Take a Deep Breath - Adapt and Overcome - Or Just Ignore It

There's that saying about life-lemons-lemonade, you know what I mean, and by golly if it isn't the truth. We can take the most difficult situations and use some simple tactics to make them a little less terrible. The problem won't go away, but with a little positive engagement, it can be a little less deafening. Let's work on taking those absolutely unbearable issues and make them somewhat tolerable, that's a step in the right direction. Focusing on the negative doesn't invite a positive change, but focusing on the positive, or changing what we can, can help the situation lead in a positive direction. There are a few things you can use to help drive everything to the positive side.

I am constantly telling Wallace, my four year old, to take a deep breath. Sometimes it's so he stops whining and sometimes so he can think about what he is doing. Taking a breath is a basic life sustaining action, but can be so much more. A deep breath in the midst of an exciting situation, positive or negative, can help refocus energy to avoid overreaction. As a mother, sometimes taking a deep breath allows me to refocus my thinking, possibly start my entire thought process over, and carefully choose my reaction. Instead of flying off the handle, I can use trying situations to help teach lessons and help develop stronger more resilient kids. I have learned that laying next to a child and taking deep cleansing breaths eventually leads to the child also taking deep breaths, even when they are fighting hard not to. This can take a while, and patience can grow thin, but I assure you it works. When there is anger involved, try taking a deep breath and just focus on how it feels when the breath enters your body, or leaves it. I imagine the breath leaving my body is the negativity, anger, or toxins exiting my body never to return. You can also use this method when going to sleep. It may just stop you from fretting about something that would have kept you up all night.

I understand sometimes a deep breath just isn't enough. You are mad, seriously mad and can't see any way out of it. Adapt and overcome may be the way to go. It sounds cliche, and it is, but it just might work. Let's say a family member committed a terrible offense and you just can't understand, forgive, or forget. Move on, adapt a new plan, change your thinking and get that action, or maybe even the person out of your plan. Yes they may be family, but we can't let family drag us down over and over again. Just because they are a relative, doesn't mean you have to enable, support, or condone their behavior. Giving yourself permission to move on might be just the nudge you need to get going with the rest of your life.

There are some things that you have absolutely no control over. Do a thorough review and if that's where you are at on a given situation, ignore it. This should never be a first line of defense, but it could be the only line of defense. If someone is enabling another and you just can't understand why, can't convince them not to, it might be best to ignore it. Don't fight a losing battle over and over again. It's hard when the offender is someone you really care about, parent, spouse, child, but at some point if you can't change it, you don't want to break ties, and it doesn't directly affect you, ignore it. That doesn't mean let terrible things happen in front of your face and do nothing, what it does mean is do the best you can, but don't let it bring you down with the issue. If your sister continuously enables her drug addicted friend, but she is not asking your for money, support, etc, let her be. Don't ride with her to drop money off in a drug riddled neighborhood, but you can ignore it and keep her in your prayers to be safe and make good decisions.

Using any of these practices to help maneuver through life can only increase the quality of life you experience. Try not to judge, but do a thorough review, make a decision, implement your choice and stick with it. Keep your life moving in the right direction, even when the speed bumps blow out your tires. There's hope, work on finding it.