During natural intercourse, a man’s sperm can stay alive for at least 2-3 days inside of her body, but only while she still has fertile cervical fluid present.

What this means for you is that within that 3-4 days during ovulation, which happens at different times in a woman’s cycle (this month mine was already done and over with by day 14), you must have healthy sperm present to meet the egg when it is ready.

If you are intimate too soon, the sperm will simply die within 30 to a couple of hours and won’t be there when the egg comes out. If you are even one day late in being intimate, the egg has already died and it is too late.

It is critical for you to understand your own cycles, if you are to know exactly when you should be having intercourse and exactly when you have ovulated. But this isn’t possible is it? Really?

Of course it is! And that’s the point of this whole article. Stop wasting your time randomly being intimate to per chance catch the right day, stop spending valuable money on fertility testing that is pointless as it is being done at the wrong time to be successful, and finally, stop spending thousands of dollars, and all of the emotional trauma that goes with it, on fertility treatments that aren’t timed correctly.

You can be successful, without spending a dime, all on your own, the very first month.

The Three Signs

There are three main signs that your body produces naturally every month to let you know exactly what’s happening inside your body, which are your temperature, your cervical fluid, and your cervical position.

This is where you’re going, “I know, I know. I’ve read all about this and it doesn’t work for me.” But it’s because it wasn’t explained well, you never truly understood it, and therefore, it held no actual meaning for you. I recorded these symptoms for a couple of years before I had the right resources in my hands to understand it. Bear with me until the end and you won’t regret it.

Your Basal Body Temperature

This is the most basic of symptoms you can record. All it takes is a basic digital thermometer that you can purchase from the grocery store for a couple of dollars. Your basal body temperature can tell you a few things, like whether you’ve ovulated that month, whether you are pregnant, and whether you are having a miscarriage once you are pregnant.

As helpful as this basic information may be, you can’t rely on it completely to tell you what’s going on, as all it will tell you in regards to your ovulation is whether it has already happened, but it cannot tell you when it is going to happen, which is what you need to get pregnant. It is important to record, but not without the other two.

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Your Cervical Fluid

Your cervical fluid is simply the natural juices that your body creates on a daily basis. It is only in understanding them better, recording them in conjunction with your temperature, and paying attention to what they are telling you that you exactly pinpoint the moment you begin ovulating, the day you release an egg and the conclusion of your ovulation.

During your cycle your natural fluids go from dry during your period, to more and more wet (or fertile) towards the day you release an egg, and then it goes dry again. When you are dry, obviously you are not fertile and sperm is not able to survive in your body. However, when you are wet, a man’s sperm can continue to survive until this moisture disappears.

With this sign, you can be in control of your fertility, not only able to predict when you are most likely to get pregnant, but also if there are truly any problems present that need to be addressed before you can conceive.

Your Cervical Position

With this last sign alone you could probably detect all of this wonderful information, but without the help of the others that you are tracking and recording, it would be difficult to read what exactly is happening.

Your cervix is actually a moving, active part of your body. Before this venture, I assume that your cervix was simply a hole through which sperm traveled into your uterus. In fact, it’s a whole lot more than that. During your cycle, your cervix goes from pointing downward and closed, meaning that nothing is going to get into your uterus at that point, to facing upwards and open, allowing sperm inside to fertilize your eggs.

This coincides closely with both your cervical fluid and your temperature. With all three of these signs telling you exactly what’s happening and when in your body, you are sure to be successful in your attempts at conception.

Struggling to Get Pregnant? I’ve Got the Answer!
Struggling to Get Pregnant? I’ve Got the Answer! | Source


Charting involves recording all of the signs that you see throughout the month. Obviously this begins with taking your temperature every morning about the same time, checking your cervical fluid throughout the day to determine what is happening, and checking your cervical position at the exact same time every night and writing down what you identify.

The great thing about charting is that you can also record headaches, cramping, spotting, irritability, breast tenderness, or any other symptoms you notice throughout the month. You can record the ovulation tests you use, the pregnancy tests you try, and especially when you are having intercourse.

