ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Subway germs gave me balance

Updated on December 5, 2009

Often people turn to yoga for balance. I use the subway for mine. The very idea of touching the hand rails are absolutely deplorable. I see a hand covering a mouth of a wet sneeze or cough only to place a grip on one of the chrome poles of all things foul. If I can't find a seat, I plant my feet firmly to the floor, slightly bend my knees and use the idea of some weird human version of mange possibly infecting me if I touch down on a hand rail as my type of zen paranoiac incentive.

I had a friend who, on a drunken bet, licked one of those rails for five bucks and afterwards, he got really sick with nausea and flu like symptoms. I don't even think he ever got his bet money either. But thats what he gets for participating in drunken friend pet tricks.

I'm not down with anti-bacterial lotion which only challenges germs to put on their little fighter helmets and learn to over throw the anti-bacterial stuff created out of need for consumer's to feel more civilized in a savage city. This stuff only weakens the body and contributes to the ever growing phenomena of staph infections that are becoming more largely because of the sissifying of a body that should be able to fight germs and bacteria on its own.

Back to the subway balancing act and me grabbing my book for balance and riding the subway wave masterfully. Sometimes I have to clutch onto a rail with a sleeved hand as I imagine the subway driver thinking herself an Evel Knievel type who loves to launch and lurch the passengers to give us our money's worth. Those moments can be amusing when you see the baby in his stroller roll and knock into the accordianed musician who falls into the woman who picked the wrong time to apply lipstick. Her red streaked face watches as her tube of MAC lipstick flies into the change cup of a homeless beggar. All fun and games until my skin has contact with one of those hand rails then I'm upset and silently cursing the driver who I know won't be feeding me chicken soup and buying me medicine while my gangrenous hand twitches feebly. Okay. Okay. Chicken soup doesn't help gangrene but you get the point.

In any case, after being able to travel from Brooklyn to Manhattan and back while barely budging, I have to thank the germs for persuading me to have the balance that I now do have. Thank you MTA for my outstanding sea legs. When I graduate to cabbing it and think back to my struggling days when I rode the subway, I'll stare at my top of the line latexed gloves that permanently cover my hands when ever I leave the house then look at my framed photo of Howard Hughes in his last days and think of how lucky I am. Not only can I afford these gloves or that frame or the cabs but also how great it is to have reached the level of success where all my eccentricities, quarks and phobias are now pampered and written off as just me being "artistically inclined." As common folk, my resistance to touch the rails can be viewed as OCD and off I'm huddled into the masses, prescribed a pill and forgotten. But when you've reached a certain status, your story is covered by People magazine and your every whim is catered to.

They're germs. They're everywhere! But I still won't touch the hand rails in the subway. Never! Never!! Never!!!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Gabriella D'Anton profile image

      Gabriella D'Anton 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles, Ca

      Great story; germs, glaves, humor and all. I loved it!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)