Take Control - Use NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Techniques.
Memories can be a positive asset but they can also bring up painful emotions some of which may still be unresolved. We often bury our emotions and memories as the prospect of resolving issues can be too much to deal with especially if it’s a traumatic situation. Buried emotions of course are not healthy. As these memories manifest as feelings, sounds and images and some can be incredibly strong and even overwhelming.
Learn to control memories, you can choose how to experience them or enhance memories that are positive and reduce the impact of negative memories.
This can be achieved by practicing a NLP techniques called Recall a Memory and Re-framing.
Recall a Memory
For instance, use a memory that is not too painful or difficult initially, later you can gradually involve memories with high emotional intensity as you become more confident with this technique.
1)Begin by selecting and imagining a memory in your mind.
(Note that it may emerge in sound format, as an image or simply a wave of emotions).
2)Step into this memory and observe it.
(If this is too difficult for you, step back, and instead, imagine that you are recording the scene rather than actually acting out the memory. This provides you with a safe distance if you are unsure of facing emotional recollections.)
3)Control the volume, reducing it or change the tone of someone who was speaking or whole event in your mind.
(If the experience becomes painful i.e. someone is crying and the scene becomes intense, reduce the volume.)
(If the memory turns volatile, perhaps you recall something that floods your senses a moment when someone is verbally unkind, change the sound of their voice – make it higher or lower or even cartoon-like as this will ensure it has less impact on you)
.4)Instead of making the picture or the scene larger, this time, make the experience smaller.
(remove color from it so that you are looking it in black-and-white, step back from it or move the scene so that it is further away from you. If you want to deal with this memory, you can imagine yourself destroying the memory, reducing it in size or visualizing breaking links in the chain so that it destroys any hold it has over you.)
Also, note that even if you do try to destroy the memory in this way, it will remain as part of your memories but, it will reduce any negative impact on you.
A great technique to help you look back over any mistakes you may have made and to freeze-frame a moment in your mind.
(It’s effective because you can view a scene as if watching a movie and run
the situation a frame at a time. Then, when you arrive at the moment where you believe you made a mistake, you freeze the frame and consider what options you might do going forward.)
This prevents you from making the same mistakes again.
For maximum impact of this technique, try to do this each day for 5-10 minutes with different memories until you become an expert at this technique.
We as human usually love to play The Blame Game. Our first action towards Taking Control of our life is to COMPLETELY STOP The Blame Game. And start taking RESPONSIBILITY by owning up for our actions.
Consider the following:
- What is the problem?
- How long has the problem existed?
- Who do you blame for this problem?
- Why has this problem occurred?
- Why haven’t you done something to resolve this problem?
In order to find the right solution to your problem answer these questions with at most HONESTY.
As this allows you to:
- Move forward in a more productive manner
- Consider the end result
- Contemplate any former successes and use these as a model to go forward
- To seek solutions from other people and plan any strategies.
In business, we always use SMART goals. To adhere to the SMART model, all goals must be:
his works really well within NLP as it also increases the potential for SMART goals because when you are designing these outcomes, you are also tuning into all of your senses and are therefore, able to edit the goals so that they become more than SMART.
Consider writing a detailed list and then work through the following questions to ensure that your goals work for you:
- Are your goals written in a positive way?
- Is each goal created, maintained and within your actual control?
- Does each goal describe the evidence procedure?
- Is each goal clearly defined?
- Do each of the goals identify the required resources?
- Does the goal clearly identify the first stepping-stone?
Now map your journey by using the following questions:
- How will I know that I am achieving the desired outcome?
- What will I need to do to achieve it?
- How will I feel when I have achieved the goal?
On the way towards your desired goals, if you are face any unfortunate problems, then consider to answer these questions.
- Have you identified the real reason as to why you want this goal?
- What do you stand to lose or gain should you achieve the goal?
- What will happen if you achieve your goal?
- What will not happen if you achieve your goal?
Behavioral flexibility is a must,
‘within interactions between people, the person with the most flexibility of behavior can control the interaction.’
Meaning if your process is not working, alter your processes and routes.
CLARITY IS IMPORTANT to Take Control of your Life.