You can time your pregnancy for when you want it, avoiding ovulation until you are ready to get pregnant, and timing intercourse precisely when you are ready. You can also note patterns, see how stress may affect the timing of your ovulation, and even determine right away if there are any problems that need to be addressed.

These charts also give your doctor a MUCH better idea about what’s happening in your body so that they can better treat you.

The Luteal Phase

This is just a bonus that you’ll learn about when I tell you where to find this wealth of information! The luteal period is the time between the day your ovulation has ended and the day before your period starts. Every woman’s luteal period is going to be the same (with maybe one day off) every month. (Different from eachother, but the same as every previous month they’ve charted for themselves.)

Mine was 10 or 11 days every month, but normally 10 days. What’s great is that through this process, I learned that if my luteal period deviated more than one day off, we were likely successful that month and I was pregnant. So day 12 came and I still didn’t have my period (and my temperatures were still high, all of this will be explained). The morning of day 13, with no period, I took a pregnancy test and it was POSITIVE!

This is just another part of charting that puts you in control. I wasn’t even supposed to have my period for more than another week and yet, I already knew I was pregnant.

Struggling to Get Pregnant? I’ve Got the Answer!
Struggling to Get Pregnant? I’ve Got the Answer! | Source

Identifying Problems and Solving Them

Finally, if you are charting and recording all of these important signs, and all other symptoms that you can see, and you are still not getting pregnant, your chart will tell you, simply by reading what it is showing, exactly what problem you are likely having.

You can know right away what to do to fix it so you can get pregnant the next month. And what’s even better, you don’t necessarily need a doctor to fix an issue you might be having. My resource shared vitamins, practices, and even tips for handling just about any problem you might discover.

Wouldn’t that be great to be able to handle your fertility problem yourself without a doctor? This process ultimately puts you in absolutely control of everything every step of the way. Why wouldn’t you want to try it out for yourself?

Oh, you do! Then let’s get to it!


I know that this is the part you’ve been waiting on! My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years. I had read all of the books (I thought), tried all of the suggestions, considered all of the methods for getting pregnant, and we even talked about adopting.

My unworthy doctor told me that we were obviously infertile, or that maybe I was pushing my husband into something that he wasn’t ready for (the nerve!). She refused to help us find out what was going on without all of the very expensive tests and procedures, and she wouldn’t even discuss other options. It was my fault, she said. What a horrible doctor!!

And then one day I was shopping at a garage sale and found a stack of books on parenting and getting pregnant for a great price. I thought I could put them on craigslist or eBay for a great price. Lol But this one book kept staring at me until I finally had to pick it up and read it.

The author was real, she was encouraging me, and from the very beginning she gave me hope for a baby of our own in the future. In fact, she all but promised one by the end of her book if I just followed her suggestions. It was worth a try!

Struggling to Get Pregnant? I've Got the Answer!
Struggling to Get Pregnant? I've Got the Answer! | Source

But the more I read, the more I understood, I wondered why more women didn’t know what she was teaching if it was so successful. And it dawned on me.

The whole fertility industry altogether would lose a great deal of business and money if women knew about this. And physicians would have to admit defeat and change their way of thinking if this were all true. That made me like it all the more. I felt like I had discovered a gold mine.

I was able to take a process I had tried for years, but never truly understood, causing me to all but give up on it altogether, and renew it for a better purpose. Within one week I felt truly confident about what I was doing. Within two weeks I was ovulating and super excited that we were going to have a baby this month.

I felt so in control, I was so confident, I felt dumb for not having known this before. My husband was even excited and we were both learning SO much! On day 12 I knew that I would have a positive test the next morning, and I did! I could hardly believe it! We had NEVER had a positive test. I was finally pregnant!!!

Where did I find all of this amazing information? You NEED to read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. You’ll thank yourself for giving it a try! Good luck! Not like you’ll need it with this book!

For more information, her website is where she’ll provide you answers to your frequently asked questions, charts to print out, common misconceptions, fun suggestions, etc.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health
Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health
Love it, recommend it to everyone, can't say enough good about it. We wouldn't have conceived either of our little ones without it. Seriously, check out this book!

Quick Poll

How long have you been trying to get pregnant?

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© 2014 Victoria Van Ness


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